another snag

Monday, October 29, 2012 (7:15 a.m.)

Faithful, Loving Father,

Thank You! We hit another snag around here yesterday. Assumptions were made. Disappointments took root. But You Dear Father, are teaching us not to withhold Your love. It's not easy. It's quite different than we are used to. Oh, but how I thank You.

Your ways are NOT our ways (Isaiah 55:8) nor Your thoughts our thoughts. THANK YOU for that! Thank You that You know EXACTLY what is best for each of us in every single situation.

Thank You Blessed Father for sending Your Beloved Son to teach us about loving You as You so rightly deserve. My natural defense yesterday was to withdraw. The wall went up and only general niceties were offered in exchange for each question asked. It was all very civil and superficial.

Thank You Loving God that You would have none of the pretense. Thank You that Your Word is alive (Hebrews 4:12) and kept reminding me of the need to forgive and be forgiven. Thank You for the mistakes I continue making which allow me to turn again and again to You. Asking, seeking, knocking (Matthew 7:7).

Thank You for the chance to wake up singing one chorus to You (♫I like it, I like it♫) that didn't seem quite as perfect once I looked up the lyrics. Thank You that the whole song changed without my even noticing to ♫I have decided to follow Jesus... No turning back, no turning back♫

Thank You Loving Father, Gracious Jesus and Powerful Holy Spirit. It is the whole of You Three that I ask into me this day. Go before me. Above me. Beside, beneath and within me that I may serve You as You wish. Thank You for Your more than generous offer to be loved by You that I would in turn share Your perfect love with others.

Thank You so very much. I love You and am so incredibly grateful. Amen.

(328 words ~ 7:49 a.m.)  

the struggle continues

Sunday, October 28, 2012 (7:35 a.m.)

Amazing God of Glory,

It's taken almost an hour for me to remember how we were going to start our time together. Further evidence that I am still struggling with the idea of to Whom do I address my prayers. It's such a huge concept for me. Nothing simple about it. Is this a complication I'm creating for myself? Or a stumbling block set up by an outside entity attempting to keep me away from You?

As long as it's taken for me to get more accustomed to saying the name “Jesus”, returning to using “Father God” seems like I'm taking a giant step backward.

(11:33 a.m.)

Regardless, here I am, practically screaming, “Father God, hear my prayer”. You, the Mighty Godhead, Three-in-One helped me perfectly yesterday with the ability to let go of more than a grocery sized bag of items. A seemingly small start, but such a big beginning in my book.

Yet here I sit in near convulsive sobs as I just caught a glimpse of my dad's very distinctive hand writing. Paper work that is nearly 30 years old and should have been destroyed decades ago. Father God, this is the perfect example of how easily I am brought to the end of myself.

The contents of an envelope addressed in childlike scrawl from a youngest brother to his elder brings back many of the things I didn't know about my dad, yet somehow admired in him. The care he took of my developmentally delayed uncle has come crashing in. Reminding me once again how unprepared I am to go through this letting go process.

But You alone art God! And I am to love YOU with all of my heart and soul and mind and strength and my neighbors as myself (Mark 12:29-31). This I know to be true. Stuff is just stuff. And reminders are reminders.

I can remember a flawed man who truly loved his family but didn't seem to know You. And I can cry and carry on but no matter how tightly I hold on to any of these things, he's not coming back. Jesus is! THAT's where the focus has to be. Living my life for the One who beat death.

I can't possibly do any of this on my own. I am desperate for the power of the Holy Spirit. So, as I continue my struggle with how to begin and direct my prayers I am going to continue them none the less.

Thank You Father. Thank You Jesus. Thank You Holy Spirit. As I trust You to guide and direct me through all of this, I am back to singing the hymn that started in me over five hours ago.

♫All hail the pow'r of Jesus' name Let angels prostrate fall; Bring forth the royal diadem [jeweled crown or headband worn as a symbol of sovereignty] And crown Him Lord of all...♫

In doing so, another song has begun as a result. ♫There is pow'r, pow'r, wonder working pow'r In the blood of the Lamb. There is pow'r, pow'r, wonder working pow'r In the precious blood of the Lamb♫

Thank You Jesus for reminding me that there is absolutely nothing more powerful than Your name and Your blood. Thank You for Your obedience and Your sacrifice.

Thank You Father for reminding me that 'Your power shows up best in weak people' (2 Corinthians 12:9). As I turned in Your Word to include myself into the blessing with which Paul ended his letter to the people of Corinth, instead I am asking to be included.

“The amazing grace of the Master, Jesus Christ, the extravagant love of God, the intimate friendship of the Holy Spirit, be with all of you” (2 Corinthians 13:14).

Thank You Father. Thank You Son. Thank You Holy Ghost. I love You. Amen.

(643 words ~  1:21 p.m.)

quickly

Saturday, October 27, 2012 (8:43 a.m.)

Blessed Lord,

I'm here again really quickly asking You to truly work in opening my hands to giving away things we definitely do not need. It's a habit. Not a good one. “We might use this someday.” “I still like it.” “Look how cute.” “It reminds me of...” All of these statements keep me from giving. Work in me. Do in and through and for and with me that which I absolutely am unable to do in and through and for and with myself. Please God. I may be asking quickly but I am needing deeply. Thank You that I get to call upon You for every single situation that arises. Thank You for Your mercies and Your grace. Teach and guide me this day I pray. Thank You. I love You. Amen.

(139 words ~ 8:53 a.m.)

I wonder

Saturday, October 27, 2012 (6:34 a.m.)

Loving Father,

(7:15 a.m.)

I'm still trying to get started here. I keep wondering. Why is it that I cannot shake the song that came to mind so clearly over an hour ago.

It took awhile. I wasn't at all sure what it was. And then it seemed to make perfect sense. Until I got here and then it turned back into a question mark.

