ALWAYS

Tuesday, May 31, 2011 (5:55 a.m.)

Blessed Lord,

You are good. I sat down with You yesterday, but I didn’t stay. I was trying to make sense of the lyrics to ♫Nights on Broadway♫ Some of them seemed quite appropriate. But I didn’t stay long enough to see if that’s where You wanted us to go.

Just now, before my eyes were fully open, the song began for me again. So… ♫Here we are♫ not so much ‘in the room full strangers’, nor are we ‘standing in the dark, where Your eyes couldn’t see me’.

I believe without a doubt that while my eyes may not always see You, Your eyes can ALWAYS see me. Thank You Lord! Thank You that even when I allow myself to become twisted up in the events of the moment, You are ALWAYS right here with me.

As I consider the word ‘always’, I turn to Deuteronomy 4:7. Moses was speaking to Your people, urging them to obey You. They were getting ready to cross over the Jordan River to the land of milk and honey You had promised them long ago.

While I am reading this, the melody grows stronger in my mind. ♫Even if it takes a lifetime, takes a lifetime♫ Lord, You are so faithful. So just. (1John 1:9) The promises You made all those years ago remain today.

“Yes. What other great nation has gods that are intimate with them the way God, our God, is with us, always ready to listen?” (Deuteronomy 4:7) You are ALWAYS here with us.

And this puts me right back reading the words of the song. I can almost hear YOU singing these words to each of Your people, ♫Well, I have to follow you Though you didn’t want me to. But that won’t stop my lovin’ you I can’t stay away♫

I see Your determination to wait for us to come to our senses. Throughout this chapter we are warned and urged to obey You. There are even ‘safe towns’, ‘cities of refuge’ established for the good of Your people.

It is the good of Your people for which I approach You this morning. Dearest Lord, big mistakes, HUGE mistakes have been made through the years. Mistakes that tend to take their toll. Through it all, I keep coming back to You.

“But you will also begin to search again for Jehovah your God, and You will find Him when you search for Him with all you heart and soul. When those bitter days have come upon you in the latter times, you will finally return to the Lord your God and listen to what He tells you. For the Lord your God is merciful – He will not abandon you nor destroy you nor forget the promises He has made to your ancestors” (29-31).

Lord, I confess to not knowing the beliefs of my ancestors. I see the remnants of despair that trying to do things on their own have led to. That’s why I’m here ♫standing in the dark♫ asking Your blessing on us who remain. We need to know You Lord. Know You and trust You. You are good. You are worthy. As I lean into and depend on You, I so very humbly ask You to forgive each of us for trying so desperately to live our lives on our own understanding. Guide and direct us Dearest Lord. Right straight to the blessings You have set for each of us. I love You so very much. Thank You for loving me more than I can ever begin to imagine. Bless You. Praise You. Thank You. Amen.

(604 words ~ 7:28 a.m.)

"Real or Not Real"

Saturday, May 28, 2011 (8:17 a.m.)

Buffalo Bill’s Resort and Casino #117A

Primm, NV

Loving Lord,

Incredibly, wonderfully, loving Lord. Thank You! You’ve done it again. And I am grateful.

Much earlier this morning, there was an anticipated conversation going on in my head. An interchange I expect will happen. One for which I want to be positively prepared. And right there in the midst of some idea that may or may not come to pass, something I can use to my benefit came to mind.

I liked it when I read it in a book the other day. A game devised by one friend to help another distinguish between things that are true and those that are not. A tool used to help overcome cleverly conceived deceptions.

Not only do I need that tool Lord. I HAVE that tool! In the form of Your Word. You provided us the ultimate version of “Real or Not Real” long before the written word became commonplace. Thank You Lord.

Thank You that this morning in looking up ‘real’ in the concordance, I only had two choices. Thank You that the second of these two hit Your Truth right out of the park for me! A full on bases loaded, Grand Slam! Thank You Lord!

In the apostle John’s first letter to the Christians throughout the world, he was writing to caution Your followers of the false teachers that could quite possibly lead them astray. He wrote to remind believers that You are the Word of Life, that we are to walk in Your Light. We are not to love the world, but each other. He warned against antichrists, encouraging us all as ‘Children of God’. He told of the importance of testing the spirits, of living in Your perfect love and believing that You ARE the Son of God.

These are the things that are Real! I came to this letter because of verse 27 of chapter two. I stayed for its entirety. I kept backing myself up verse by verse, all the way to verse one of chapter one. This book is TRUTH! It is “Real”! Thank You Lord.

I come to You this morning asking [seeking, knocking] that You would ever remind me to search You and Your Word every single time that fear, guilt and shame start to inch there evil into my being. You are REAL Lord! Your Word is REAL. Your faith, hope and love? REAL! Help me become ever mindful of Your reality!

When writing of the physical existence of Your personal opponents, John spoke truth concerning ‘the world’ (Not Real) and its inhabitants. They will pass away (Real!).

“But you [I J] have an anointing from the Holy One and all of you know the truth.” (1John 2:20) Real.

He continues, speaking Your truth through his words. Quoting him again, beginning with verse 26, “I am writing these things to you about those who are trying to lead you astray.” Sad for me that I tend to be so easily led!

Ah, but Your truth! The ultimate “Real”! Verse 27, “As for you, the anointing you received from Him remains in you, and you do not need anyone to teach you. But as His anointing teaches you about all things and as that anointing is real, not counterfeit – just as He taught you, remain in Him.”

When it comes to keeping things simple Lord and learning to take care of first things first, I ask You to ever remind me to seek You before making ANY decision, “Real or not real?”

I love You Lord. Thank You that You, Your love, Your Word, Your forgiveness of sins, Your life, Your death, Your resurrection, Your teachings… all Real! Guide me in living this life as if I truly believe You. Thank You Lord. I love You. Amen.

(641 words ~ 9:42 a.m.)

"No blame. No shame."

Wednesday, May 25, 2011 (8:51 a.m.)

