"won't" full

Monday, February 4, 2013 (6:40 a.m.)

Holy Father God,

Thank You! Thank You that we get to bring everything to You in prayer. Thank You that even in the midst of my feeling especially “won't” full, You still speak to me.

Father, I give you my heart. My childish, stubborn heart. I have been digging my heels in for several weeks now. Refusing to do the things I know to be better choices for me. I feel lost. Unwilling.

I glance at Your Word. Spend time pouring over sections. Truly believe what I am reading. And then go off on my own. Grumbling.

Thank You that You love me in spite of myself. Thank You that in the early morning hours You still provide timeless hymns to comfort my stubborn soul. This morning I again thought the first word was 'blessed'. Unsuccessful in my initial search, I once more became aware that it is 'fairest' ♫Lord Jesus, Ruler of all nature...♫

I get to look these things up. I have ready access to lyrics and Scriptures and still I behave obstinately. You talk to me. I become excited about getting onboard and going with You in Your direction. Then something distracts me and off I go on my own again.

♫Fair is the sunshine; Fairer still the moonlight And all the twinkling starry host. Jesus shines brighter, Jesus shines purer Than all the angels heav'n can boast.♫

If I truly believe this, which I do! Why do my actions not represent my belief? Why do I continue digging in my heels, refusing to budge?

Prior to admitting my current state, You directed my search this morning to 1Corinthians 13:11-13. Again I thank You for not leaving me alone in this.

“When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things” (v. 11 NLT). Father God, I confess. I'm still in the process of trying to do this.

The Message tells us in verse 12, “We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowng Him directly just as He knows us!”

Father, how I thank You that You never turn from us in disgust. Thank You that because of Your great love for each of us, I get to experience the “three things that [will] last forever - faith, hope, and love – and the greatest of these is love” (v. 13 NLT).

Work in me this day to accomplish that which will bring You lasting glory. Father, I DO love You with all my heart, soul, mind and strength (Mark 12:30). Let me represent Your Truth well this day. I don't want to continue being selfish and self-serving. I want to serve You. Well!

Thank You for loving me ♫Fairest Lord Jesus♫. Thank You for blessing me and keeping me (Numbers 6:24-26). Work in and through me to Your ultimate good. I love You. I thank You. I praise You. Amen.

(533 words ~ 8:21 a.m.)