♫Oh yes I wonder what she's doing tonight Oh oh I wonder what she's doing tonight♫ It starts out talking about love then friendship and doubt and leaving and spite and again wonder. And that's exactly where I am still. Wondering.

Triune God, I thought for sure I knew where we were going together this morning. I was planning to thank You for Your consistent comfort to me throughout the night. Every time I awoke from one dream or another it seemed we had this little bit of time together. Then right before fully waking up the song started. And right now I fully confess I DO wonder what You want me to do with it!

I've tried searching Your Word. I've attempted ignoring it. Now I'm just putting it out here to You, where in Your Word do You want me?

Is it Psalm 42? Am I stretching this section to fit myself? You tell me Father. The Message uses the phrase “I wonder” in verse two, right after “I want to drink God, deep draughts of God. I'm thirsty for God alive.” Isn't that the Truth! “I wonder, 'Will I ever make it – arrive and drink in God's presence?'” (Psalm 42:2b).

The psalmist goes back and forth between hope and discouragement throughout this psalm. How grateful I am that verse eight so resembles the time we had together last night, “Yet day by day the Lord pours out His steadfast love upon me, and through the night I sing His songs and pray to God who gives me life.”

The last verse of this psalm is where the song changes. No longer am I singing ♫I wonder♫ It's been replaced because of Your Truth. Psalm 42:11, “But, O my soul, don't be discouraged. Don't be upset. Expect God to act! For I know that I shall again have plenty of reason to praise Him for all He will do. He is my help! He is my God!”

And the new song? It's one I've been referencing all week long without knowing it's name. ♫You Never Let Go♫ Starting with the idea of walking through the valley of the shadow of death and Your love casting out fear, it builds steadily to the Truth we can stand on.

♫Yes, I can see a light that is coming For the heart that holds on And there will be an end to these troubles But until that day comes Still I will praise You, still I will praise You♫ And why is that?

♫So strong So wise So loving Lord Oh no, You never let go Through the calm and through the storm Oh no, You never let go In every high and every low Oh no, You never let go Lord, You never let go of me♫

Thank You Loving Father. Thank You Faithful Son. Thank You powerful Holy Spirit. Thank You that You can once again change my wonder to Your Truth.

And now a request. Things I planned to do yesterday didn't get done. I am asking Your help, Your guidance, Your prioritizing of the time it will take. Work in and through me. Enable and empower me even to discard some things that we truly no longer need. That in itself would definitely show You at work.

Thank You God. All Three of You in One. I love You and I absolutely want to serve You well. Thank You. Amen.

(648 words ~ 8:34 a.m.)

to Whom do we pray?

Friday, October 26, 2012 (6:57 a.m.)

Blessed Father, Beloved Son, Powerful Holy Spirit,

Forty-five minutes into our time together and I'm still trying to decide how to address my prayers to You. Hearing yesterday and reading just a little bit of a book entitled Forgotten God: Reversing Our Tragic Neglect of the Holy Spirit I truly didn't know how to begin.

Searching 'to Whom do we pray' the answer that shows up repeatedly is “we pray to God the Father, by the name of Jesus, in the power of the Holy Spirit.” Verses cited in support of this are John 14:13-14, Romans 15:30 and Romans 8:26.

Father, I confess. I feel as though I'm sitting here with a giant question mark over my head. Read this. Search that. Wonder. Think. Confess. Yes, Father. I am confessing the Truth of Romans 8:26 to You right now.

The Message uses these words for this verse, “Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, and aching groans.”

Blessed Father, as I struggle in my approach to You, I ask that You would teach me more of Your desire for me. You created me for a reason. You know the plans You have for me (Jeremiah 29:11).

In looking at Your Word just now I am reminded that it is “through prayer and meditation” that we “improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out” (Step 11 of 12).

Still thumbing through, I come across “A NO-FAIL Recipe” using 2 Peter 1:1-11 as its source. “Do you want more and more of God's kindness and peace? Then learn to know Him better and better. For as you know Him better, He will give you, through His great power, everything you need for living a truly good life: He even shares His own glory and His own goodness with us!” (vs. 2-3)

Blessed Father, Beloved Son, Powerful Holy Spirit imprint Your Truth into every single aspect of my being. I love You so very much and I absolutely want it to be with all of my heart and soul and mind and strength (Mark 12:30). Do in and through me all that I cannot do and be by myself. I love You. I thank You. Amen.

(425 words ~ 8:32 a.m.)

like a glove

Thursday, October 25, 2012 (6:55 a.m.)

Comforting Jesus,

Thank You. It seems like there was quite a bit of dreaming going on much earlier this morning. Lots of details. One actually made me wonder right in the middle why I would dream of those particular people. Thank You that even in the midst of it all I had a very clear sense of You. I was thinking thoughts and wondering wonders, yet still I knew You were near.

Jesus, thank You. The song that began over an hour ago keeps coming back to mind. Is it hokey? Is it Truth? Do I put my focus there on the wonders of it? Or is it just because I heard it again the other night?

May be all of the above. But You know what? It fits. Like a glove! ♫I've got You under my skin. I've got You deep in the heart of me. So deep in my heart that You're really a part of me. I've got You under my skin♫

Yes Jesus. It's true. And I'm grateful. I have no idea where 'fits like a glove' will take us this morning. I'm asking You to lead and guide me exactly where You would have me go with this.

Okay. I'm taking the warm fuzzy. I've read several verses in Job and some in Hebrews but it's Psalm 33 that caused me to stop. And right there 'the song of the day' sang through again.

Let me ask You Precious Jesus, am I singing this song to You? Or are You singing it to me? I'm the one that absolutely ♫tried so hard not to give in. I said to myself: this affair never will go so well. But why should I try to resist when, Jesus, I know so well I've got You under my skin?♫

Thank You Jesus that in all those years I tried ignoring You, You never once gave up on me. When I turned my back and wouldn't listen, You waited for me to come to my senses.