Amazing God,

Wonderfully awesome and amazing God. Thank You! Thank You for yet another dream from which I awoke thinking of You. Thinking of Truth. Thinking the words, “No blame. No shame.”

Thursday, May 26, 2011 (2:32 a.m.)

And think of You and Truth and those words I did all day long yesterday. Even to the point of waking up with them again this morning.

Friday, May 27, 2011 (7:35 a.m.)

Buffalo Bill’s Resort and Casino #117A

Primm, NV

Hello Again,

My thoughts keep going to You. Prayerful. Thankful. Wondering thoughts. Ever seeking that great “Aha!” that will take me once again to Your road of discipline. Obedience. Repentance. Commitment.

Lord, You know me ~ so much better than I can ever hope to know myself. I keep starting things I do not finish. I become frustrated. I lose interest. I know You are my ‘go to’ Guy, yet I don’t always utilize Your willingness to help.

This prayer itself is testament to that. Since awakening to the “No blame. No shame” mantra the other morning I keep reading more in Dr. Luke’s book of Acts. Initially drawn here (Acts 13:38-39) by ‘absolve’, the antonym of blame, I’ve stayed around expecting Your light bulb of understanding to hit me at any minute!

And it actually has, on several occasions. The first being early Wednesday morning. Having spent a few days challenging the ‘end of the world’ (5/21/11) claims of one particularly uninformed man, I was genuinely pleased to find the verse of which I had been referring. Not having taken the time to look for it, thank You for just showing it to me. Dr. Luke records You telling Your disciples that “It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by His own authority” (Acts 1:7).

What is so awesome and incredible with You, Lord, is that You don’t just leave us alone with that truth. You take it further. With a promise. Verse 8, “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” How good You are to us Dear Lord!

I confess I keep expecting this power of The Holy Spirit to just pop up in me some day. I keep thinking [hoping J] it will come upon me like the ‘tongues of fire’ (Acts 2:3) that spread amongst Your people on that day of Pentecost all those years ago.

I admit Lord, to even attempting to manufacture it in some way, shape or form. You know? Pray hard enough. Think positively enough. TRY to be ‘good’ enough. Doesn’t happen.

So I sit. I wait. Read. Wonder. Hope. Think. Pray. And wait some more.

(12:01 p.m.)

Only this time in my waiting, I shared myself much more openly with the husband. Honestly. Lovingly. Yielded ~ with a fair amount of tears, and his very descriptive word to identify some of what’s been going on inside me lately. Disappointment.

Lord. I’ve been feeling disappointed. In myself. In circumstances. In things I can, and some I can’t, control. Thank You Lord. Thank You for the courage AND insight into what needed to be said. Thank You for the receptivity with which ideas were shared between us. Thank You Lord for the sense of safety we have to offer and receive new and different thoughts.

So again, back to You. Acts 13:38-39. Absolution. And the power of Your forgiveness. “No blame. No Shame.”

“Therefore, my brothers, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you. Through Him everyone who believes is justified (declared or made right in the sight of God) from everything you could not be justified from by the law of Moses.”

I believe Lord. Too often I act as if I don’t. But I DO believe! “No blame. No shame.” Thank You Lord. I love You. Keep working in and through me I pray. Amen.

(679 words ~ 12:48 p.m.)

disposition

Tuesday, May 24, 2011 (9:04 a.m.)

Grumble, Growl,

Rant, rave. Stamp, Stomp. Toss, turn. All in all, a wealth of grumpiness. Forgive me Lord. I realize You have blessed me far more than my present disposition suggests.

Ding, ding, ding! Disposition it is! Temperament, nature, character, makeup, inclination, tendency…

Lord, I love the way You help me smile! And if that weren’t enough, You gave me a genuine laugh out loud. Thank You Lord.

Proverbs 17:22, “A cheerful disposition is good for your health;

(10:56 a.m.)

Thank You Lord. That brief intermission of swim tips for a ten month old was almost as good for my disposition as was the preceding verse to the one mentioned above.

You DO have my back Lord. I know that! Standing on the steps of a somewhat warm pool overseeing the balance of an exploring little boy helped me remember once again that it’s not our feelings that drive us. It’s our faith.

Lord, thank You that I get to confess to You when my disposition is not all I want it to be. Thank You that You won’t hesitate to point out my tendency to pout and shut down when things don’t go to my liking. Thank You for changing my perspective even in this.

Before going outside and into the water my view toward verse 21 was more from the parent’s vantage point. After just a tiny little while of Your help adjusting my attitude, I very readily see myself as the child! Thank You Lord. You are good. You are holy. And I love You so much!

Beginning again with Proverbs 17:22, I will round myself back to verse 21. “A cheerful disposition is good for your health; gloom and doom leave you bone-tired.” I was prepared to say “Amen” and leave it at that. But, no-no. Funny God that You are, my eyes caught a glimpse of verse 21 and took it straight to my soul. “Having a fool for a child is misery; it’s no fun being the parent of a dolt.”

Nice one, God! Good. Funny. Perfect! Thanks for changing not only my disposition, but my mind and heart as well. Do with me as You will today. Accomplish in and through me that which You want done.

You are my Parent. I am Your child. Help me behave far less doltish! You deserve so much better than what I offer You. Thank You for not leaving me alone in a rotten disposition. Thank You for bringing me all the way back to a smile. I love You Lord. Thank You. Amen.

(425 words ~ 11: 17 a.m.)

details

Monday, May 23, 2011 (9:13 a.m.)

Details, Lord,

I woke up with tiny, microscopic details. These were details to the nth degree. Colors. Sounds. Even physical sensations were involved. Talk to me this morning about details Lord. I tend to be one who can get quite lost in them.

With that said, know that I love You. I turn to Your Word this morning, seeking what You might have specifically for me.

