changing

Wednesday, April 13, 2011 (7:17 a.m.)

Loving Lord,

Good Morning. I look to You for hope. For change. For commitment. Contentment. For everything.

I confess to not knowing what I am doing most of the time anymore. I tend to shrink back from the certainty with which I used to approach most things. I’m changing Lord. Prayerfully for the better!

I used to be so darned cocksure about most things. Mention almost anything and I had at least one opinion. These days, that is no longer the case. How I pray this is from You Dearest Lord. I want to wait and rest and trust in You.

And by doing exactly that I am reading the story of Hagar and Ishmael (Genesis 16-21) and a devotional on The Serenity Prayer.

Lord God how I thank You for these stories of imperfect people. You knew the plans You had for them, yet they interfered. You made promises of countless descendants for Abram but he and Sarai got tired of waiting. The tears forming in my eyes tell me that I am relating deeply to this message.

I came to this section because of verse five in chapter seventeen. Here You are quoted telling Abram “What’s more, I am changing your name.” You went on to give him details of Your plan for him. “Kings shall be among your descendants!” (Genesis 17:6). You also laid out that his “part of the contract is to obey its terms” (9).

The amount of manipulation, blame, lying, fear and ultimately hope that Your people went through comforts me. Too often I feel alone in my confusion. But here at the end of this particular devotional reading, the description of Abraham’s reaction to your plan to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah (18:20-33) buoys me yet again.

“Abraham wasn’t sure what he could do in the situation he faced; he wasn’t even sure what was right in this situation. He talked it over with God, reasoning it out, trying to do what he could.” Not THAT seems like a good example to follow!

And here’s the advice I’d like to remember throughout this day. “When we don’t know how much of a change we can or even should make, we can start by talking it over with God. Then we can try to do as much as we feel confident doing.”

Here I have a penciled in note to myself referring me over to Isaiah 40:31 where I find a Step 11 devotion entitled Patient Waiting. I have bracketed the last paragraph of this section as well as written in another song.

“Waiting for the Lord has its rewards. We can remain calm when it appears that nothing is happening in our recovery. As we learn to respond to life in new ways, the winds of adversity will lift us up, like wind beneath the wings of an eagle, instead of knocking us down. As we develop a patient faith in God we will be able to endure to the end of the race – and win.”

That has been my fear here of late Blessed Lord! My ability to endure seems to be waning. As I lean into You Lord instead of looking at circumstances, continue changing me. Work in all my heart, soul, mind and strength so that I would truly love You as Your Word (Mark 12:30) very clearly teaches.

Teach me to be patient in my waiting, remaining calm as I again learn to believe and trust the words I have so often sung before. ♫And He will raise you up on eagle’s wings, bear you on the breath of dawn, make you to shine like the sun and hold you in the palm of His hand♫ Yes Lord. Continue changing me to Your likeness. I love You. Thank You. Amen.

(632 words ~ 9:23 a.m.)