pursue

Sunday, October 31, 2010 (8:01 a.m.)

Blessed Lord,

Ha-ha. Tee-hee. Giggle-giggle. These are the gifts of laughter (Psalm 100:2 MSG) I am bringing You today, along with the numerous times I’ve already smiled this morning. Thank You [there’s that password verse four speaks of! J] for the love that surrounds us, making it all the easier to laugh and smile. To truly be joyful! Thank You Lord.

Thank You for the many times You put a word in my mind, and just when I’m about ready to give up on finding what it is You would have me learn I land smack upon it! In winding up his first letter to Timothy Paul told him about the love of money being the root of all kinds of evil (chapter 6, verse 10). Then he reminded him, “But you, Timothy, belong to God; so run from evil things, and follow what is right and good. Pursue a godly life, along with faith, love, perseverance, and gentleness.” (v. 11)

As I read a brief commentary on this section, it tells of the emptiness of trusting in money. It goes on to say, “The only way to a successful life in God’s eyes is to pursue the virtue of godliness.” Lord, may it be that I pursue YOU this day! I love You. I need You. And I thank You so very much. Thank You Lord. Amen.

(235 words ~ 9:04 a.m.)

PEACE de Resistance!

Saturday, October 30, 2010 (9:07 a.m.)

Amazing God of Glory,

“Thank You!” The smile on my face right now practically goes from ear to ear. Just by saying what I learned yesterday to be our password (Psalm 100:4) my heart immediately started singing ♫He has made me glad! He has made me glad! I will rejoice for He has made me glad♫ These are words I have sung many times before, possibly even to this very Psalm.

Thank You Lord that You truly are so deeply imbedded in my soul that songs of worship and praise just seem to randomly pop up on occasion. I love when it’s my heart that is singing to You and not just my mouth. ♫I will enter His gates with thanksgiving in my heart, I will enter His courts with praise! I will say ‘this is the day that the Lord has made’, I will rejoice for He has made me glad♫

You HAVE made me glad Dearest Lord! Every time I turn around there is another glimpse of greatness. YOUR greatness! The other day I prayed with a friend for the power of the Holy Spirit to come work in our lives. Ever since then things are getting done around here. Things which I had previously been unable to take care of. I was stalled. At a stand still. But You came along and I CAN see the forest for the trees now. There IS a light at the end of the tunnel!

Yesterday I was able to verbally challenge an incorrect conclusion I had drawn. First time ever! I recognized it in present time [not hours or days after the fact as used to be the case! J] repeated it back to make sure I had heard it correctly. And then, the “piece de resistance”! I questioned my own interpretation of what I had heard and was IMMEDIATELY told, “NO!”

Lord God, that is growth! Growth in You. Growth that comes from learning to be honest with You. Open. Willing. Thank You that You do not call us to be overburdened, overworked or overwhelmed.

A piggyback effect I was able to enjoy yesterday, amidst all the other blessings You provided, was in recognizing another strategy I realized I was using. It wasn’t something I had set out to do. I wasn’t even conscious of it to begin with. It was as evening rolled around that I saw all that we had accomplished and I became full on aware of how many times I had started shaking my head to say, “I can’t …” and instantly said “But I CAN do this…” instead.

That was You as well. In the form of the Holy Spirit working in my life! Wow! Incredible. Amazing. Truly The “Piece de Resistance”. Or MUCH more aptly put, The PEACE de Resistance!

Thank You Lord. You are ♫Wonderful, Powerful, Merciful, You are Beautiful, Wonderful, Powerful, Jesus is Your name… Hallelujah Jesus…♫ I love You. Amen.

(494 words ~ 10:33 a.m.)

Shout to the Lord

Friday, October 29, 2010 (8:49 a.m.)

Blessed Lord,

We seem to be having a real slow start here this morning. Would a difference have been made if I had actually gotten up four hours ago when I first heard ♫Shout to the Lord♫ singing to me? Only You would know the answer to that!

(10:00 a.m.)

Finally my heart, soul and mind have joined my body here with You. After quite awhile of searching the lyrics of the song and matching them up with a Psalm (98:4) I just wasn’t ‘feeling’ it! I tried singing to You, but my heart truly wasn’t in it.