There are so many possibilities, Lord. There’s the Old Testament history of the details You gave King David for the building of Your temple (1 Chronicles 28:19, 29:30). The Proverbs (specifically 8:22) tell of the details of Wisdom’s good advice. Malachi 2:13 mentions the important details involved in keeping a marriage healthy. Some of the letters written by Your apostle Paul describe the details of Your work in and through him.

I think it’s the focus of Psalm 145 (v.6) that has me most intrigued this morning. Perhaps it’s what seems easiest for me at the moment.

Eugene Peterson used the words, “Your marvelous doings are headline news; I could write a book full of the details of Your greatness” to describe the pure praise offered to You for Your many attributes and qualities.

I confess to attempting to buy time away from the discipline and obedience required in learning to treat my body as a temple [a correlation made in some writings about the chronicles and letters mentioned above] by simply deciding to praise You instead. Ah, but detailed God that You are, You’ve got me here as well.

Bottom of the page comment about Psalm 145:1-7 says this, “Praise is one of our weapons against the temptation of our dependencies.” You are bound and determined to get my mind off any [read here as every J] addiction I battle and back on You where it so rightly belongs, aren’t You? Thank You Lord!

Thank You for Your tender love for me. A love that I confess to not currently having enough of for myself to truly work a consistent program of recovery from my addictive behaviors.

Lord! There IS no way of skirting issues with You, is there? I thought, ‘Yeah. Praise Him. Worship Him. Take the pressure off all you know is going on inside yourself and just tell Him what He wants to hear.’ NOT! You’ll have none of my attempt to manipulate You. Forgive me Father, for I HAVE sinned! I sought to ‘use’ Your Word in a convenient ploy to distract You from all that is going on inside me.

Here it is. In more detailed form than I have allowed myself in a long, LONG time! I am not taking good, healthy care of myself. I don’t know why. I make half-hearted attempts. I think I can get away with looking the part. Acting as if I’m doing all I think I ‘should’ be doing.

You know what is best. You know every single fiber of the details behind my out and out refusal to do the things I believe are best. I am confessing, right here, right now, I can’t do this on my own Dearest Lord. YOU, however, CAN help me! I am asking You to give me the power and the strength to view myself as a ‘Temple for Your Holy Spirit’. That temple in which You dwell inside all Your people!

I struggle in confessing that I am ‘responsible to rebuild my life in a way worthy of You who dwells in me.’ These words in the Life Recovery Bible comments for 1 Chronicles 28:19 were the ones I most wanted to avoid. “Let us seek God’s plan for healthy living and then do everything we can to rebuild according to that plan.”

Oh Dearest God, here I am once again asking, seeking, knocking. Lord, help me do that which I am incapable of doing for myself. You know the details Lord. You ARE the details! Help me love You as I should. With ALL my heart, ALL my soul, ALL my mind and ALL my strength! (Mark 12:30) I confess that can’t possibly be the case right now.

Work in my details Lord. Move me forward again. I love You Lord. Forgive me for wanting to give You less of myself than You so rightly deserve. Thank You for ‘pulling my sheets’ and calling my bluff. I love You. Thank You. Amen.

(735 words ~ 10:57 a.m.)

awesome

Sunday, May 22, 2011 (7:14 a.m.)

Awesome God,

(7:49 a.m.)

Oops! Side tracked again. How quickly that happens. Forgive me Lord. One minute I’m looking up the word ‘awesome’ and the next I’m searching pizza places and book prices. Back to ‘awesome’. You are, You know! The Israelites knew it too.

Lord, how I thank You that I get to come here before You. I dreamt about the seemingly ‘hopeless’ college situation turning out well. I woke up hopeful again that with You ALL things are possible!

In finding the word ‘awesome’ in Your Word, the verse that most readily caught my eye was Exodus 15:11. Oh, but before we get there, a little background please.

And look at that. Even in trying to sum up the events leading up to the verse du jour I get lost. I am again caught between the smiles I have for the hopes of deliverance and the shaking of my head because of the sinful nature of mankind.

Lord. You love us so much. You have loved us since You first created us all those eons ago. And we love You too. It’s evidenced in this second book of Moses’ Pentateuch. Right here Lord, I confess agreement with the old adage, “The more things change the more they stay the same.”

There Your people were Dear Lord. Caught between a rock and a hard place. Having been delivered by You working through Moses and the ten plagues, Pharaoh had finally let Your people go. Only to change his mind again and go chasing after them!

Lord, it’s us all over the place. We make mistakes, turn pleadingly to You, You make a way where there seems to be no way, we rejoice with praises directed to You. And then… we repeat!

Exodus 15:11 picks up in the midst of the praising, after the initial deliverance and before another mistake. Moses and Your people were singing praises of victory directly to You. “Who else is the like the Lord among the gods? Who is glorious in holiness like Him? Who is so awesome in splendor, A wonder-working God?”

‘Awesome in splendor, A wonder-working God’. True. SO true! Lord God. I come to You this morning confessing my tendency to waver on my trust in You. I read Your Word and am again reminded of the good company I keep in this. It doesn’t make it right. It’s not somewhere I want to sit too long and become comfortable.

It’s the reminder Lord. Your blessed reminder that YOU oh Lord are God. Your people are going to doubt, fear, change their minds. Question, argue and every so often come back to Your way of thinking and put all their hope and trust in You. That’s exactly where I am this morning Lord. Hoping and trusting in You. I KNOW You have our backs! You want what is best for each and every one of us. How I pray dearest Lord that You will continue lining us up and marching us through what seem to be insurmountable odds to yet another place of worship and adoration.

You are awesome Dearest Lord. Whatever the outcome, I love You. And I thank You. Until next time… Amen.

(539 words ~ 8:41 a.m.)

gifts

Friday, May 20, 2011 (7:27 a.m.)

Loving Lord,

Where has this month gone? It’s almost two-thirds over. How do You most want me to use what remains of it? Speak to me this morning Lord. I turn in Your Word. I search Your Scriptures. I guess, rather than trying to discern some great mystical revelation, I will shift instead over to thanking and praising. I’ve been told I can never go wrong in thanking and praising You for all You are and all You do in our lives.

