my new "f" word

Sunday, December 4, 2011 (7:02 a.m.)

Dearest, Sweetest Jesus,

Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. I indulged again in grudge holding and grievance sharing. One tiny mention of my irritation and the floodgates of snarkiness opened wide. Thank You Jesus for continually reminding me that the only antidote for my use of the “f” word was to change it completely.

Thank You that every single time I started to get worked up again yesterday, You reminded me to take a deep, cleansing breath. Although that did work to calm my words and heart rate, You continued guiding me to forgiveness. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You.

Thank You that even though I gave out far too much detail and told the story of my irritation way too many times, You reminded me that it wasn’t in the venting of it that I was going to find peace. It’s only through forgiving myself and others that I get to experience the fruit of Your Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23).

Thank You Jesus for reminding me of the mighty power of this particular “f” word. Thank You for reminding me that meanness absolutely does NOT become me. Thank You especially for drawing my attention earlier to the butterfly sticker at the back of my Bible. On further examination just now I noticed the Pokemon caterpillar given to me by a precious kindergartner so many years ago. It’s reminders such as these that melt my heart of stone.

Thank You Jesus. It’s You. Your Word. Your sacrifice. Your teachings that bring me back where I belong. Romans 12:2, “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but be a new and different person with a fresh newness in all you do and think. Then you will learn from your own experience how His ways will really satisfy you.”

Putting my own expectations on others is only going to mess me up. It is a luxury, a guilty pleasure I can no longer afford. ‘Only You are able to take a sinner such as I and transform me so I can at last respond to Your Spirit’ [Illustrated Bible Handbook]. Ezekiel 36:25-27, “Then it will be as though I had sprinkled clean water on you, for you will be clean – your filthiness will be washed away, your idol worship gone. And I will give you a new heart – I will give you new and right desires – and put a new spirit within you. I will take out your stony hearts of sin and give you new hearts of love. And I will put my Spirit within you so that you will obey my laws and do whatever I command.”

Only You can change my heart Dearest Jesus. And see there? Just like that. I’m singing again! ♫Only You can make this world seem right Only You can make the darkness bright Only You and You alone can thrill me like You do and fill my heart with love for only You. Only You can make this change in me For it’s true You are my Destiny When You hold my hand, I understand the ‘magic’ [mercy and grace in Christ J] that You do You’re my Dream come true, my One and Only You♫

Ah, yes. Ah, yes Dearest, Sweetest Jesus. Thank You for ALL the work You keep doing in me. I love You so very much. Thank You for loving me ESPECIALLY when I am the most unlovable! Continue teaching, guiding, leading and forgiving me. Thank You. Amen.

(588 words ~ 8:12 a.m.)