Ah, but You being the good GOD that You are kept prompting me to dig deeper. Continuing to search more of the phrase “Shout to the Lord”, I came to Psalm 100. It wasn’t until landing upon The Message version that I could give You an honest, wholehearted “Yes, Lord!”

“On your feet now – applaud GOD! Bring a gift of laughter, sing yourselves into His presence. Know this: GOD is God, and God, GOD. He made us; we didn’t make Him. We’re His people, His well-tended sheep. Enter with the password: ‘Thank You!’ Make yourselves at home, talking praise. Thank Him. Worship Him. For GOD is sheer beauty, all-generous in love, loyal always and ever.”

What a difference a few words can make! Not being able to honestly ♫Shout to the Lord♫ at the time, just thinking of applauding You was something I could definitely get behind. I know I am to “Be joyful and sing as you come in to worship the LORD!” (Psalm 100:2 CEV) yet sometimes I get stuck at the doorway of Your throne-room, not wanting to pretend to be feeling something that I’m not. While I understand that being obedient has little to do with our feelings, I don’t want to fall into the trap of just going through the motions of praise and worship. You deserve so much more than mere lip service!

Saturday, October 30, 2010 (1:21 a.m.)

Lord God,

How I thank You for not letting me fall into that trap. Although I never made it back here to finish up the time started with You, You were never far from my thoughts throughout the day.

Thank You Lord, that there was a request for prayer from our daughter. What an honor and a privilege it is to be invited in to share another’s heart and concerns. Thank You Lord. Thank You.

And now Most Blessed Lord, is the point I wanted to make all those hours ago. The thought of bringing You a gift of laughter changed my whole earlier attitude. Just thinking about it made me smile. Even though a myriad of blessings abound for me every single day, I sometimes find it difficult to truly “Be joyful”. But bringing You a gift of laughter? That’s something I can do!

Reading in verse four that we are to “Enter with the password: ‘Thank you!’ Make yourselves at home, talking praise. Thank Him. Worship Him” encourages me. “Thank You God” often comes readily for me. And even in that I thank You!

Thank You that You ARE “sheer beauty, all-generous in love, loyal always and ever” (v.5). Thank You that You love us and in return we get to love You. What another gift of grace that is! Thank You Lord! I love You. J Amen!

(569 words ~ 2:01 a.m.)

River of Life

Thursday, October 28, 2010 (5:47 a.m.)

Blessed Lord,

You are amazing! Truly, absolutely amazing! My sleep was interrupted. Thoughts of actually parting with many of the things we no longer use were prevalent. Without doubt, this would be the work of the Holy Spirit for which I prayed yesterday afternoon with a dear friend. Thank You Lord.

Thank You too for the song that just brought me out to You again, Billy Joel’s “River of Dreams”. It was once again one of those with which I struggled and doubted. How could the strains ♫In the middle of the night♫ possibly be coming from You?

Ah, but here I am. Repeatedly wandering outside to partake in this early morning parfait of colors You have going on in the sky. How long has it been dearest Lord that I have gotten up early enough to be able to behold the majesty of Your glorious righteousness unfold right before my very eyes? Shades of pink streaking across an azure sky complete with the moon and several stars still shining brightly. I am awestruck Lord! And look. Just like that it’s gone. Muted to a drab, pale yellow. Thank You Lord! Thank You that I didn’t miss such a gift ~ ♫in the middle of the night♫

Blessed Lord, I didn’t know the name of the song when I first looked up the lyrics. The moment [this thought briefly interrupted by another walk outside to behold the return of the pinks and blues of the sky strikingly silhouetting the purples of the mountains! Thank You God! J] I saw the title, I immediately associated it with Your River of Life described for us in Revelation 22:1, 2.

Reading the lyrics again just now, I can only thank You again for this early morning wake up call! There is talk of mountains of faith and a river so deep, looking for something sacred that has been lost, with a river that’s wide and too hard to cross. There’s a valley of fear and something taken out of a soul, a jungle of doubt and something so undefined that it can only be seen by the eyes of the blind.