Yes Lord. Thank You. Thank You for Your presence. Thank You for Your presents. Gifts. Such as a brand new day [and soon enough, another new month! J]. Yes Lord. Gifts.

Hmm. Just moments ago I was using the word ‘melancholy’ in my search. All truth be told, there is a tiny degree of that mixed in with what I’m feeling this morning. But You are so much better than my staying there. Just that little shift in my thinking, from anything that might be ‘wrong’ around here to ALL the things that are right and again I am smiling.

You shower us with gifts Dearest Lord. I’m not always the first to recognize them, but You do! Thank You Lord. Thank You for the gift of Your presence. Of Your Son! Of another day, filled with opportunity.

Lord God, thank You that as I made the decision to change my thinking Your Word came more clearly into my mind. The words 'renewing my soul' followed. Now I'm at Romans 12:2. “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – His good, pleasing and perfect will.”

Thank You Lord. One little shift. That’s all it took to take me from focusing on all the things I could think to become upset about, to thanking and praising the Creator of everything. Thank You Lord. Let me use this day [and the rest of this month] wisely. Remind me of the preciousness of Your gifts to us.

Thank You Lord. I love You. Amen.

(364 words ~ 8:35 a.m.)

earnest prayer

Thursday, May 19, 2011 (7:21 a.m.)

Awesome and Incredibly Blessed Lord,

Thank You! At 11:11 p.m. 2:21 a.m. and 5 something this morning I wasn’t sure I’d be saying “Thank You”, but here I am.

Thank You! Thank You that every single time I woke up I was praying, “Please God. Please God. Please.” Finally it occurred to me that I needed to be saying, “Your will, Your will, Your will” instead.

In doing exactly that “The earnest prayer of a righteous (wo)man availeth much” (James 5:16) came straight to mind. Thank You Lord. Usually I struggle with at least one word of a verse. But sometime in the still dark early morning hours, these words were here for me. Complete and intact.

Thank You. Thank You that I even had the presence of mind to wonder if my prayer wasn’t a tad more desperate than earnest. Just now, in using the thesaurus, the phrase ‘earnest prayer’ is shown as: devout, heartfelt, wholehearted, sincere, impassioned, fervent, ardent, intense, urgent. Yep. That’s me!

We have a situation Lord. One that only YOU can rectify at this point. It has to do with a college kid making the grades to continue his scholarship funding and being able to return to school in the fall. You are the God of miracles Lord. I do not presume to know Your best for him. But that is exactly what I am asking. YOUR best, Your will, Your way.

Lord God, how I thank You that we have You to come to in what are oftentimes our darkest hours. How I ask Lord that You are working in him to bring about his righteousness.

And speaking of our darkest hours Lord, we have a much-loved friend plagued with mental illness. Misuse of drugs and alcohol too often intensify the problem. This time a letter of intent toward suicide was involved. Followed by another arrest and a court appearance set. Lord, he catches glimpses of You. He has seeming moments of clarity before slipping back down the rabbit hole. You again are the only One bigger than his worst nightmare.

Lord how I pray Your will, Your healing, Your hand on both of these hurting men. Your best Dearest Lord. Your comfort, Your guidance, Your readiness, Your willingness, Your ability to do for them that which they cannot and have not been able to do for themselves. You are such a good God. You are able to do far more than we can ever imagine.

Lord God, I believe Your Word. I turn these problems over to You dearest Lord. Praying. Earnestly. Asking. Seeking. Knocking. Pleading. Begging that Your will be done in the lives of both of these men. One FAR younger than the other!

The Cotton Patch Bible records James 5:16 this way, “Be honest with one another about your sins, and pray for each other that you might get the victory over them, for the petitions of a truly good man is powerfully effective.”

The Message says this, “Make this your common practice: Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you can live together whole and healed. The prayer of a person living right with God is something powerful to be reckoned with.”

New Living Translation, “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.”

I could keep listing translations ad infinitum. Instead I will end with the English Standard Version. “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.”

Oh most dear and blessed Lord, hear my prayer on behalf of both of these much-loved souls. I love You so much. Thank You for Your love and Your magnificent healing powers. How I ask that You would use them to Your very best outcome for both. Thank You. Amen.

(675 words ~ 8:35 a.m.)

loss

Wednesday, May 18, 2011 (8:19 a.m.)

Loving Lord,

There’s some trouble getting started here this morning. Fragments of a few dreams I had keep coming to the forefront of my mind. I remember waking up from the first one thinking, “Yes. That’s what it is, I need to speak with the Lord about ‘loss’.” Do I really Lord?

Yes, maybe so. Lord, I don’t usually put a lot of stock in dreams. I’m the first to admit that I don’t have what it takes to figure them out. Just following what seems to be Your lead, I am again reading parts of Job’s story. Once again You amaze me Lord!

Ever so faintly, in the far reaches of my mind ♫The Old Rugged Cross♫ is almost audible. As I search for the words, I come across the chorus: ♫So I’ll cherish the old rugged cross, till my trophies at last I lay down; I will cling to the old rugged cross, and exchange it some day for a crown♫ This was my mom’s song Lord. How very appropriate that it would accompany the dream I had of all of her earthly possessions having been stolen.

Speak to me here Lord, in ways that go beyond what I would try to conjure into making sense.

I’m reading of Job’s dialogue with his friends. He continues to insist on his innocence while the others in his life continue to condemn, rebuke, challenge and even angrily attack him.

(10:12 a.m.)

While continuing to read excerpts of this profound book, Lord I so very humbly come to You with genuine thanksgiving for the mistakes I continue to make. Lord, You are so very good. So kind. So forgiving. Thank You Lord that a dream about loss would take me again into this book about even greater loss than I can imagine. Thank You that the theme throughout is faith and trust in You. NOT in our understanding of You!

