Stubborn!

Thursday, June 25, 2009 (6:38 a.m.)

Gracious God,

Here I am. Having made some mountains out of molehills yesterday, here I am asking You Lord to help me do things differently. Sure I could have come to You with this sooner, while it was all happening. But I knew I’d have to listen and learn from You if I did.

I wasn’t ready for that Lord. Nope. I was stubborn. Mule-headed kind of stubborn! And even in looking up that definition I find that no, I was PIG-headedly stubborn (a much older word with the description of being “stupidly stubborn”). Yep! Stupidly stubborn sums it up very nicely.

Thank You Father that although much time was lost in my refusal to let go of a seeming triviality, much grace was found in the offing. Thank You Lord.

Friday, June 26, 2009 (6:04 a.m.)

Blessed Father,

Here I am with an even greater “Thank You, Lord”. Not only did You allow me to recognize myself as being “stupidly stubborn”, I was also able to confirm how quickly I make assumptions and automatically jump to conclusions. Oh but the even bigger lesson here was how very often in doing that do I make mistakes. Careless mistakes. Potentially life threatening mistakes… Like almost hitting our neighbors in their car blocks away from our homes because I got distracted and concluded it was still safe to proceed through an intersection.

Father God, thank You for Your grace and protection in keeping all of us safe. Thank You also for their collective good natures that would so willingly forgive my having scared them so much.

But even there You helped drive home the importance of my paying attention to detail. Thank You Lord that because of the circumstances leading up to all of the situations these last few days, I get to learn even more about myself. And in the process, continually come back to You - asking for another glimpse of grace.

Thank You Lord that You opened the door for more communication between Terry and I concerning the upcoming New Mexico trip. Through the bitter words, stony silences and hurt feelings there has come deeper understanding, greater concern for one another and far more gentleness. Thank You Lord.

Thank You too for the lessons we get to learn in Your Word regarding our own stubborn ways. Through the ancient prophets Isaiah, Jeremiah, Ezekiel and Hosea, You had much to say to Your people concerning their stubbornness. Lord, thank You for their examples!

My own inclination is to continue plowing my way through things, demanding my own way. Thank You Lord that Your Way is better, brighter, easier. And with all that said, [as silly as it sounds] I have another seemingly trivial situation before me today. Having jumped to another inaccurate conclusion, I find myself solely in charge of the surprise birthday celebration for my mom and her forty years younger granddaughter we are taking to Disneyland this afternoon. I haven’t done this on my own before Lord. And I confess to feeling especially daunted by the whole thing.

So rather than stick to by own stubborn ploys of the past [pouting, pleading, attempting to manipulate] I am instead coming straight to You asking Your will be done throughout the entire process. From beginning to end Lord, You be glorified. We planned this trip to honor and celebrate my mom’s 80^th birthday, as well as my niece’s 40^th. That hasn’t changed. Let it be even more than what I could possibly make it. I confess to being afraid of all the ‘what if’ variables. I want instead to live and walk in the mighty power of Your strength.

Thank You for the powerful work You have done in changing my stubborn nature these last few days. Continue having Your way with me Lord. I like me better when I let You lead. Yes Lord, “You lead, I’ll follow”! I love You! Thank You. Amen.

(658 words ~ 7:07 a.m.)