Lord, it all rings so close to the hope that is only found in Your Word. There’s mention of faith and fear and doubt and truth and through it all I run straight back to the description of “a pure river with the water of life, clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb” (Revelation 22:1).

The songwriter goes on to speak of uncertainty in a life after this but wades into the river that runs to the promised land. There’s a desert of truth, the ocean, streams and being carried on by the river of dreams. Lord, how I thank You for the way You get (and hold) my attention so early in the morning. Thank You Lord for truly another glimpse of glory.

How I thank You as well for the reminder of another ‘middle of a night’ many months ago when I got to ‘go walking in my sleep’ to find our precious son just finishing one of his favored video games. I remember standing entranced by the seeming spiritual nature of its climax. What an added bonus to find it just now connected to the lyrics of this particular song. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JEfz7uNW-_M

Lord, thank You for loving us so much that we may indeed love You and others as ourselves. Thank You for this awesome start to this glorious day. I love You. Amen.

(599 words ~ 7:43 a.m.)

Your kiss

Wednesday, October 27, 2010 (8:32 a.m.)

Blessed Lord,

I LOVE when I wake up excited [agog] to come out here and learn what it is You want me to know more of each day. I especially enjoy it when my repeated thoughts contradict the direction You seem to be heading me.

Take this morning as the perfect example. Before opening my eyes, there was a tune in my mind. Such a catchy melody I almost hummed it out loud to You. Then I recognized what it was and thought that would be highly inappropriate. But as always Lord, You know exactly what You’re doing!

It’s not every day I would take a song from Hall and Oates and sing it back to You. But today I must, ♫because YOUR kiss truly IS on my list of the best things in life♫ I practically ran out here this morning to read what Your Word has to say about Your kiss. And I have NOT been disappointed!

Lord, how I thank You for loving us so much. I sit here honestly wanting to dive right into Your Word. And I don’t mean that figuratively! I turn the pages and read about kisses of: affection, seduction, worship, betrayal and greeting. I feel as though I’m barely getting my feet wet here and I truly long to be immersed in the Truth of Your Good News. I want to soak in it Lord. Taking it into my very pores so that when I leave this time with You and go about my day I am rested, renewed, refreshed, rejuvenated – just as I am reading is the case for those who truly believe and follow Your will and Your way.

Be with me this day as I go about doing whatever it is that You have in mind for me. I love You so very much. Thank You for again reminding me that ♫YOUR kiss is on my list as THE best thing in life♫ I love You so much Dearest Lord. Thank You. Amen.

(335 words ~ 9:50 a.m.)

Life in Christ

Tuesday, October 26, 2010 (7:11 a.m.)

Amazingly Awesome and Wonderful God,

Good morning. And thank You. Thank You for hours of singing to You already this morning. ♫This is the day…♫ ♫Into marvelous light I’m running…♫ ♫With a song in my heart…♫ Thank You for a wonderful way of waking up.

Thank You too for time once again to consider who You are and who I am in You.

(9:43 a.m.)

Lord, after reading chapter three of Paul’s second letter to Timothy I found myself falling back to more restful sleep. Thank You for such peacefulness.

Thank You that before Paul was executed in Rome for loving and boldly preaching about You, he wrote this final letter. Thank You that he wanted to honestly encourage Timothy for the difficulties that lay ahead.

Lord God, how I thank You that he didn’t mince words. Verse 12 plainly tells us, “everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted”. That in itself doesn’t sound too inviting or promising. But he doesn’t just leave us in a state of discouragement.

While he goes on to tell of how bad things will get, this particular chapter ends with hope. “The whole Bible was given to us by inspiration from God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives; it straightens us out and helps us do what is right. It is God’s way of making us well prepared at every point, fully equipped to do good to everyone.”

Life in Christ is not meant to be easy. Things of value and worth rarely are. Thank You Lord for ever reminding me that life in You is a battle with evil. You call us to arm ourselves everyday to the battle that will be at hand.

No wonder the gentle strains ♫O no, You never let go, Through the calm and through the storm O no, You never let go, In every high and every low O no, You never let go Lord You never let go of me♫ have continued singing to me throughout this morning.