Thank You Jesus that in reading these lyrics once more I recognize a trick of satan and again see Your tremendous love for me. Maybe this song represents a duet for the two of us. You singing this next part. ♫I'd sacrifice anything come what might For the sake of havin' you near. In spite of a warning voice that comes in the night And repeats, repeats in My ear “Don't You know Little Fool, You'll never win? Why not use Your mentality? Come on, step up to reality. But each time I do, just the thought of you makes Me stop before I begin 'Cause I've got you under My skin♫

Jesus, I can never, ever thank You enough for loving me as sacrificially as You do. This complete love of Yours fits. Perfectly. Just like a glove. Thank You Jesus. Thank You for loving me so very much.

Enable, empower, embolden me to use this love of Yours well this day. I love You and long to be a good steward of Your many blessings. Guide me. Teach me. Thank You. Amen.

(523 words ~ 8:20 a.m.)

full mind

 Wednesday, October 24, 2012 (6:46 a.m.)

Thank You Jesus,

You have allowed [or is it arranged?] certain people in my life to have a huge impact on me. Yesterday morning as I used the word mindlessness, I remembered the family I met so many years ago who challenged me to speak more positively. When it came to searching Your Word, I looked up 'mindful' instead.

Jesus, thank You that even in the middle of what seemed an extremely long night of very little sleep You came to mind. And I had rest. And peace. I took the very positive word of yesterday's morning and turned it around. Where I had spent the day in an attempt to be mindful, I was spending much of the night with a very full mind! Thank You.

Thank You that shifting thoughts around is possible and giving them a positive spin helps. Even now. I had come out here with the intent of following up with where I left off yesterday. You would have none of that.

Words wouldn't come as I tried to finish up. The moment I decided to start fresh, with a brand new page, all kinds of praise began. Thank You Jesus. Thank You for memories of this one particular family and my mom's fond appreciation of the good looks and kindness of the dad. All in such a very good way.

Thank You for Your Word. Thank You that yesterday I got to turn to Proverbs 10:23, Romans 11:19-20 and 1 Corinthians 14:13-17 and get my feet just a little bit wet in them. Thank You that perhaps one day we will explore these verses together again.

Thank You especially for right now. I don't have to beat myself up over something I left undone. Or perhaps it was all I needed to do. You know, so I don't necessarily have to. Thank You for that as well!

This morning I get to once again explore 'taking thoughts captive' (2 Corinthians 10:5). Blessed Jesus, how I ask You to continue Your work in me. Keep pulling out the weeds that get in the way of the growth You are truly nurturing in my heart, mind, soul and strength (Mark 12:30). As much as I love You now, I desperately want to love You more. Better. Well!

Thank You for Your love. Thank You for Your grace. Your mercy. Your power and Your strength. Help me use them to glorify and enjoy You this day. I love You. I thank You. Amen.

(422 words ~ 7:44 a.m.)

mindful

Tuesday, October 23, 2012 (7:04 a.m.)

Blessed Friend Jesus,

My mind wanders and then comes back. I search out what I think is a hymnal and it turns out to be the “big book” of Alcoholics Anonymous. How long have these two blue covered books been in each others' places? Thank You for the smile that accompanies another example of my mindlessness.

anchored

Monday, October 22, 2012 (6:56 a.m.)

Blessed Jesus,

Thank You! The more this day unfolds the more of You I experience in it. Thank You. 

Singing ♫I'm alive because I'm alive in You♫ before my eyes were even open this morning is such a wonderful way to start any day. What an absolutely glorious Truth! Thank You Jesus.

Thank You that the next thoughts to come were of my being anchored in You. As I search for Bible verses to support this Truth, I also remember the next song that came was ♫It Is Well With My Soul♫ Jesus, thank You for this glorious, hope-filled, Truthful way to begin the day.

Right now I am reading Acts 27, about Paul's sailing to Rome. It was neither a direct journey nor without incident. How very interesting that as I am reading this particular description of a ship's captain and crew mixed in with a storm at sea and a shipwreck, the song ♫I'm Your Captain/Closer to Home♫ comes to mind.

Jesus, I think. I look. I read. I sing. And here in it all there is the peace that ONLY comes from knowing that You are our True Anchor. 

While teaching Your disciples of the expected work of the Holy Spirit (John 16: 5-16) and the joy that was to come after the heartbreak of Your leaving (vs. 17-24) You prepared them further in verse 33. “I have told you all this so that you will have peace of heart and mind. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows; but cheer up, for I have overcome the world.”

Hallelujah Jesus! There are going to be shipwrecks in our lives. We are going to go off course. And it's not always because we've done anything wrong. Right here in The Life Recovery Bible as I read a footnote for Paul's shipwreck (Acts 27:1-15) I am reminded that 'You know the plan You have for us. It's a plan for good and not for evil. A plan to give us a future and a hope' (Jeremiah 29:11).

“But since Paul knew God wanted him in Rome, he was confident he would eventually get there. Similarly, we can be sure that God wants us to make progress in recovery. Yet, like Paul, we have no control over the route we will take to get there. Our faithfulness does not ensure a life without storms or shipwrecks. Yet God does guarantee that His presence and power will be right there with us and that we will arrive at our destination in the end.”

Jesus, YOU are my Captain! My Rock. My Anchor. And You are ever drawing me ♫Closer to Home♫ Thank You Jesus. What a perfect way to start the day! Help me serve You well in it. Thank You. I love You. Amen.

(465 words ~ 8:19 a.m.)

sidetracked

Sunday, October 21, 2012 (7:55 a.m.)

Where were we Lord?

Before coming out here this morning there was musical inspiration I was going to look up. Then I got sidetracked.

(8:13 a.m.)

And it just happened again. Thank You Jesus that You know me so well and forgive me my failings.

And would You just look at this? We've explored this same verse (Proverbs 4:27) together before. Jesus, thank You. Thank You that every single time I start to beat myself up over what I interpret as a weakness, You show me I am not alone in this.