Lord, I won’t pretend to truly grasp the meaning of all of this. It is much too deep. Far too profound. What I will do is ask that I would be able to stand, like Job, before others in the midst of every pain and loss declaring, “But as for me, I know that my Redeemer lives, and that He will stand upon this earth at last. And I know that after this body has decayed, this body shall see God!” (Job 19:25-26)

Thank You Lord that through this book we are taught that You are never put off by our fear, anger, doubt, complaints. Here we are reminded to ‘live by faith rather than our own strength’. Where our own reasoning may be faulty, Your sovereignty reigns supreme. Lord, thank You for teaching us marvelous lessons through great loss.

You are good. You are holy. You are the very reason that I am loved. Thank You Lord. I love You. Amen.

(488 words ~ 10 :36 a.m.)

Rain?

Tuesday, May 17, 2011 (7:25 a.m.)

Blessed Lord,

What a surprise. I opened the curtains to wet sidewalks and other signs that it had rained. I wasn’t expecting it. The last thing I’d heard about rain was that it was no longer in the forecast.

Thank You Lord that it appears gentle and quite needed. It also makes me aware of the areas in the country where the weather is not gentle. Floodwaters are rising and causing much concern. You are in charge Lord. We look to You for help and protection of Your people.

In looking to You, it is only natural to turn to Your Word as well. Again I get lost in the various verses that mention ‘rain’. However, I keep coming back to Hebrews 6:7. “When the ground soaks up the falling rain and bears a good crop for the farmer, it has God’s blessing.” I want to bear a good crop Lord.

The pastor on Sunday gave an example about the importance of praying for our enemies. While I don’t necessarily consider those with whom I hold at arms length ‘enemies’ I have to confess my prayers for them are NOT the things I want for myself. Forgive me Lord. If the rain of Your Word is truly falling on all my heart and soul and mind and strength (Mark 12:30) then I would ultimately come to love my neighbor as myself (v. 31). This would be evident in the good crop of Your blessing.

How I thank You Lord for the way You bring Your Truth into my everyday life. Just in turning a couple of pages in The Life Recovery Bible, several subtitles jump out at me:

A Call to Listen to God,

Promised Rest for God’s People,

Christ Is Our High Priest

A Call to Spiritual Growth

God’s Promises Bring Hope

What a privilege, what an honor, what a blessing to be able to rest in You and Your promises Lord. Thank You for the surprise of a rainy day. Thank You so much more that for You there are NO surprises!

You are so good. So perfect. And I am so grateful. Thank You Lord! I love You. Prepare my spiritual ground to soak up Your falling rain on me. Thank You. Amen.

(382 words ~ 8:28 a.m.)

flood

Monday, May 16, 2011 (8:18 a.m.)

Whoa, Lord,

I don’t even know where to start. Praise You. Thank You. That’s always the best. First let me confess to the flood of emotions I’m experiencing. Highs. Lows. Occasional smile. Tears. Frustration… which, left unchecked, could SO easily turn to anger.

Okay. Let’s don’t ‘go there’. It would be too easy. Wasn’t I taught quite a while back that ‘anger is easy’? Yes. That’s right. Anger IS easy! It’s easy to fall back on. It’s a far more natural bent for me than love and forgiveness.

Hmm. Lord, I wasn’t expecting this kind of honesty this morning. Haven’t I gotten fairly good at coming here and presenting myself in a much more positive light? Don’t I normally try to change my mindset to better reflect that which I think would be more pleasing to You? So what is it about this morning? Why am I so willing to come here and tell You that I’m hurting Lord?

There was a panicked call yesterday morning regarding the health and welfare of a much loved one. That was followed by the news of the half-expected yet still surprising death of a former co-worker. We had rain and cold and hours traveled to join our good-byes with that of others for a dearly loved, godly young couple. And just now I spent a nostalgic time looking at photos from a period before my own birth.

All kinds of emotions are being tapped here Lord. A flood of negativity is unleashing itself. My past behavior is to attempt to outrun the pain. Quite feebly I attempt to protect myself. Today, instead, I’m bringing it all to You. The self-recrimination. The hurt. The loss. I bring it all to You because that is exactly what I have to offer You today.

And finally in all this I give You thanks and praise! Praise that You are good. Holy. Perfect. Real. Available. Ours. Thanks that You will never leave us nor forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). These are the truths that keep me grounded.

My mind may whip with the onslaught of thoughts that could blow me hither and yon. But Your Word, Your Truth, Your promises keep bringing me back to 1 Corinthians 13:13, (TLB) “Three things will last forever – faith, hope, and love – and the greatest of these is love.”

Ah, Lord, thank You! My heart is hurting right now. There is some deeply seeded sadness. It’s there. I’m not going to pretend it’s not. But what I WILL do, what I AM doing is bring it to You. Again I tell You Blessed Lord, this is what I have to offer You this day. Thank You for Your willingness to accept me exactly as I am. ESPECIALLY in times like today when I tend to judge and critique myself (and others) so harshly.

Through the reading and searching of Your Word this morning, again I am drawn to Psalm 118. Verse 1, “Oh, thank the Lord, for He is good! His loving-kindness is forever.” You are Truth. You are my hope! “Out of my distress I called on the Lord; the Lord answered me and set me free” (v. 5). Flood me with Your truth and hope, Dearest Lord. Your faith, hope and love that so perfectly counter all fear, guilt and shame. Fight the battle of emotions that I just can’t do myself right now. I love You. I thank You. I praise You. And most importantly of all, I TRUST You! Thank You Lord. I love You. Amen.

(587 words ~ 10:33 a.m.)

boatload (times three)

Friday, May 13, 2011 (6:06 a.m.)

Most Blessed Lord God,

We have got a boatload of unfinished business going on around here. There are so many things I have started, stopped and just left lying around.

How cool are You that just as my focus had planned to be on the unfinished business aspect, you led my choice of descriptive words away from ‘truckload’ to ‘boatload’. No sooner had I thought the word than the story of You calling Your first disciples [and their amazing catch] came to mind.

