bitterness

Monday, October 28, 2013 (5:27 a.m.)

Good Morning Blessed Father,

It's early. And rather fall-like. I have nothing new to report. Well, except You saved us from ourselves again. Thank You for that.

We had a tremendously productive day around here yesterday. Time was used wisely. Decisions were made. More stuff gotten rid of. We truly were on top of our game. And then a snide comment went sideways.

Hmm. Thinking back about the evening, there was a disappointment that wasn't readily addressed. Just kind of glossed over. Thank You Father for bringing it back to my attention now.

Thank You for the work You continue doing in us. Thank You for the ability to practice better communication skills. To be our ages and barely learning them now is somewhat disheartening, yet “better late than never” right?

Is that even true? Hmm. Talk with me here this morning.

(6:24 a.m.)

Okay. Starting Over. I just recognized a degree of bitterness taking root. I'm asking You to pull it out Dearest Father. Yes. Pull it out and let us look at it together.

Father, how I thank You that I even get to bring negative things to You. Your Word (The Life Recovery Bible) even says so. The comment for Job 10:1-22 says that we are often taught that depression is a 'negative' emotion. That if we were to have sufficient faith, we wouldn't need to be depressed. “Job's account gives us an honest account of one man's overwhelming grief. When we feel depressed, it is healthy to explore and express the emotions locked up inside us – especially the 'negative' ones. By expressing them, we are released from their devastating effects.”

Thank You Father! Thank You that we get to be honest with You. Thank You that in directing our thoughts toward You subtle changes occur enabling 'positive' growth to take place. “A critical step in healing is to address our helpless cries to God. He does not despise our grief; He welcomes its expressions.”

Wow! How truly an awesome God You are. In bringing my desire to not let bitterness take hold I get a reminder of A Call to Listen to God.

Hebrews 12:14-15, “Try to stay out of all quarrels, and seek to live a clean and holy life, for one who is not holy will not see the Lord. Look after each other so that not one of you will fail to find God's best blessings. Watch out that no bitterness takes root among you, for as it springs up it causes deep trouble, hurting many in their spiritual lives.”

I don't want to hurt others Father. I don't want to hurt You either. Do Your work in me that I will instead truly “rejoice and be glad”. Let me practice not being mad, but glad about so many things You have brought into our lives.

In all that I have said to You this far I have 'heard' Charlie Brown's teacher saying, “Mwah, mwah, mwah...”

(7:59 a.m.)

And all that said to bring me over to Psalm 51. “O loving and kind God have mercy. Have pity upon me and take away my transgressions. Oh, wash me, cleanse me from this guilt. Let me be pure again... Sprinkle me with the cleansing blood and I shall be clean again. Wash me and I shall be whiter than snow... Create in me a new, clean heart, O God, filled with clean thoughts and right desires” (vs.1, 2, 7, 10).

The further I go here Dearest Father, the deeper I see other bitternesses as well. Accept my heartfelt song to You as I prepare to leave this time alone with You. ♫Change my heart, O God, Make it ever true. Change my heart, O God, May I be like You. You are the Potter, I am the clay; Mold me and make me, This is what I pray. Change my heart, O God, Make it ever true. Change my heart, O God, May I be like You♫

I love You Father. It IS like You I long to be. Forgive and remove the bitterness. I love You. Thank You. Amen.

(693 words ~ 8:09 a.m.)