You were right there with me at the Portland airport security section yesterday when I started to show signs of fear and stress. What normally would have turned me into a quivering mass was immediately changed to a calm, confident belief that I was “just right” in what was taking place. Thank You Jesus.

Resentment and bitterness could very easily have taken over the remainder of our time away. Thank You for Your truly divine intervention on our behalf. “Easy peasy...” just like we hoped the trip would be. Thank You Lord.

As I turn my attention to the start, interim and end of this day I ask You Blessed Jesus to keep my focus on You. My desire is to be a good steward of all the blessings You have afforded us.

The New Living Translation for Proverbs 4:27 tells us, “Don't get sidetracked; keep your feet from following evil.” The Message takes it a little more in depth. Beginning with verse 23, “Keep vigilant watch over your heart; that's where life starts. Don't talk out of both sides of your mouth; avoid careless banter, white lies, and gossip. Keep your eyes straight ahead; ignore all sideshow distractions. Watch your step, and the road will stretch out smooth before you. Look neither right nor left; leave evil in the dust.”

Jesus, I look to YOU to help me here. In and of myself it's all too overwhelming and impossible. With You and Your Holy Spirit I have witnessed great things taking place. All this to take me over to Paul's sharing of this very Truth. “ I can do everything by the power of Christ. He gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13 NIRV).

Jesus, thank You for bringing my sidetracked wanderings back to Your Truth. I love You. Help me serve You well this day. Thank You. Amen.

(407 words ~ 8:49 a.m.)

Friendship

Friday, October 19, 2012 (8:49 a.m.)

Eugene, OR

Awesome FRIEND Jesus,

I came to the book of James (4:4) this morning wanting to learn more about friends and friendship. Instead I am being reminded of the importance of trusting You.

♫What a Friend We Have In Jesus♫ It's SO true! There is so much hope and joy found in loving you. Why is it that I can so easily forget Your Friendship?

I'm reading of the importance of keeping our focus on You (Isaiah 26:7). When challenges beset us our natural response is to put even more time, effort and attention into the problem(s). Again I am reminded that YOU alone are the Way, the Truth and the Life (John 14:6).

Jesus, thank You for Your Friendship. Thank You for Your love. Thank You for Your guidance. Show us today exactly what You would have us see. Teach us to spend our time and energies in ways that are pleasing, affirming and glorifying to You.

Again I use the phrase, "I want to be a good steward" in describing my deepest desire. Especially in the use of Your Friendship. Thank You Jesus. I love You. Amen.

(200 words ~ 9:51 a.m.)

Brother Love

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Portland, OR

Blessed Jesus,

Thank You for the words to a most perfect song to begin this day. This particular day that represents sixty-two years of my big brother's life. Jesus, thank You for him. The things he has taught me. The love he has for others.

Thank You for Your love that has held us together all these years. And thank You for music that fills hearts and souls and reminds us of Your love for each of us.

Silly as it seems it's this song that speaks to me this morning louder than any other. ♫Brothers (halle-hallelujah), I said Brothers (hallelujah) Now you got yourself two good hands (halle-hallelujah) And when your brother is troubled You got to reach out your one hand for him (hallelujah) 'Cause that's what it's there for (halle-hallelujah) And when your heart is troubled You got to reach out your other hand (hallelujah) Reach it out to the Man up there 'Cause that's what He's there for (halle-hallelujah)♫

Taking time just now to watch a clip of Neil Diamond singing this song brings even more meaning and Truth to it. It's a humbling true story of an event he witnessed and brings tears to my eyes and covers me with chills as I continue singing. 

♫Take my hand in Yours, walk with me this day In my heart I know, I will never [even though I too often do!] stray (Halle-halle-halle-halle-halle-halle-halle-halle) Love, Brother Love, say Brother Love's Travelin' Salvation Show Pack up the babies and grab the old ladies, and everyone goes...♫

Jesus, it's Your love that allows me to see my brother through the eyes of such love. Thank You for being our original Brother Love.

Thank You for loving us as perfectly as You do. Empower, embolden, enable us both to share this incredible love with others. It IS in You we are given “the power to live, to move, and to be who we are” (Acts 17:28a). Thank You. We love You. Amen.

(342 words)

"Just Right"

Tuesday, October 16, 2012 (2:55 p.m.)

Lakewood, CA

Just and Righteous Jesus,

How I thank You for this moment of quiet reflection. I may, or may not, have time to be alone with You tomorrow. Thank You for Your Truth that continues to teach me to come away with You while I may. Thank You for opportunity and privilege to practice being Yours. What does this even mean?

You love me. You want the best for me. I don't always know what Your best looks like, but these past many days I've come to use the phrase “Just Right” in describing myself.

Plagued for so long by noting “what's wrong” this has been quite the freeing experience for me.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012 (7:47 a.m.)

Ah, Jesus ~

Thank You. Thank You for renewed hope. Renewed vigor. Interest. Excitement. Inquisitiveness. Curiosity. The desire to learn more.

For right now, this very moment, I ask You to channel all of this delight to Your good. There is a TRUE feeling of AGOG! I am awakening (in more than just my physical state). My spirit is ALIVE, much like Your WORD (Hebrews 4:12) and eager to tell others of Your love and sacrifice.

Father, Son, Holy Spirit, “In the beginning...” (Genesis 1:1) when You said “Let us make a man – someone like ourselves...” (v. 26) I fall into that category. When you 'saw every thing You had made, and beheld, it was very good' (v. 31) I am represented in that as well.

It is from Genesis 2:18 that I take my new answer for how I am. “Then the Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.'” A helper. Companion. Complement. Counterpart. One who is suitable. “Just right”.

Thank You. Praise You. Bless You. I love You. Amen.

(316 words ~ 8:00 a.m.)

another perfect song!

Tuesday, October 16, 2012 (6:34 a.m.)

Another perfect song!