Saturday, May 14, 2011 (7:48 a.m.)

Throughout much of yesterday and again this morning I have found myself singing ♫I will make you fishers of men, fishers of men… If you follow me♫ Lord, how good You are.

(8:28 a.m.)

My attention continues to be distracted. There is a problem. The proverbial elephant/gorilla in the living room that has gone resolved all these months.

Sunday, May 15, 2011 (6:24 a.m.)

What say I actually finish this prayer to You this morning? First of all I want to thank You for keeping me with Luke 5:1-11 all this time. I have actually taken it with me, in physical form, everywhere I’ve gone the last many days.

When I first came to You on Friday my focus was ever so much more on the problems of this household. Reading of “An Amazing Catch of Fish” on the day You called Your first disciples, I keep coming back to Peter’s (then known as Simon) second part of his reply to You when You told him to take his boat out deeper and let down his nets.

“Sir, we worked hard all last night and didn’t catch a thing. But if You say so, we’ll try again.”

Blessed Lord how very much time we spend working hard with little to no results. Oh, but one word from You and we are willing to try again. You are so good Lord. So true. So amazing. Which leads me right into the singing of another song ♫Jesus Messiah, name above all names Blessed Redeemer, Emmanuel The rescue for sinners The ransom from Heaven Jesus Messiah, Lord of all… Love so amazing♫

You Lord are truly “Love so amazing”! Love in the flesh. Love sent here by the Father to teach us how to truly love one another. Oh most dear and blessed Lord, how VERY much I thank You for this love. This love, so amazing!

Recovery commentary to the Scripture referenced above describes Your chosen disciples as “certainly persistent in their fishing”. “But” it says, “doing things their way just wasn’t enough.” LORD! How closely do I resemble this statement!

For so many years we have continued with the same way of doing things. A pattern of ‘fear, guilt and shame’ was set for us long ago and we have stuck to its insidiousness all this time. But this past week You called us to go out where it is deeper, to a new level of love. You gave us Your Word and told us to “function” in it. That has been our new standard this week. We keep coming back to it. To You! Confessing, “Sir, we worked hard… but if You say so, we’ll try again.”

The remainder of the commentary describes us in even greater detail, “As soon as they followed Jesus’ advice, as crazy as it sounded, they experienced abundant success. We may be struggling to attain recovery on our own. We may be diligent, hard working, and disciplined. However, if we don’t do things God’s way, no amount of hard work will bring the desired results.” Oh most blessed Lord, thank You for knowing our character so well. Thank You for always being ahead of our mistakes.

“Following God’s will for our life is the only program that will lead to success. We may think the truth found in God’s Word seems crazy. But as we follow God’s program obediently and with His gracious help, we will experience His powerful help for our recovery.”

Thank You for being willing to come be the Lord of our lives! Thank You for teaching and even watching us fail all the while knowing that it is when we finally come to the end of ourselves and utter those yielded words that You can perfect Your will in us. “But if You say so, we’ll try again.” Ah Lord, thank You! I love You. Amen.

(741 words ~ 7:35 a.m.)

h-o-l-y

Wednesday, May 11, 2011 (6:56 a.m.)

Blessed Lord,

You gave me words with which to express myself yesterday. Words that were honest, open, loving and yielded. Lined up altogether their first letters spell out h-o-l-y. Would You talk with me this morning about what it is to be considered holy?

(7:33 a.m.)

Here I still am, practically mesmerized by Your immediate response to my request. 1Peter 1:14-16, “As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, ‘You shall be holy, for I am holy.’”

And just when I was ready to relate to You how wonderfully it all turned out yesterday, I continued reading this section of Scripture. This section that has a different subheading in each version I’m reading. “A Call to Healthy Living” (TLB), “A Future in God” (TM), “Our Holy Calling” (Bible Handbook), “Called to Be Holy” (ESV) and simply “Be Holy” (NIV).

Lord God, I sit here contemplating our experience yesterday. I was honest and open with a friend. I gave enough details of our current situation and requested prayer for the conversation I knew needed to take place. It was during that particular prayer the words honest, open and loving were used. Lord, thank You for letting me truly hear the importance of them.

Thank You for enabling me to stand firmly on You and Your Word throughout the discussion that subsequently took place. Thank You that when a voice went from being calm to sounding upset, I recognized it right as it happened. Thank You that the words, ‘Be angry, but do not sin in your anger’ (Ephesians4:26) came right to my mind and out of my mouth.

Lord, this was You. All the way around. From start to finish. This was You. Thank You Lord. Thank You for loving us. Teaching us. Training us. Pruning us. Growing us. Through Your Word. In Your image.

Thank You for not only saying to us, “I am holy; you be holy” but for providing the instruction manual of Your Word to help guide us into holiness. In The Message, the verses immediately preceding this call describe our need to roll up our sleeves, put our minds in gear and be totally ready to receive the gift that’s coming when You arrive. We’re not to lazily slip back into old patterns. We are to be Your obedient children, letting ourselves “be pulled into a way of life shaped by God’s life, a life energetic and blazing with holiness.”

That’s exactly what happened here yesterday. And just so I don’t get too content in the happenings, the very next verses remind me that just because You help when we call out for it, because You’re a good Father that way, You are also a responsible Father and won’t let us get by with sloppy living. We must travel this life journey with a deep consciousness of You. It cost You plenty to get me out of “that dead-end, empty-headed life” I grew up in.

And just when I think I’m done, there’s the “But wait! There’s more…” that is always so exciting in Your Word. Verse 22 tells us, “Now that you’ve cleaned up your lives by following the truth, love one another as if your life depended on it.” Because it does, doesn’t it!

Lord, I can’t thank You, nor praise You enough for all You have done and are doing in and through us. But I can very honestly-openly-lovingly-yieldingly say that I love You and I am so very grateful for all You have done and are doing in our lives. Thank You Lord. Keep guiding and directing all of our hearts, souls, minds and strength to loving You as You have so rightfully commanded (Mark 12:30) that we will in turn come to love our neighbor as ourself” (v. 31).

