"No blame. No shame."

Wednesday, May 25, 2011 (8:51 a.m.)

Amazing God,

Wonderfully awesome and amazing God. Thank You! Thank You for yet another dream from which I awoke thinking of You. Thinking of Truth. Thinking the words, “No blame. No shame.”

Thursday, May 26, 2011 (2:32 a.m.)

And think of You and Truth and those words I did all day long yesterday. Even to the point of waking up with them again this morning.

Friday, May 27, 2011 (7:35 a.m.)

Buffalo Bill’s Resort and Casino #117A

Primm, NV

Hello Again,

My thoughts keep going to You. Prayerful. Thankful. Wondering thoughts. Ever seeking that great “Aha!” that will take me once again to Your road of discipline. Obedience. Repentance. Commitment.

Lord, You know me ~ so much better than I can ever hope to know myself. I keep starting things I do not finish. I become frustrated. I lose interest. I know You are my ‘go to’ Guy, yet I don’t always utilize Your willingness to help.

This prayer itself is testament to that. Since awakening to the “No blame. No shame” mantra the other morning I keep reading more in Dr. Luke’s book of Acts. Initially drawn here (Acts 13:38-39) by ‘absolve’, the antonym of blame, I’ve stayed around expecting Your light bulb of understanding to hit me at any minute!

And it actually has, on several occasions. The first being early Wednesday morning. Having spent a few days challenging the ‘end of the world’ (5/21/11) claims of one particularly uninformed man, I was genuinely pleased to find the verse of which I had been referring. Not having taken the time to look for it, thank You for just showing it to me. Dr. Luke records You telling Your disciples that “It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by His own authority” (Acts 1:7).

What is so awesome and incredible with You, Lord, is that You don’t just leave us alone with that truth. You take it further. With a promise. Verse 8, “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” How good You are to us Dear Lord!

I confess I keep expecting this power of The Holy Spirit to just pop up in me some day. I keep thinking [hoping J] it will come upon me like the ‘tongues of fire’ (Acts 2:3) that spread amongst Your people on that day of Pentecost all those years ago.

I admit Lord, to even attempting to manufacture it in some way, shape or form. You know? Pray hard enough. Think positively enough. TRY to be ‘good’ enough. Doesn’t happen.

So I sit. I wait. Read. Wonder. Hope. Think. Pray. And wait some more.

(12:01 p.m.)

Only this time in my waiting, I shared myself much more openly with the husband. Honestly. Lovingly. Yielded ~ with a fair amount of tears, and his very descriptive word to identify some of what’s been going on inside me lately. Disappointment.

Lord. I’ve been feeling disappointed. In myself. In circumstances. In things I can, and some I can’t, control. Thank You Lord. Thank You for the courage AND insight into what needed to be said. Thank You for the receptivity with which ideas were shared between us. Thank You Lord for the sense of safety we have to offer and receive new and different thoughts.

So again, back to You. Acts 13:38-39. Absolution. And the power of Your forgiveness. “No blame. No Shame.”

“Therefore, my brothers, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you. Through Him everyone who believes is justified (declared or made right in the sight of God) from everything you could not be justified from by the law of Moses.”

I believe Lord. Too often I act as if I don’t. But I DO believe! “No blame. No shame.” Thank You Lord. I love You. Keep working in and through me I pray. Amen.

(679 words ~ 12:48 p.m.)