I can't even believe how perfect. It rambled around in my head for awhile much earlier this morning before I remembered listening to it just yesterday. Having heard it so recently I was shocked just now as I read the words.

Blessed Jesus, it's as if it were written specifically for me by You. And while I know this is not true, I am still embracing it as if it were. And in that embrace I say another ever so grateful Thank You!

Thank You Jesus for the Truth of Your love that can carry over into music of our day and give a whole knew perspective of just how much You love each and every one of us.

♫I've tried so hard, my dear, to show

That you're my every dream

Yet you're afraid each thing I do

Is just some evil scheme

A memory from your lonesome past

Keeps us so far apart

Why can't I free your doubtful mind

And melt your cold, cold heart?

Another love before my time

Made your heart sad and blue

And so my heart is paying now

For things I didn't do

In anger, unkind words are said

That make the teardrops start

Why can't I free your doubtful mind

And melt your cold, cold heart?

You'll never know how much it hurts

To see you sit and cry

You know, you need and want my love

Yet you're afraid to try

Why do you run and hide from life?

To try it just ain't smart

Why can't I free your doubtful mind

And melt your cold, cold heart?

There was a time when I believed

That you belonged to me

But now I know your heart is shackled

To a memory

The more I learn to care for you

The more we drift apart

Why can't I free your doubtful mind

And melt your cold, cold heart?♫

The absolute sweetest Truth Dearest Jesus is that You have! The perfect love You have for each of us continues to unshackle and melt my cold, cold heart more and more every single day. Thank You for another perfect song to remind me of Your perfect love!

Thank You Jesus. Help me use Your perfect love exactly as You designed it. Freely. Thank You. I love You. Amen.

(396 words ~ 7:10 a.m.)

"practicing awkward"

Tuesday, October 16, 2012 (5:55 a.m.)

Awesome God and Father,

Blessed Jesus, Comforting Spirit. Thank You! Thank You for the technical problems of yesterday that led to another opportunity to practice 'awkward'!

There were moments of frustration and near harshness in attempts to rectify computer and printer malfunctions. But You were there in the midst. I felt the change inside me. As my own temper began to rise, reminders of the need for honest, open, loving, yielded communication took center stage.

Addressing a time crunch and the desire to be somewhere else changed the whole attitude of several multiple houred phone calls. The Three of You were here in our midst as stiffness gave way to laughter and confusion to clarity.

It was a first! Truly. Why? Because of the work You are doing in each of us. We got to experience "practicing awkward" and be the better for it. As far as I'm concerned my love for making acronyms out of problematic words has scored another out of the park home run [it IS playoff season You know!].

Awkward = always wanting kindness while addressing relational differences. Thank You. You are Who put that so perfectly together for me. I no longer have to fear the awkwardness involved in so many of my relationships with others. I get to practice it. And not be afraid. How cool are You?

Thank You for continuing Your work in me. Keep it coming at just the right pace. You know exactly what my needs are (Matthew 6:8) and You supply every single one of them perfectly.

Continue Your work in me that I will stay the course You have set out for me. I love You so incredibly much and I am truly grateful for the subtleness of the changes You are making in each of us. Thank You Father. Thank You Jesus. Thank You Holy Spirit. I love You. Amen.

(319 words ~ 6:33 a.m.)

technical difficulties

Monday, October 15, 2012

Blessed Jesus,

Thank You! You are so good. So kind. So just. And I am so blessed to get to know You and love You and want to know and love You more.

uncluttered

Sunday, October 14, 2012 (12:24 p.m.)

Blessed Father,

I'm here before You right now a-s-king that it shall be given to me. Seeking that I may find. Knocking that the door be opened unto me (Matthew 7:7).

I have a laundry list of things to do. I don't even know where to begin. Honestly! I have yet to even write anything down because it is all just seems too much.

Because I know You to be a just and righteous God I am asking. Begging. Pleading. Make sense of my insanity. I can take deep breaths and baby steps all day long. But I want to be taking them toward You.

I am asking that You would unclutter my mind that W-E together can unclutter this household and ultimately my life. You alone are God (Isaiah 37:16). You alone know exactly what I need and what it's going to take to get me where You want me to be. I'm looking to You and I am asking... what is the next step YOU would have me take?

I love You Father. I trust You. Please help. Thank You. Amen.

(12:35 p.m.)

thanksgiving and praise

Sunday, October 14, 2012 (6:39 a.m.)

Blessed Jesus,

Thank You! Thank You for love and laughter. Thank You for grins and giggles. Thank You for the fruit of Your Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). Thank You even for sadness and sorrow.

Jesus, thank You for coming so we could have hope. Thank You for Your obedience to Our Father and for Your sacrifice.

As I have searched Your Word, wondering where our focus would be this morning another song started forming in my mind. Just a few words at a time. Thank You for the ability to readily find it.

♫He has made me glad He has made me glad I will rejoice for He has made me glad, glad, glad♫ Jesus, thank You. Thank You that You indeed have made me glad!

♫I will enter His gates with thanksgiving in my heart. I will enter His courts with praise. I will say this is the day that the Lord hath made, I will rejoice for He has made me glad!♫

Jesus, I get to rejoice because You have made me glad. Thank You. Things don't always go my way. Circumstances often aren't what I want or expect. But then You call me to You. You remind me of the Truth of Psalm 100:5. “For the Lord is always good. He is always loving and kind, and His faithfulness goes on and on to each succeeding generation.”

So many things in this world change regularly. Thank You that You are not one of them. Keep me right with You this day. This day that You have made. This day that I again enter Your gates with thanksgiving in my heart and Your courts with praise.

I love You Jesus. Make me worthy of Your love. Your goodness. Your kindness. Your faithfulness. And all the other fruit of Your Spirit. Thank You. I love You. Amen.

(314 words ~ 7:58 a.m.)

not quite

Saturday, October 13, 2012 (8:37 a.m.)