You are good. You are holy. And I am to be holy as well. Make it so Dearest Lord. Make it so. I love You. I thank You. Amen.

(690 words ~ 8:58 a.m.)

receiver/conduit

Monday, May 9, 2011 (9:42 a.m.)

Awesome God,

I have officially forgotten all the things I was planning to come here and discuss with You. As I was waking up I remember thinking, “Oh yes. And that too.”

Lord. You are so good. You have so much to give to us. Make me a better receiver of all that You have to offer.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011 (6:57 a.m.)

And then I changed my mind. I knew as soon as I was expressing it that I don’t just want to receive from You. Lord I want to be a much better ‘sharer’. I want Your gifts, Your blessings, to just flow through me. I want You to make me a better channel. A conduit, Lord. Make me a better conduit!

Your Word provides truth, hope, love. These things come into my heart. I meditate on them. I get excited about them. Lord God, how I ask that You would continue Your work in me that I would freely share them with others.

Lord, I confess to You the tendency I have of holding on. Holding back. I hate to admit that I am fairly fond of thinking of things as ‘mine’ even when I know they are Yours. I keep trying to change that habit. Again Lord, I ask You to do for me that which I haven’t been able to do for myself.

I’ve known since yesterday that I once again want to learn more deeply what Your love truly is and especially all that it is not. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a is most often my go to Scripture for this. To have it so clearly spelled out that ‘love is patient and kind; does not envy or boast; is not arrogant or rude; does not insist on its own way; is not irritable or resentful; does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things; never ends’ is another truth I want tattooed to my heart Dearest Lord.

I want to be able to stand firmly on the Truth and hope that is found in Your love. When I become aware of the things that cause me to feel fear, guilt or shame it is my heart’s desire that I would come to automatically counter them with Your faith, hope and love.

Lord God, You are so good. So kind. So patient. Just as I began thinking of Your innumerable attributes, ‘slow to anger’ came to mind. In searching for a verse to match ‘and abounding in love’ led me to Psalm 145. Oh most dear and holy God, how I ask You to empower me to LIVE the truth of this chapter!

Praising You and blessing Your name ‘each day and forever…’ Lord, You love each and everyone of us so very much. Let each of us become free flowing conduits of Your love, mercy, grace, faith and hope. Oh You are so good and You deserve ever-so-much more than I offer You. Thank You for loving me in spite of myself. I love You so very much Dearest Lord. Teach me to do it better. Thank You. Amen.

(533 words ~ 8:06 a.m.)

"function in love"

Mother’s Day, May 8, 2011 (7:29 a.m.)

Loving Lord,

Speak to me this morning of things You know I need to know. Things like truth and love. Joy and peace. Encouragement. All the things that made my head [and heart, and soul J] nod in agreement at church last night.

We’re having a rather impromptu brunch-like gathering in a few hours for which we are completely unprepared. It seemed like SUCH a good idea at the time! What I’m asking here Lord is that we would do as Pastor Greg encouraged last night and learn to “function in love”.

Oh most dear and precious Lord that is indeed what I have longed for all these years. Where I am mostly prone to the fear, guilt and shame that he mentioned, it truly IS the ability to function in love for which I yearn!

He also mentioned the sweet encouragements he delights in whispering to his young son. Whispers of YOUR truth! Spoken softly so they go deeply into his soul and take root to grow with and within him. Lord I desperately desire to be the kind of person who whispers Your truth into others. I want so very much to function in love. Your love, Lord. Your good and perfect love, described more fully in 1John 4:7-21.

I am once again drawn to verse eighteen where we are taught, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” How strongly I want to experience this type of love most dear and blessed Lord.

Throughout the night and early morning hours the song that was ever present with me is what I most sincerely ask for this day. We are going to gather together to celebrate loving Mothers. Let us do exactly that by joining our hearts and souls, incorporating Your glory and truth into our very cores.

♫Let the glory of the Lord rise among us… Let the praises of our King rise among us Let it rise Let the songs of the Lord rise among us… Let the joy of our King rise among us Let it rise Oh, let it rise♫

Oh yes Lord! How I ask that YOU would rise among us right here. Today. Through Your glory, praises, songs, joy and Your Spirit. Teach us Lord to TRULY “function in love”!

Thank You Lord. I love You. Amen.

(412 words ~ 8:36 a.m.)

fruit

Saturday, May 7, 2011 (8:00 a.m.)

Most Incredibly Loving Lord,

Thank You! Thank You for love. For joy. For peace. Patience. Kindness. Goodness. Faithfulness. Gentleness. And self-control. Yes Lord. Thank You for fruit. The fruit of Your Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23).

Who knew? We I guess YOU did! All along. Truly, inexplicably guided by Your Holy Spirit I batted a thousand this past week. Two children. Two bouquets of flowers. Both of them completely unexpected.

Lord God, I confess that through the years I have actually come to doubt [far more times than I can count] my approach to parenting. I’ve worked at my attempts to be guided by Your Spirit. I’ve mined and sifted through Your Word – and just like the husband has so often said throughout the years – found what it is I believe and then stand firmly on that.

This time Lord, there were no attempts. On both of these occasions I truly was just doing what seemed the right thing to do at the time. Our son wanted us to see him perform a role he was truly enjoying, so we went. Our daughter was home this year on her birthday. We had the chance to join her for dinner and we took advantage of that opportunity.

In both of these instances I was honored. Surprised by bouquets of flowers, thanking me just for being me.

You did this Lord! You produced this kind of fruit in me. Other people’s children have thanked me this week [and previously as well] for the role I have played in mothering them. It’s You Lord. Your Holy Spirit working Your will in me.

Thank You. Thank You for Your blessed surprise of sweet fruit Dear Lord. The Life Recovery Bible has this to say in a devotion titled Self-control. “Self-control is called a fruit. Fruit doesn’t instantly pop out on the tree. As the tree grows and seasons pass, the fruit naturally develops. As we continue to follow God’s guidance, taking one step at a time, our self-control will naturally grow. Our job is to stay connected to God. It is the Holy Spirit’s job to produce the fruit of self-control in our life.”