Lord, thank You for loving this world so much that You sent Your only Son to save us (John 3:16). Thank You that it is only through life in Him that we have the chance of seeing and being with You one day. Thank You for covering our sins with his blood, giving us an inkling to what true love really is. How I ask You to keep working in me that I will better live my life in Christ. I love You Lord. Thank You. Amen.

(446 words ~ 10:48 a.m.)

abide

Monday, October 25, 2010 (9:42 a.m.)

Blessed, Blessed Lord,

I can’t see the keyboard because of the tears. It was still dark out when I began wondering what You would have for me this morning. In fact, it was as I struggled to fall asleep last night that I first considered how honest I would be with You here today.

Thank You that I get to be completely honest Lord! You know what’s going on in my heart, my soul, my mind and my strength far better than I do. You know the doubts, the wonders, the fears and the disappointments. Can it all be traced back to grief? Tapped or untapped sadness over people and circumstances missed? I don’t know. But You do!

You are God. And You are good and I get to be completely honest with You and say things like, ‘I feel sad’. I don’t feel like myself. I used to think and feel and be and do things so differently.

And here comes Your glorious Good News Lord. Found for me this morning in the Book of John. I am to abide in You. I confess I don’t know the first thing about how to actually do that. I’ve tried. I’ve thought I was. But with the struggle and inner turmoil I’ve been experiencing because things in this world just aren’t what I always thought they were [or could be with enough effort on my part!] again I confess that I have stepped back into being afraid. Of everything! People. Places. Things. Not measuring up. Not being enough. Not doing enough. You name it, I’ll figure out a way to fear it. [Very funny side note: the extremely dear husband just pointed out that he doesn’t want me to be afraid of nouns and verbs J]

Thank You Lord that You came into this world to release us from the strangleholds satan had set for us. Thank You that You are the Light to his darkness (John 12:46). Thank You that You ARE the Way, the Truth and the Life (John 14:6). Thank You that You came to give life abundantly (John 10:10).

Lord, I confess to trying to hide from You in plain sight. As ridiculous as it is, I was afraid to confess to the sadness and loss and fear because You have blessed me so much that I thought I would appear ungrateful. Thank You Lord that I get to just pour out my heart and confusion to You. And in doing exactly that I am able to laugh out loud at my own distortions of reality.

Through the years I have honestly believed that I knew so much truth. And that is just what it has been – truth with a small t! When I come to Your Word ~ tearfully, honestly, openly, I get to catch another glimpse of Your greatness! YOU are Truth [with a capital T]! YOU are what is real.

Thank You Lord that repeatedly this morning I am reminded of the importance of abiding in You. Thank You too for the new to me understanding of the word ‘abide’. It doesn’t just mean ‘live’ as I have thought all these years. No. “Comply with, obey, follow, keep to, hold to, conform to, adhere to, stick to, bear, stand, endure, make at home”. That one word says a mouth full Lord! Wow! Hold to You? Stand in You? Endure in You? Make myself at home in You? Yes Lord. Sign me up!

Thank You that I not only get to be honest with You Lord, but that I get to struggle in that honesty. Your Word promises, “If you abide in My Word, you are My disciples indeed. And you shall know the Truth, and the Truth shall make you free” (John 8:31-32). Blessed Lord, thank You!

Believe in You and not abide in darkness (John 12:46). Loving You, I am to keep Your commandments and You will pray the Father to give me another Helper, that He may abide with me forever (John 14:16). I am to abide in You and You will abide in me (John 15:4). Abiding in You, Your words abide in me (John 15:7). As the Father loved You, You also have loved me; [and here’s the ‘kicker’! I get to] abide in Your love (John 15:9).

It all seems too much Dearest Lord! Ah, but it is exactly enough. Just like You. Perfect. In every way!

Thank You for loving me. Thank You for calling me to honesty. Thank You for this lesson on what it truly means to abide, in YOU! I love You so very much. Amen.

(775 words ~ 12:49 p.m.)

trust in the Lord

Sunday, October 24, 2010 (8:32 a.m.)

Blessed Lord,

Thank You! What an incredible reminder! No matter where my mind went throughout my waking and my sleeping, there You were. Whether reminding me with the melody, or just the words, “Trust in the Lord” came through loud and clear as a counter to any potentially negative thought. Wow, God! That was incredible! YOU are incredible. And awesome! Thank You Lord.