Father, Son, Holy Ghost,

To whom do I address my heart this day? I've been thinking so much of the morning about things not quite being what I expected through the years. Not quite? Who am I kidding! Father, MOST things aren't the way I thought they would be.

Thankfully we have YOU ~ in the form of The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit. “You saw me before I was born and scheduled each day of my life before I began to breathe. Every day was recorded in Your book!” (Psalm 139:16)

(10:57 a.m.)

Two hours and one phone call later and again I'm wondering, what am I not quite getting? I start to feel hopeful and then “BAM!” I'm back to confused. Discontent. Uncomfortable in my own skin...

Then I read the first sentence of a Serenity Prayer Devotional for Psalm 139: 1-16. “Perhaps we spend our energy and time trying to be what someone else wants us to be because we feel that who we are is not enough.” Well, hello!

There once was a time I felt so hopeful. Not only am I not quite there anymore, I am not at all there!

Father! (Son, Holy Spirit) Blessed Three-In-One ~ cover me. Bless me. Remember me. Move me. Change me.

Help me embrace Your Truth. The Truth found in Your Word. TRUTH! All the thoughts that scramble around in my brain are NOT Your Truth.

Your Truth tells me that “You have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit or stand. When far away You know my every thought” (Psalm 139:1-2). I believe this Father.

Because I believe what I WANT to believe, I am asking You Blessed Redeemer, to help me TRUST the Truth found in the next three verses. “You chart the path ahead of me and tell me where to stop and rest. Every moment You know where I am. You know what I am going to say before I even say it. You both precede and follow me and place Your hand of blessing on my head.”

Maybe, just maybe, verse six describes me more than I first thought. “This is too glorious, too wonderful to believe!” And the perfect question to ask here is ~ do I believe it? Honest answer ~ not quite!

You know my mind, my heart, my soul and my strength. You know my thoughts, doubts, questions, hopes, dreams, flaws and failings. You know... Why, may I ask, does that not seem to be enough for me?

I can ask 'til the cows come home. OR I can choose to trust and believe You. And that I do! I choose to believe verse fourteen. “I will praise You for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” I can doubt this or trust it.

In my willingness to trust and believe YOU I so very humbly ask You Blessed Three-In-One to “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test my thoughts. Point out anything You find in me that makes You sad, and lead me along the path of everlasting life” (vs. 23-24).

By so doing, I get to go from not quite to just right. Thank You Father. Thank You Son. Thank You Holy Spirit. I love You. I thank You. Amen.

(559 words ~ 12:37 p.m.)

Deuteronomy 32:11

Friday, October 12, 2012 (7:44 a.m.)

Thank You Jesus,

Thank You! I feel SO much better than I did yesterday. Having no idea what was wrong, thank You for the opportunity and willingness to just lay low all day.

Thank You for the smile inching across my face as I look up the meaning of the idiom 'lay low'. It is in stark contrast to the song with which I awoke. ♫Volare♫ meaning 'to fly'. Talk about going 'from one extreme to another'!

So, with all that said... Jesus, what do You want to talk to me about this morning? Contrasts? Extremes? Words to a song? The meaning behind it?

Translated lyrics speak of a man dreaming of painting his hands and face blue after waking from a dream he's sure will never return. All this is said to have come to the lyricist after drinking too much wine, having nightmares and looking at the copies of two paintings hanging on a wall.

Jesus, You are the Author of creativity. A line like ♫then was suddenly swept up by the wind and started to fly in the infinite sky♫ has me thinking of You. Where in Your Word would You have me looking this morning?

(9:02 a.m.)

I'm so glad I asked. AND that You answered so readily. Deuteronomy 32:11. A verse from Moses' Song. Thank You Jesus. Three different translations. All the same word picture.

The Contemporary English Version (CEV) “The Lord was like an eagle teaching its young to fly, always ready to swoop down and catch them on its back.”

Easy-to-Read Version (ERV) “like an eagle when she makes her young leave the nest to fly. She stays close to them, ready to help. She spreads her wings to catch them when they fall and carries them to a safe place.”

Wycliffe Bible (WYC) “(Like an eagle stirring his young to fly, and flying above them, he spread out his wings, and took them up, and he carried them upon his shoulders.)”

Even here, I take the moment to notice the pronoun differences in the three versions. Its, he, she. All inclusive. Just like You.

Imagine my delight at having a foreign language song with which I am fairly unfamiliar come so alive for me. Oh! And NOW I find the traditional English translation: ♫Volare (to fly) oh, oh Cantare (to sing) oh, oh, oh, oh Let's fly way up to the clouds Away from the maddening crowds We can sing in the glow of a star that I know of Where lovers enjoy peace of mind Let us leave all the confusion and all disillusion behind Just like a bird of a feather, a rainbow together we'll find♫

After reading in Moses' Song I see YOU in this modern day version: ♫Volare oh, oh Cantare oh, oh, oh, oh No wonder my happy heart sings Your love has given me wings♫ Ain't that the Truth!

Thank You Jesus for waking me up with another song that I never would have imagined would again take me so lovingly into Your Word. And just as an added bonus, the comment at the bottom of The Life Recovery Bible reminds us “As we go about the rebuilding process, we need to be assured of God's protection and guidance. These precious verses of Moses' song should offer just the certainty we need. God will protect us as we seek recovery and guide us toward a life filled with joy and freedom.”

Just like the song says, ♫No wonder my happy heart sings YOUR love has given me wings♫ Thank You Jesus. Bless You. Praise You. ♫Volare♫ Amen!

(596 words ~ 9:52 a.m.)

valued

Tuesday, October 9, 2012 (5:52 a.m.)

Blessed Jesus,

This morning the word I have for us to explore is 'valued'. Will You please speak to me about the things we value? Yes, Lord. Speak to me concerning value.

(7:53 a.m.)

Oh and speak to me You did! Thank You Jesus. Thank You that I could go moping around here for days with my head so far away from Your Word and as soon as I ask, You bring me right back in. Thank You Jesus. Thank You.