Thank You Lord. Thank You for keeping me connected to You all these years that I would truly experience the exquisitely sweet fruit of Your Holy Spirit. I love You so very much Dearest Lord. And I am so incredibly thankful. Thank You. Amen.

(413 words ~ 8:55 a.m.)

stick-to-itiveness

Wednesday, May 4, 2011 (6:07 a.m.)

Blessed Lord,

Thank You! Thank You for yard work and hard work. Thank You for the stick-to-itiveness that was needed to complete tasks that recently I’ve begun to give up on.

Lord God, how I do indeed thank You! My original plan throughout the early morning hours had been to meet with You to discuss my recent stubbornness. Stubborn in a negative, unwilling sense. Stubborn to the point of downright refusing to consider things I’d rather not think about.

But then I thanked You for the work You did through me yesterday. I thanked You for the stick-to-itiveness that has been missing from my days recently and I find myself exploring Your promise to Ezekiel…

Friday, May 6, 2011 (8:24 a.m.)

How very interesting Lord that I would title this with such a positive word describing perseverance and persistence only to disappear again for two more days. I have to admit, I love the way You work. I insist on going my own way. Getting sidetracked. But ever faithful, loving Father that You are, You don’t just leave me alone to my own devices. You remind me that YOUR way is the best way.

Far too often recently I have revisited the habit of starting and stopping any number of projects. Exercise. Better food choices. Following through on things begun. All tend to end with the same four words. “I’m bored of this.”

That’s what was so exciting on Tuesday. I had set a ‘reachable’ goal for myself and YOU came along taking me ever so effortlessly past it. I was fully aware that a power far greater than myself was working in and through me. And I am grateful Lord. Wonderfully, sincerely, whole-heartedly grateful.

Far too often I get stuck between the ‘want-to-s’, ‘have-to-s’, and ‘shoulds’. But every so often You allow me to just rise above it all. And just as often happens, another song comes to mind! ♫Let the glory of the Lord, rise among us…♫

Oh most dear and glorious Lord, it is when I least expect it that You send me the reminders that I need to more fully rest and trust in You. Thank You Lord. I’ve spent so much time and energy through the years battling windmills. And see Lord? Here You are again allowing me to see that I am not the only one like myself. Searching out the meaning of the previous phrase I was made aware of the word coined to describe others who have gone before just as idealistic, starry-eyed, impractical and unrealistic as I – quixotic!

But the coolest part of this whole endeavor Lord is that You never leave us alone, which brings me all the way back to Ezekiel. In chapter 36, You promise to restore the nation of Israel. Not because the people deserve it. But because Your will would not be stopped.

It is because of Your gracious power to forgive and rebuild that I get to lean hard into the truth of verses 25-27 from The Message. “Then I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean. Your filth will be washed away and you will no longer worship idols. And I will give you a new heart and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart. And I will put my Spirit in you so that you will follow my decrees and be careful to obey my regulations.”

Lord, it is this truth that helps me remember “from whence cometh my help” (Psalm 121). It’s You Lord. Any stick-to-itiveness I experience comes directly from You and I am grateful. Deeply, profoundly grateful! Help me stick to whatever it is You have for me this day. I love You. And I thank You. Amen.

(649 words ~ 10:56 a.m.)

so much

Monday, May 2, 2011 (5:52 a.m.)

Blessed Lord,

Thank You. You got us home safely. And on time. You have so much to teach us. There’s so much for us to learn.

So much, Lord. So very much.

(7:20 a.m.)

I look in Your Word and I read so much. There are promises of so much love. So much joy. So much hope. I look to You and think repeatedly, “It’s just so much Dearest Lord.” So much that I don’t even know where or how to start.

With almost every thought comes a note or two from different songs. I had hymns going there for a while. And just now it switched over to Julie Andrews’ call to ♫start at the very beginning, a very good place to start…♫

Tuesday, May 3, 2011 (5:37 a.m.)

And just like that I was off to do something else. Take care of some kind of business. Just like in everything else around here, there is just so much to do. So much for which to be grateful. So much to give You thanks. So much change. So much work. So much, Lord. So very much.

(7:00 a.m.)

And there again, so much distraction. Lord, I start out in Your Word. I get excited [agog J] and start nodding my head like one of the plastic dogs in the back of a car window. I agree with what I read. There’s so much hope to be found within these pages.

How I ask You Lord to transfer these messages of truth into my every fiber. In Luke (3:16) John the Baptist foretold, “Someone is coming soon who is greater than I am – so much greater…” John 3:16 reminds that “God loved the world so much…”

Also found in the book of John (7:15) people were surprised when they heard You; wondering how You possibly knew “so much” when You hadn’t been trained. Your own words from verse twelve, in chapter sixteen, perk my ears up. “There is so much more I want to tell you, but you can’t bear it now.” Yet it’s the promise of verse thirteen that starts my heart beating faster and my mind wandering. “When the Holy Spirit, who is truth, comes, He shall guide you into all truth, for He will be passing on what He has heard. He will tell you about the future.”

Lord God, there is SO MUCH I don’t understand! So much I think. So much I hope. So much I get wrong. So much I must start over again.

Thank You Lord for Your promises of a better life. Promises of a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11). Promises that keep us trusting. And believing. Lord God, I love You. I thank You.

Turning over to a commentary about Paul’s words to the Romans (11:33-36) my soul again starts to swell so much. “After sketching out the broad contours of God’s plan for us, Paul could only fall on his knees in worship of God’s majesty.” Your ‘plan, wisdom, knowledge and ways are so far beyond ours that we have only one option: to humbly give You the praise You deserve!’

Thank You Lord. I love You. And I praise You. So much! Amen.

(538 words ~ 7:42 a.m.)