fear (again)

Friday, June 12, 2009 (5:15 p.m.)

Blessed Lord,

I’ve put it off again; my time alone with You today. It should have happened hours ago but I thought I could squeak by with an, “I’m too tired” approach. NOT! Bad idea!

First off, I missed being with You! And next, I’ve been becoming more and more sluggish as the day has worn on. Insecurities have cropped up. Thoughts of negativity and harsh judgments keep coming back to mind.

Thank You that You want more for me than this! Thank You that although You weren’t my first place to visit today, You are here now when I have finally gotten around to it. Thank You for Your patience with me. Thank You for Your love and Your goodness and Your grace. Thank You that these things are not based on my comings or goings or on my decision-making processes. No. They come from You being a good and faithful God. Your love (joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control Galatians 5:22,23a) comes to us through your Holy Spirit because You alone are good. You alone art God (Deuteronomy 6:4).

Lord, I’m asking You to forgive this very first ‘blog’ attempt I am making. I don’t know for sure that it’s even something that You would have me do. Guide and direct me. Let me know YOUR desire in this because I can tell You straight out that my own first reaction is fear (and we both know how easily I can get sidelined by that).

I love You Lord. I want to know You more, serve You better. Lead me that I will follow. Guide me so I will know Your will in this. Be with us as we interact as a family tonight. Provide all that we need to enjoy one another and to glorify You in the process. I truly do love You Lord. Thank You for such an honor of being Your child. Let me not take it for granted, as I am so prone to do. Keep working in me. Continue stretching me. Thank You for the privilege of being loved by You. I am not worthy, but You are and I am made in Your image so I’m going to practice trusting You and moving ahead one baby step at a time. Thank You for loving me so much, as only You can! I love You. Amen.

(404 words ~ 5:57 p.m.)