showing up ~ 12/29/18

Saturday, December 29, 2018 (8:34 a.m.)
Lake Arrowhead, CA

Holy God,

I’m here. Showing up. I checked out yesterday. There was sadness. Sad news. A misunderstanding. Bitterness. Unforgiveness . And alienation.

Forgive me Father. Forgive my unforgiving spirit. I love You. You have taught me much better than this. I am to be better not bitter.

Thank You that You are our best example of how and who we are to be. Loving. Joyful. Peaceful. Patient. Kind. Good. Faithful. Gentle. And self-controlled (Galatians 5:22-23). I was few of those yesterday. I look to You. Asking, seeking, knocking (Matthew 7:7). Knowing. Believing. Trusting.

I let circumstances color my attitude and behavior. Again I ask, forgive me Father.

(9:43 a.m.)

So here I am, Bible finally in hand. Turning in Your Word to read and learn more about forgiveness. And I have a whole lot of options. Guide and direct my search, Dear Lord.

(10:55 a.m.)

And here we go. Reaping Goodness Galatians 6:7-10. Especially verse 9! “So don’t get tired of doing what is good. Don’t get discouraged and give up, for we will reap a harvest of blessing at the appropriate time.”

I got tired of doing good. I got discouraged. And I gave up. Now my justification wall is up. Although I know I did NOT have every right to behave so badly, I find myself still clinging to old patterns. “Stinkin’ thinkin’.” Forgive me. Again.

Thank You that I get to come to Your Word. Read. Take counsel. Be blessed.

Verse seven ends with the Truth, “You will always reap what you sow!” Following that principal back to Hosea (10:12) I am reminded, “Plant the good seeds of righteousness, and you will harvest a crop of my love. Plow up the hard ground of your hearts, for now is the time to seek the LORD, that He may come and shower righteousness upon you.”

Yes Father. Please plow up the hard ground of my heart. I can make myself think the right thing. Maybe even do it. But what about feeling it? Oh yeah, feelings aren’t facts. I don’t have to feel it to do it.

That’s where You come in. Changing my heart to make me obedient to Your will. I love You. I long to serve You. And I am still especially stubborn on this.

Somehow or another my feelings [there’s that word again] got hurt and I literally shut down in response to it. Thank You that I get to choose to stay angry, hurt and unforgiving, OR I can show up with You asking that I will forgive and be forgiven.

Yes Father. Do all You must in, with, by, through and for me that I will truly be the woman You have created me to be. Loving. Joyful. Peaceful. Patient. Kind. Good. Faithful. Gentle. And self-controlled.

Thank You Father. I love You. Amen.

(490 words ~ 12:56 p.m.)