weird

Thursday, February 10, 2011 (8:04 a.m.)

Holy God,

I come to You this morning confessing weird. Strange. Odd. Quirky. Eccentric. Freakish. Unique… Not the way most people would want to describe themselves. But it fits. So very comfortably.

Speak to me this morning Lord. Talk to me about embracing my inner weirdness. I am NOT like other people. The way I think. The things that excite me. I’m different. W-A-Y different!

Where is this observation coming from? I have a project to do today. A project I took on as I believe was led by You. A project with which I truly am very pleased. Sending Valentine greetings as thank you notes for my mom’s condolences from last year. It’s weird Lord. The words morbid and gross have been used to describe the idea. Yet here I sit looking at the ones I created yesterday and I am pleased. Filled with self-doubt. And pleased!

Lord. I am asking You for the courage to just be me. The me You created me to be. I want to look to YOU for acceptance and approval. NOT to other people like I have through the bulk of my life. I love You. You created me. Weird as I can possibly be. Tap dancing, piano playing, puzzle solving, water loving me. I have fun being me. I enjoy my own company. I smile and laugh a lot on my own. It’s the social interactions where I doubt myself the most. The wondering if others think I am as weird as I know I am. Give me courage Lord. Courage to just go with my gut. Courage to send these notes with all the love and honor with which they were made. Courage to honor a woman who truly was “so loved” that no other day would be better to send out remembrances of her than one of her most favorite holidays.

And as boldly as I speak to You here Lord, the prayer of my heart still remains one of acceptance. I don’t want Mom’s friends and loved ones to think of me as weird as I think of myself.

I love You Lord. Empower me to do the right thing. Give me the words to express our love and thanks and to bypass the weirdness as much as possible. I love You. Thank You. Amen.

(392 words ~ 9:19 a.m.)