The word 'valued' took me all over Your Word. Old Testament readings. New Testament verses. Proverbs. All of them giving me hope. Reminding me of the firm foundation we have in You.

I confess to You Sweetest Jesus, I have shunned that firm foundation these past couple of days. My feelings got hurt. Words were misunderstood. I refused to take a chance and expose my already tenuous self to You. How dumb is that!

The One who could help me more than any other thing. The One who will always love me. No matter what. And I chose, again, to try and muscle through on my own. Thank You Jesus that 'Your thoughts are nothing like my thoughts and Your ways are far beyond anything I could imagine' (Isaiah 55:8).

Forgive me my idiocy. You are doing a mighty work in us. You are weeding out old behaviors. Replacing them with new. Keep providing us exactly what we need as we need it. I love You so much. Help me love You better than I do. Continue Your work. Make me pliable. Obedient to Your commands. Remind me of Your Truth and call on my life.

“For my people have done two evil things: They have forsaken me, the Fountain of Life-giving Water; and they have built for themselves broken cisterns that can't hold water!” (Jeremiah 2:13) Guilty!

“Men know how to mine silver and refine gold... But though men can do all these things, they don't know where to find wisdom and understanding... And this is what He says to all mankind: 'Look, to fear the Lord is true wisdom; to forsake evil is real understanding'” (Job 28).

In all my stomping and crying, I refused to turn to You for true wisdom and real understanding. I could have. I even knew I should have. Yet I refused.

Thank You that You did not just leave me alone in my hurt and bitter feelings. Thank You that You continued 'standing at the door, constantly knocking' (Revelation 3:20a) until I was ready, willing and able to once again 'hear You calling and open the door' (b) that You would 'come in and fellowship with me and I with You' (c).

Thank You Jesus for Your never-ending love. The love that is to be valued above all else. Thank You for loving me amidst my stubbornness and pride. Thank You for loving me especially when I am so undeserving of it. Thank You for valuing me far more than I value myself and others. Make me worthy of Your love. Thank You. I love You. Amen.

(524 words ~ 9:55 a.m.)

refreshed

Sunday, October 7, 2012 (7:03 a.m.)

Blessed, Amazing, Incredible Jesus,

Thank You. The other day You refreshed me. You allowed me a completely different vantage point. I saw and thought differently than I ever have before.

I swam again in Your ocean. I steered a boat through a harbor. I watched sea life maneuver themselves in and out of the water. I walked. I shopped. I read. All the while taking in beauty. And then it hit me...

This world is not our home! I've heard and read of the many mansions in Your Father's house (John 14:2) and the people of faith who “agreed that this earth was not their real home” (Acts 11:13). Jesus, this was the first time I truly knew that I am 'not of this world'!

It was one of those “Aha!” moments. All the teachings and learnings through the years came together in an instant of peaceful refreshment.

With all the trips my dear husband plans and we take together, to think of seeing our everyday surroundings through the eyes of a visitor was something new to me. This world is not our home! My mind still boggles over it.

There is so much peace and wonderment as I reflect on what this means. Continue Your work in me that I will come to live each moment as one who is truly just passing through. I want to travel light. Unencumbered by the loads I so readily shoulder without even considering them.

You refreshed me to a degree I have not experienced before. There is new strength to the hope I have in You. Hope for the place You have gone to prepare for me (John 14:3a). Hope for when it is ready and You come again and receive me to Yourself; that where You are, there I may be also (3b).

Jesus, thank You. Enable me to truly discard the things that keep me bound to this world. I love You. Thank You. Amen.

(331 words ~ 11:17 a.m.)

Proverbs

Friday, October 5, 2012 (7:02 a.m.)

Irvine, CA

♫... Jesus …♫

There's a song in my head. Is it ♫Tell Me the Stories of Jesus I love to hear♫ La, la, la, la, la, la la, la...? And me here without a hymnal.

I try to take cues from You. When a song pops into my head, seemingly without provocation, I like to follow to see where it leads. This morning Dearest Jesus, would You have me following words or melodies?

YOU? You'd have me follow You? That definitely makes sense!

So I'm confessing to You Jesus, I feel profoundly lost here this morning. No hymnal. No dictionary. Not my usual concordance. All the comforts that keep me distracted just enough to think I'm really studying Your Word and Your will for me. Tell me Jesus, this morning, right now, what would You have me looking at? To? Up?

So far I've tried provocation, prudence, prudent. And what do they all have in common? PROVERBS! Common sense and Godly wisdom. Yes. I need a truck full please!

Why? To “avoid many common destructive mistakes that flow so naturally from our ignorance, denial and pride” (The Life Recovery Bible Introduction to Proverbs).

“Ignorance, denial and pride? Oh my!” Blessed Jesus, You know me so well! You have me reading Solomon's words, impressing on young people their need “to develop proper priorities, boundaries, and behavior patterns” (TLRB).

And just when I was ready to ask about the word “young”, the sentences that follow answered my unformed query. “However, young people were not Solomon's only concern. His collection of wisdom is invaluable to people of all ages and occupations.” Even King Hezekiah used the wisdom and common sense found in Proverbs in “speaking to issues like honesty, limits, and healthy relationships.”

Are these not EXACTLY the issues we've been working toward dealing with these past many Y-E-A-R-S! Perfect Jesus, thank You! The “precious nuggets of life changing counsel are there for us to discover”!

“All of us, no matter how great our failures or hurts, can proceed far down the path of healing by following the God-given wisdom of Proverbs.”

Why? Because the purpose of this book was to offer that God-given wisdom “for protection against dysfunctional behaviors and ungodly practices.” How? The Protection of Wisdom,“How does a man become wise? The first step is to trust and reverence the Lord! Only fools refuse to be taught. Listen to your father and mother. What you learn from them will stand you in good stead; it will gain many honors” (chapter 1, verses 7-9).

