pricked

Thursday, February 24, 2011 (8:38 a.m.)

Blessed Lord,

You are good. You are awesome. And I am so completely human. Talk to me about that Lord. Talk to me about how it is that I sit here and praise You and love You and trust You and long to follow You and I start into my regular day and “BAM!” seeds of bitterness and resentment start to take root.

Lord, how I thank You for the work You have been doing in me. I truly am grateful. Yet I must confess, You have a whole lot more to do!

How is it Lord that I can take a perfectly nice conversation, pick out a couple of words that ‘pricked’ me. Oh, and here You are with me in all Your glory!

Thank You Lord! Thank You that You love me so much! You do not leave me alone with my own thoughts and feelings. You infuse Yourself right into the middle of them. Thank You Lord.

I noticed right when my feelings got hurt last night. I saw myself shutdown. Withdraw. Grow sullen and bitter. I didn’t want to. I was aware, yet powerless to ‘fix’ my feelings. Confessing the hurt got it out in the open, but I still held tightly to what I saw as a disservice to me.

A scheduled time for fun and exercise changed my whole outlook. But this morning the tendency to ruminate the situation came back again.

Thank You that on my very first cry to You, You provided Psalm 73 to help me once again see myself in the context of human nature. The Bible Handbook describes this particular Psalm thusly, “This unique psalm traces the experience of the poet, who feels envy at the prosperity of the wicked (1-12) and frustration at his own lot (13-16). He finds release by comparing the end of the wicked (18-20) with the blessings of his present and future fellowship with God (21-28).

Ah, ME! Described right here. Envy. Frustration. Comparing. Thank You Lord that I do NOT have to stay there! Thank You that You are always here to guide me back to Your way of living.

Verse 21 (ESV) picks up right where I was, "When my soul was embittered, when I was pricked in heart, (22) I was brutish and ignorant; I was like a beast toward You. (23-24) Nevertheless, I am continually with You; You hold my right hand [no matter how ‘won’t-full’ and obstinate I may be!]. You guide me with Your counsel [thank You VERY much! J], and afterward You will receive me to glory."

Most Dear and Blessed Lord, through the end of the chapter (25-28) I am lifted. Reminded of these verses I have quoted [and sung] before. “♫Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is nothing on earth I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever♫ For behold, those who are far from You perish; You put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to You. But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all Your works.”

Like changing the heart of a stubborn “little girl” who fell back into the trap of acting her shoe-size. Thank You Lord that You are never one to leave us alone, on own, led along by our own tendency toward self-destruction.

You are good. You are awesome. You holy. And I am grateful to having been pricked by Your Holy Spirit. Thank You Lord. I love You. Keep working in me. Amen.

(616 words ~ 9:34 a.m.)