Thank You!

Monday, May 11, 2020 (5:45 a.m.)

Holy God,

Thank You! I was planning on talking to You about having used the word sad yesterday in describing myself. I didn’t feel good about it. A little guilty and ashamed really.

And now? I’m smiling. In a peaceful kind of way. Thank You Lord.

As always, Your Word has much to say on the subject. Thank You!

Yes. Thank You Father.

Once again, Your Truth changed my thought pattern. I was all set on berating myself for having owned up to how I was truly feeling. The example given in Ecclesiastes 7:3 changed my thinking.

“Crying is better than laughing. It blotches the face but it scours the heart.” Amen to that Dearest Lord. Truly. Amen to that!

Yes. Amen to truth telling.

Holy God, I am confessing to You that I have been hedging around the fact that I miss so many of the things that the current Corona crisis has changed for all of us. Rather than confronting and naming the sadness, I have attempted brave-facing it away.

“Bad idea.” Even that [When A Man Loves A Woman movie excerpt] attempt at humor prompts me to wonder. Am I judging myself harshly?

So… here I am. Attempting something different. Honesty. No holding back. Giving it all to You Blessed God. Thank You for this privilege.

As a very young girl I went away to summer camp. That very first letter from home remains engraved deeply in my mind. Details of how missed I was. And all the events taking place while I was gone.

Father, yesterday I realized how much I am still affected by that letter. I don’t tell people that I miss them. Even when I do. Desperately.

Instead, I “act as if.” Behaving as though any problem is not important or doesn’t bother me. Working really hard to “spin” things. Casting them in a positive light.

Here I am asking You Lord, use me exactly as You designed me. Teach me Your Truth. What You would have me genuinely share with others.

I can go so far as to confess having prided myself for so long in working to make things seem better than they are. Let’s do away with that shall we Lord?

You, Yourself know the woman You would have me be. The one who loves You with all her heart, soul, mind and strength (Mark 12:30) and her neighbor as herself (v. 31). Make me so Blessed God.

Do all You must to take away the falsehoods that surround me and keep me bound. Clothe me in strength and dignity, able to laugh with no fear of the future (Proverbs 31:25). While at the very same time being willing to cry that my heart would be scoured (Ecclesiastes 7:3). Made better. Glad. Happy. Growing in wisdom. Improved.

I’m asking You Father, empower, enable, instill in me the proficiency to live Your Truth. I want very much to resemble the Proverbs 31 woman. Especially verse 26 at this moment. “When she speaks, her words are wise, and kindness is the rule for everything she says.”

Do NOT let me cut corners! I don’t want to skimp on Your Truth. When I’m feeling sad, let me say so. No holds barred. Living Your Word as I go. “Speaking truly, dealing truly, living truly” (Ephesians 4:15).

Do for me all that I am unable to do for myself. Thank You Father. Yes. Thank You!

I love You, Lord. And I ask You all this in Your Son’s most precious name. Do all You must. Thank You. Amen.

(607 words ~ 7:32 a.m.)