The comment at the bottom of the page? “The purpose for writing down these proverbs was to teach people foundational principles about how to live a good life and how to deal with the various problems they would encounter in life. The first step to attaining this kind of wisdom is the hardest: trusting and showing reverence for God. This means admitting that we need help and then allowing God to guide and care for us.”

This is all so perfectly in tune with what's currently going on in our relationships. Jesus, thank You for guiding me to this book. Thank You for the titles found under the RECOVERY THEMES: “The Importance of Common Sense”, “The Power of Priorities”, “The Role of Boundaries” and “Building Healthy Relationships”.

Blessed, Blessed Jesus ~ I am so tired of working so hard and making SO many mistakes. How perfect of You to bring me to reading the preface to “the greatest book on recovery (The Bible) ever written.” To “watch as God sets out a plan [that would be YOU] for recovery of His broken people [this would be me] and creation.”

This particular preface encourages us to “set out together on a journey toward healing and newfound strength. Not strength found within ourselves, but strength found through trusting God and allowing Him to direct our decisions and plans.”

Thank You Jesus! All this because I asked. Thank You. I love You. Amen.

(675 words ~ 8:30 a.m.)

contentment

Thursday, October 4, 2012 (11:54 a.m.)

Loving Lord Jesus,

Thank You. You are helping me get to know myself again. Looking to You, then back at myself, over at various circumstances and then back to You... what a concept.

Situations aren't perfect. Things still leak. Words get misconstrued. Feelings hurt. But here I am, one more time, content. Content like the apostle Paul wrote about in his letter to the Philippians (4:12-13).

Jesus, thank You. Thank You for this true peace that is absolutely passing all understanding (v. 7). It's You doing the work in me that is allowing me to experience contentment. Ease. Comfort. Well-being. Peace. Serenity. Tranquility. And this newest word to me, equanimity: mental calmness, composure, evenness of temper, equal mindedness.

Jesus, I have prayed so hard for so long and it's only when I again released it all to You that I have this true sense of being supremely guarded by You.

I've fought. I've tried. I've calculated. I've struggled. And when I finally gave everything up, surrendering all to You I've finally found rest. Peace. Contentment. Thank You Jesus.

I am asking You to continue working in and through me. Keep removing the defects of my character that don't serve You well. You are so good. So kind. So loving. I want to be more and more like You than anyone or anything else.

“Jesus.” What a powerful, wonderful name. Thank You Jesus for coming to do for us all that we are unable to do for ourselves. Thank You that You are perfect so we no longer have to try to be. Thank You for Your power of contentment in every situation. Remind me as often as necessary to keep all of my heart, soul, mind and strength focused on You. I love You so very much. Thank You for Your love. Your work. Your sacrifice. Use me as You wish. I love You. Amen.

(322 words ~ 12:43 p.m.)

"spend time together"

Wednesday, October 3, 2012 (6:14 a.m.)

Blessed Jesus,

I want to follow You. Get to know You. Recognize You when You call. Just as I was going to ask how I do that, “spend time together” came to mind.

(11:55 a.m.)

Like right now. Just before lunch. After having completed a few needed tasks and before setting out in another direction.

I have to confess Dearest Jesus, I have felt a peace with You these past few days that I have not felt in a long while.

this house

Tuesday, October 2, 2012 (6:16 a.m.)

Blessed Jesus,

Thank You. Thank You for the changes that You are doing in the people of this house. You, Jesus, are responsible for the changes in our attitudes. You give us the opportunity and desire to make these changes.

triumph

Monday, October 1, 2012 (2:28 p.m.)

Precious Jesus,

I believe You are doing a miracle in us. Long standing, faulty thought patterns are being brought into question and ultimately changed for the good of Your Kingdom. Thank You!

Thank You for “Aha!” moments that make it seem like all the toil and turmoil we experience will one day lead to Your ultimate triumph. How cool is that!

Triumph. Yes. I like the sound of that. For far too long, Blessed Jesus, I have felt flattened. Deflated. Beaten to a pulp. Day by day since addressing You by name, hope has begun to spring eternal. And would You just take a look at this?

Matthew 12:15-21 in The Message version of Your Word. “[In Charge of Everything] Jesus, knowing they (the Pharisees) were out to get Him, moved on.” How smart are You? Talk about knowing One's limits. You knew just what to do and when to do it!

You continued healing the many who followed You, cautioning them to keep quiet, fulfilling Our Father's words spoken through His prophet Isaiah (42:1-4). “Look well at my handpicked Servant; I love Him so much, take such delight in Him. I've placed my Spirit on Him; He'll decree justice to the nations. But He won't yell, won't raise His voice; there'll be no commotion in the streets. He won't walk over anyone's feelings, won't push you into a corner. Before you know it, His justice will triumph; the mere sound of His name will signal hope, even among far-off unbelievers.”

This very morning, as traffic continued backing up along the freeways taking us to another airport for yet another good-bye, I was praying, “Please God, please God, please God.” Then I remembered to call upon YOUR name and all I spoke to myself was,”Jesus. Jesus. Jesus...” Repeatedly, until we pulled into the slot for offloading departing passengers. Even as we drove away with tears in my eyes and sobs in my chest, I continued calling to You.

YOUR name signaled hope to my weary soul! I knew, come what may, You were in charge. NOTHING was going to go outside of YOUR will for our day! I didn't call Your name as a mantra, or any secret code for hopes of getting my way. No. I needed Your presence with me to keep from being afraid. And You took hold of the situation.

Boarding proceeded as necessary and we surprisingly ended up at the ocean's edge. Thank You Jesus. What a perfect example of the triumph that comes from trusting You above all else. Thank You for Your comfort and Your kindness. Thank You for the hope that comes from the mere sound of Your name. I love You. I thank You. Keep me practicing loving You and calling out Your most Blessed and Holy name. Thank You. I pray. Amen.

(470 words ~ 3:36 p.m.)