Turning to Your Word once again, it’s not just Proverbs 3: 5 and 6 that hold my attention. Here I am reminded of the blessed benefits found in trusting You. Oh but our glorious God and Father, there is so very much more here than meets the eye!

Reading the entire chapter and notes describing the life found in trusting You, I feel excited. Happy. Pleased. Joyful. Hopeful. It’s when I take my eyes off You to look around at life (and death) that I too often trip over despair and disillusionment. Thank You Lord. Thank You that You would even come to me in the middle of my resting to remind me to trust in You.

Ah, incredibly awesome God. What freedom is found in choosing to look to You! My mind tends to complicate things. We both know that I can take the simplest, most easy concepts and contort them beyond recognition. But You don’t do that! No. You very simply come to me in the middle of my rest and remind me to ♫Trust in the Lord With all your heart And lean not on your own understanding In all your ways acknowledge Him And He shall direct your path♫ How awesome is that? How incredible are You?

Thank You Lord. I don’t have any idea what today may hold. But I DO know that You hold today. And in that I am grateful and absolutely trusting in You. Thank You for Your blessed reminder that You are truly our Blessed Redeemer. I love You so very much Dearest Lord. Thank You for so loving me. Amen.

(340 words ~ 9:54 a.m.)

make a difference

Saturday, October 23, 2010 (8:49 a.m.)

Blessed Lord,

Use me today to make a difference. And not just today, Lord. Tomorrow. And the next one too.

You are so good. You’ve given us so much. I sit around. Waiting. Waiting until I know what You’d have me do and in the mean time wasting. Wasting time, energy, resources. You deserve so much more than I offer up. Use me Lord.

I want to make a difference. I’ve even tried to make a difference. I don’t know that I’ve ever consciously invited You in to be the catalyst for making a difference. Make a difference in me Lord. Make a difference through me.

Here again are areas in which I am powerless. I am very much like the power cord that is not plugged in wondering why an appliance is not working. It’s You Dear Lord. You are the power and the strength I need to be able to make any difference at all.

I love You Lord. I ask. And You answer. I didn’t readily see how Paul’s teaching about the eating of temple meat (1 Corinthians 8) would apply to me making a difference today. It wasn’t until I dug deeper into the chapter that Your overwhelming call for us to love others rang through once again.

Reading about doctrines and what constitutes sin, Your love reigns supreme over all. While we all may know what we believe, causing us to puff up with pride, it is Your humble, faithful follower who admits that no one here has perfect or complete knowledge. We are not called to compromise, but to love.

Claiming to know truth better than others leads to pride, closing minds and doors. It is love, Your love, that allows us to humble ourselves, admitting limited knowledge and working to help one another love You better. How can I make a difference today? By loving You with all my heart and soul and mind and strength and loving others as much as myself (Mark 12:30-31). And how can I do that? Only in You and through You! Come in and make a difference through me Dearest Lord. I love You. Amen.

(364 words ~ 10:12 a.m.)

sleep

Friday, October 22, 2010 (9:41 a.m.)

Blessed Lord God,

Sleep! Long. Deep. Restorative sleep. Thank You Lord. I don’t remember the last time I slept this soundly. Uninterrupted. And my first thought? Thank You God!

Lord, I like when I remember to thank You for the little things. I think I complain too much. That’s exactly why I say “Thank You” so often. Kind of a built in antidote for my tendency toward whining! Thank You God. Thank You that I know I am practically hardwired toward the negative. Thank You that the older I get the more I realize that even gratitude is a choice. I think I used to be more positive. Or was I really just more naïve? Didn’t I tend to look past or turn my head from things I didn’t want to see? Thank You Lord for helping me grow through the struggle of negativity.

Blessed Lord, You are incredible! Throughout my rambling here I’ve been wondering what any of this has to do with sleep. Long. Deep. Restorative sleep. As my mind keeps slipping over to ♫Sing hallelujah to the Lord…♫ I am searching Your Word wondering how complaining and sleep can possibly be related.

And here I am in the book of Psalms. A collection of 150 poems, written by people who were being honest with You.

