useful

Wednesday, January 23, 2013 (7:30 a.m.)

Beloved Father God,

You bless us so big! This morning it was with the most spectacular sunrise I can remember seeing. Yesterday it was with the ability to be useful.

Now there's a word. And a desire! Blessed Father, I absolutely desire to be useful. To You and to others. Will You talk with me about this?

I'm going to confess to You most Awesome God and Father, I've come again to looking at myself quite nonobjectively. I've fallen back into the habit of being extremely harsh and critical when I consider my own attributes. Or as seen in this present case, the lack there of.

I KNOW the things I'm supposed to be doing for proper self care and I am purposely avoiding them. Take this time here with You, I came so close to not even showing up.

Thank You Father that while I'm aware of my faults and as of yet my unwillingness to attempt any changes, I still get to come here before You exactly as I am. I get to be honest with You. Telling You that I want to make better choices. And confessing that I just don't want to have to work very hard at them. How's that for upfront? How about this? I feel fraudulent!

I want to do just enough to keep on this side of having anybody think there's something wrong. I have great ideas and very little follow through. I keep resorting to stubbornness. And once again I relate so strongly with Paul's words to the church of Rome.

Romans 7:14-25. The Struggle Within. The Life Recovery Bible comments, “In these verses, Paul described a struggle all of us can identify with. We long to do what is good, healthy, and right, but we end up doing the same old destructive things... it is part of being human.”

Father God, how I thank You that I am not left here to my own destructive thoughts and choices. You have always known me (Psalm 139). None of this is the least bit surprising to You.

Back to the commentary mentioned above. “For this reason, we need not allow this struggle to discourage us. Instead, we can use our failure to inspire a new moral inventory and then get on with recovery once again. In time, we will discover that our failures become less frequent as God begins to transform our life.”

The fact that I am here with You and not running off trying to hide somewhere is evidence of Your work in transforming my life. Blessed Father, I truly long to be useful for Your Kingdom's good. Paul's letter to encourage Titus to be faithful in applying Your grace in various circumstances keeps encouraging me this morning.

“For the free gift of eternal salvation is now being offered to everyone; and along with this gift comes the realization that God wants us to turn from godless living and sinful pleasures and to live good, God-fearing lives day after day” (Titus 2:11-12).

Here I confess to You what I've been dancing around all morning long. I have fallen back into the habit of mindless, random eating. I admit that I don't even want to have to stop. I AM powerless over the pull food has on me. I am absolutely unable to manage healthier choices on my own. I KNOW You can restore me to sanity. I turn my will and and my life over to Your care.

Father thank You. Thank You for Your willingness to love me expecially when I am unable, or unwilling to love myself.

Further on in Titus (3) again I am reminded of the importance of Doing Helpful Things. Thank You!

Verse three through seven, “We used to be stupid, disobedient and foolish, as well as slaves to all sorts of desires and pleasures. We were evil and jealous. Everyone hated us and we hated everyone. God our Savior showed us how good and kind He is. He saved us because of His mercy, and not because of any good things that we have done. God washed us by the power of the Holy Spirit. He gave us new birth and a fresh beginning. God sent Jesus Christ our Savior to give us His Spirit. Jesus treated us much better than we deserve. He made us acceptable to God and gave us the hope of eternal life.”

This is Truth with which I am far too careless! Forgive me Father. Instill in me Your power to truly be Your “good and faithful servant” (Luke 19:11-27).

I love You so very much. I honestly am so very grateful. Empower me to live every single moment reflecting this.

Titus 3:14 expresses my humble request to You this day. “Our people should learn to spend their time doing something useful and worthwhile.” My heart to Your ears Blessed Father! Thank You. Amen.

(822 words ~ 9:26 a.m.)