Hosanna!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009 (5:19 a.m.)

♫Holy, Holy, Holy!

♫Lord God Almighty! Early in the morning our song shall rise to Thee♫ Lord, thank You that I get to think of You first thing upon awakening. Thank You that even before being fully awake thoughts of You swirl around inside me trying to form themselves.

Lord, You are awesome. Wonderful. Powerful. Mighty. Holy. You are these things and I am not. I am made in Your image and I depend on You. Yet I am here to confess to You right now that I don’t know how to do just that.

♫Sing Hosanna…♫

(8:06 a.m.)

Oh Most Holy Father, I don’t even know how to come back from that!

One minute I was confessing my ignorance of depending on You and the very next I was singing “Save, I pray” (Psalm 118:25).

Going straight back to sleep on that note, literally, I’ve continued to ♫Sing Hosanna to the King of Kings♫ since.

Lord, is it really that easy? All the ‘i’s I’ve attempted to dot and ‘t’s I’ve tried to cross through the years don’t get me any closer to following You do they? Looking back at all the rules I’ve tried to follow and expectations I’ve had of the ultimate end result of my own attempts at ‘goodness’, I need Your help Lord. I don’t know how to live in and through You. I try. I attempt. I don’t seem to rest in You (Psalm 37:7). I don’t think I really know how.

I read Your Word. I start to get excited. I think, “Yes! This is it” and then I doubt and fret and stew, redoubling my efforts toward attaining Your goodness, grace and mercy. Hmm, oxymoronic at its worse!

Lord, I love You. I AM grateful for Your blessings, for Your glimpses and yes Lord, even for the challenges that are helping me grow. “Save, I pray” Dear Lord. I love You. Amen.

(326 words ~ 10:21 a.m.)