So Lord, when I think I should censor myself here with You because my heart and my soul and my mind and my strength are all tangled up in knots over what I think and feel and am and do, all this is okay? I’m supposed to bring it all before You just as it is? I don’t have to figure it all out first? Clean it up and tie it with a pretty bow?

Nope. According to what I’m reading, the psalmists used these ‘to demonstrate that God is holy and loving and intimately involved in every aspect of our human experience’. Wow! God, You are amazing! And I thank You for every single little bit of insight I glean from time spent with You in Your Word.

Let’s take Psalm 4:4 and 8 that got me here in the first place. “Complain if you must, but don’t lash out. Keep your mouth shut, and let your heart do the talking… At day’s end I’m ready for sound sleep, For You, God have put my life back together.” How cool are You God? Perfect. Loving. Powerful. Mighty.

And just as I was preparing to close The Life Recovery Bible for today, the word ‘antidote’ jumped off the page at me. Under the title “The Necessity of Forgiveness” I read, “Many of the psalms are intense prayers asking God for forgiveness. What the psalmists discovered was that they could be open and honest before God about their failures, emotions, and weaknesses, because God had promised to forgive them. As we experience God’s forgiveness, we move away from our dependencies and feelings of alienation and guilt and move into an intimate and loving relationship with God. God’s antidote to our past – no matter what our failures and sins – is always forgiveness!”

Oh Your goodness Lord! Your sweet and glorious goodness! Thank You. I love You so much. Let me use Your love and forgiveness this day for Your good. Thank You. Amen.

(557 words ~ 11:40 a.m.)

better

Thursday, October 21, 2010 (8:18 a.m.)

Buffalo Bill’s Resort #105A

Primm, NV

Perfectly Holy God ~

I love You! I was pretty sleepless throughout the night giving me lots of time to consider You and pray for others. Lord, I confess to You, the more time that goes by the more I’m sure I know You less than I thought I did. While I’m grateful to realize that I don’t know all that I thought I knew, I’m feeling more than a little desperate to know You better!

I read Your Word. I nod my head. I know You are EXACTLY what I want and need in my life. And I cringe at the thought that I don’t LIVE in Your peace. Sure, I glimpse moments of Your grace. I HAVE experienced the power and strength of knowing Your Word. But Lord, I confess to not living there! I have an idea in my head and my heart of what that would look like and once again I fall so far short of my own expectations. Just how unrealistic are they Lord?

All this to lead me once again to Paul’s letter to Your holy people in Ephesus. In chapter one, verses sixteen and seventeen he tells them that he’s never stopped thanking God for them ever since he first heard of their strong faith in Jesus and their love for Christians everywhere. He told them of praying constantly, “asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ to give you spiritual wisdom and understanding so that you might grow in your knowledge of God.”

Paul prayed that the Ephesians would know You better. Blessed Lord, it is the desire of my heart not only to know You better, but to love You better as well.

In verses 18-23 Paul prayed that hearts would be flooded with light for understanding of the wonderful future You have promised to those You called ~ a rich and glorious inheritance You have given Your people. His prayer continued for understanding of the incredible greatness of power for us who believe You.

I want Your power Lord! Power to love and follow You better. Taking another liberty with pop lyrics and You Dearest Lord, I find myself singing the chorus of the Black Eyed Peas’ ♫Let’s Get It Started♫ Once again meaning absolutely no disrespect, by looking at their intent of getting lost in the power of music, I am very rhythmically asking You instead to make it so I can get that lost in the power of You! I love You so very much Dearest Lord. Thank You for all You are and all You do on our behalf. Amen.

(450 words ~ 9:31 a.m.)

Godly vs. earthly

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Buffalo Bill’s Resort #105A

Primm, NV

All Mighty and Powerful God ~

WOW!! What an awesome display of Your power we got to witness last night! Lightning like we’ve never seen. Thunder we’ve never heard. And near buckets of rain just dropped from above. In a word Lord ~ WOW!

Thank You that we got to be safe and dry. But as I just this moment realized, not everyone was! Lord, forgive my tendency to think so selfishly about our own safety and comfort without much of a thought about the good of others. Lord, I know You are working in us to get us outside of ourselves and our comfort zone. I must confess even the thought of where that might lead is more than a little scary to me!

