unfailing love

Wednesday, October 17, 2018 (6:46 a.m.)

Holy God,

I’m here because I think I’m supposed to be. Not yet that I want to. I’m asking You to change my attitude. It’s been pretty stinky for days.

There are things not to my liking and I’ve yet to accept or work to change them. Hmm. Deep breath. Let me begin again.

Good morning. I love You. Thank You. Forgive my grumps and groans.

You are good. Your are worthy. I have been withdrawing. Rather absent. Making every effort to insulate and protect myself. Forgive me Father.

I know better. We’ve been down this road so many times before.

Self doubt. Disappointment. Frustration. Irritation. Just to name a few. Let me put my focus over on to You instead.

Another deep breath. The beginning of a smile. And a sigh of hopefulness. Thank You Father.

I confess to holding a grudge. Against You. Yes Holy God. All the whining. And avoiding. It all comes back to me blaming You. Forgive me Father.

You are mighty. Majestic. Powerful. Holy. Merciful.

I fell back into comparing myself with others. Feeling less than. Not worthy. And with that I blamed and ignored You.

Again I say forgive me. Forgive my annoyance. My resistance. My reluctance. I truly have been offering You half measures. Left overs.

I read Your Word. Start to get excited. Believe what is written. And then fizzle out. I need You Father. I am floundering. Definitely not standing strong.

So for now I turn again to Psalm 42:5; 11. “Why am I discouraged? Why so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise Him again - my Savior and my God!”

And here is that nudge toward hopefulness. Verse 8a, “Through each day the LORD pours His unfailing love upon me”. Yes! Your love is unfailing. Mine is imperfect. 

Do all You must in helping me to ‘through each night sing Your songs, praying to You who gives me life’ (8b). It is in Your unfailing love that I find hope.

Circumstances may disappoint and discourage. YOU do not. Thank You Father. Forgive my unwillingness to trust and hope in You when things are not to my liking. I DO love You. And I desperately want to fully esteem and revere You as You so rightly deserve.

Do all You must. I need You. I want You. And I put my hope in Your unfailing love. Thank You Father. I love You. Amen.

(415 words ~ 9:19 a.m.)