Your love

Monday, February 6, 2012 (6:17 a.m.)

Harsh, Hateful, Hurtful,

That only begins to describe how far ‘south’ things went for us yesterday. What started out loving and delightful turned ugly, cruel and mean-spirited in a matter of moments.

To say we didn’t see it coming is an understatement! And it’s just right here and now that I realize I never gave one thought of coming to You with all of it. I was much too busy and intent on giving satan that angry kind of foothold we are so wisely warned about in Ephesians 4:26-27.

I had plenty of opportunities to practice forgiveness and hand-holding. Instead I purposefully chose thoughts of vengefulness and grudge-holding.

Forgive me Blessed Father. Even when I prayed with a young mom on the phone late last night, it never occurred to me to offer all this gunk up to You.

Yesterday I asked You to change my tune. Today I’m asking for changed tones. We spoke disdainfully to one another. There were no signs that there had ever been an ounce of love or respect between us. The four letter words I muttered throughout the day had absolutely nothing to do with Your love.

Would You just look at that? Two of the best four letter words in the world! YOUR LOVE!

Almost immediately I started humming a song from more than fifty years ago. Even in looking up the very few words involved in the lyrics I have to confess that I can’t sing them wholeheartedly to You right now. Cold-heartedly maybe.

♫For Your love, oh, I would do anything. I would do anything, fo-o-or Your love♫ Anything except forgive that is.

Father, I am confessing that I am sitting here holding on to my ‘right’ to be angry. Did you hear what he said? The tone? The harsh, hurtful words? Of course You did. Why am I being so stubborn? So resistant to Your Love?

Thank You Father for giving each of us access to Your love. Thank You that it’s a much bigger undertaking than it seems. Hearts. Flowers. Good times. No. It’s sacrifice. Obedience. Thinking more about others than ourselves.

Thank You for reminding me. Your love. Best four letter words around. Make me worthy of them. Of You. Of Your love!

Thank You Father. Thank You Jesus. Thank You Holy Spirit. Be with me. In me. Through me. Before me. After me. Above and below me, all around as I go with the intent of setting this right. In Your name [another very good four letter word! J] I pray. I love You. I thank You. Amen.

(437 words ~ 6:59 a.m.)