You are good. Mighty. Powerful. There is no Godly reason for me to fear anything that has to do with You. It is however the earthly things that keep me afraid. Speak to me this morning Lord, of this very thing! I pray You will teach me to put aside my earthly ways.

The more I read in Your Word Dear Lord, the more convicted I become of my tendency toward selfishness. I WANT to give Lord! I WANT to share. Yet I hoard. I clutch. I grab. I cling. I hold close. I save. I hold on.

Teach me Lord. Teach me to TRULY let go and let You be You. Teach me to learn what it really means to live my life in You and through You. I want to GIVE Lord! Generously. Freely. Cheerfully.

On my way once again to 2Corinthians 9:7, I am stopped by the subtitle of chapter eight. “A Call to Generous Giving”. These are things I have yet to learn Lord. I declare my powerlessness to You. I read through verse 15 and my heart quickens at the idea of one day being able to do as You desire of me. Reading all of chapter nine I have hope that You will one day teach me to truly BE a cheerful giver. An asterisk at verse nine takes me over to Psalm 112 where again I humbly ask, Lord, that You would do in and through me that which I cannot do myself. I love You so much Dearest Lord. Thank You for time with You. Show me how to use it wisely. I love You. Amen.

(409 words ~ 10:25 a.m.)

fam'ly, photos and friends...

Monday, October 18, 2010 (9:58 a.m.)

Blessed Father God,

Fam’ly, photos and friends? Oh my! What a truly loving opportunity of being with family yesterday. And the best part about it? Nobody had to die to get us all together!

Thank You Lord. Thank You for a time to truly just be together. Laughing. Sharing. Remembering. Learning. Truly enjoying and getting to know one another just a little bit better. What a gift, Lord. Thank You.

Thank You too for

Tuesday, October 19, 2010 (7:45 a.m.)

…the interruption from which I never returned. There was rain yesterday that changed all our plans. There were phone calls and then a sadness I didn’t expect. My brother turned 60 and it was his first birthday without our mom. I didn’t know that would hurt me as much as it did.

Thank You that I had the piano to play. Trying not to think about it didn’t help. Paying attention to details of other things didn’t either. Losing myself in the attempt to play better absolutely did. Thank You Lord.

Thank You that music plays such a big roll in worshiping You. Thank You that again this morning I was singing a chorus to You before even opening my eyes. ♫Into marvelous light I’m running Out of darkness, out of shame. By the cross You are the Truth, You are the Life, You are the Way♫ Looking up the lyrics just now my grin is even bigger than it was! ♫…Your kindness wakened me, Awakened me, from my sleep♫

Lord God how I thank You for being such an integral part of our lives. You complete us as individuals, but also as fam’ly and friends. You are what makes the difference in our lives. Plans may change. You never do. You are perfect. Whole.

Blessed God, how I thank You for all You are and all You do. I read Your Word and get excited as I see Your power exhibited over and over again. Too often I give into feelings of discouragement and sadness. In and of myself, I can’t shake or change the way I feel. Every single time I come to Your Word I am reminded of what good company I am in. Your work in Your community of believers is never ending. Thank You that I get to be counted as one of Yours. Thank You that Your love is available for the asking.

As circumstances continue to change Lord, as the unexpected comes to be our norm let me lean more deeply and readily into You. Even as I started this yesterday filled with joy and remembrance of a very happy previous day, today I am reminded of some sad days as well. I give it all to You dearest Lord!

In the book of Acts, Dr. Luke tells us of the time that Paul and Silas had been beaten and jailed unjustly (16:25-34) and still they prayed and sang hymns to You. Given an opportunity to escape, they stayed and witnessed to their jailer on Your behalf. When asked by him what he must do to be saved, “They replied, ‘Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved – you and your household’.”

Lord, I long to be as faithful and obedient as they. Thank You for another time to remember. To look back and see how much we’ve grown. Be with each of us this day as we continue our walk with You. Trusting. Believing. Having faith in You. I love You so much dearest Lord. Thank You. Amen.

(595 words ~ 10:14)

observe

Sunday, October 17, 2010 (7:30 a.m.)

Wow, God!

You are amazing! And I am truly AGOG! Feeling excited and eager to tell that I am so very grateful to You. Lord, thank You for getting [and keeping] my attention this morning. Before I had even opened my eyes, You gave me the word ‘observe’ followed by Petula Clark singing to me of YOUR love.

Lord, I don’t remember the last time I was this excited before even getting out of bed. I am honestly relishing in Your presence right now. Thank You.

I don’t have the power to fix the hurts and disappointments of others. I want to. I even try to. And most often [like last night] it ends disastrously. Thank You that I don’t have to stay amidst the rubble of hurt feelings. Thank You that You are ever present to come to our aid.

And here again is the singing, as if coming directly from You. ♫My love is warmer than the warmest sunshine Softer than a sigh. My love is deeper than the deepest ocean Wider than the sky. My love is brighter than the brightest star That shines every night above And there is nothing in this world That can ever change my love♫

Most dear and wonderful God, how I thank You for a love like that. The words to the next verse are as if I am singing them back to You. ♫Something happened to my heart the day that I met you Something that I never felt before You are always on my mind no matter what I do And everyday it seems that I want You more♫ I DO You know? I DO want you more! All the time!

Thank You that this morning I again get to start out with You in Paul’s second letter to the Corinthians. There is so very much for me to learn here Lord. You gave Paul authority to preach and explain new life in Christ. False apostles challenged this. New believers were torn as to who was teaching Your Truth.

Thank You Lord that Paul wrote this second letter to set the record straight. I am especially drawn to chapter seven, verse eleven, “For observe this very thing, that you sorrowed in a godly manner: What diligence it produced in you, what clearing of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what vehement desire, what zeal, what vindication! In all things you proved yourselves to be clear in this matter.” [See other translations as well]

Lord God, thank You for reminding me that while I am to observe, I don’t necessarily have to jump right in anywhere. I am not to judge, advise, try to fix… Just observe. And love. That I can do. In and through You! All because YOUR ♫love is warmer than the warmest sunshine Softer than a sigh…♫ Thank You Lord. I love You. Amen.

(483 words ~ 8:46 a.m.)

awkward

Saturday, October 16, 2010 (8:47 a.m.)

Blessed Lord,

I am confessing awkward! For over an hour I have avoided starting this because I feel embarrassed that the song I keep singing to You is ♫Hey now You’re a Rock Star♫ And look! Just like that I’m smiling and no longer blocked by it.

Lord, it’s true! I really CAN bring anything before You, not having to be ashamed. Thank You Lord. You really ARE an All Star! No. Scratch that. You are THE All Star of all time!

Yesterday I was able to just enjoy being in Your company. It was awesome. No expectations. No feverish attempts to do or be something I’m not. Just putting one step in front of the other and acknowledging Your many blessings to us.

Thank You Lord. As I continue searching…

(1:15 p.m. cont’d.)

Blessed Lord,

I LOVE how You change my heart’s direction. Ever since confessing ‘awkward’ to You concerning the awakening song, I’ve been singing ♫If any man come after me Let him deny himself, Pick up his cross, and follow me (Matthew 16:24) Into life eternally. Deny yourself, pick up your cross and follow Jesus, He is the way, truth and life♫ (John 14:6).

Reading commentaries pertaining to denying oneself, taking up the cross and following You (Matthew 16:24; Mark 8:34; Luke 9:23) I find myself smiling hopefully as I wonder what life would truly be like should I ever be willing (and most importantly ABLE) to do exactly that.

I read. I hope. I think. I pray. I desire the ability of surrendering all to You and then at the very last moment I chicken out. I change my mind. Nothing could be that easy. There must be a catch. I must work harder! Try more. What do You mean ‘just let go and let You BE You’? What would that even look like?

Oh yeah. I AM learning! You DO keep giving me another glimpse of grace. You keep being God and I’ll keep following You. Teach me more about denying myself, picking up my cross and following You. And maybe ~ just MAYBE the day will come when I actually feel just a little less awkward! I love You SO very much Dearest Lord. Thank You that I get to be Yours! Awkward and all. [And You know what? Your really ARE a Rock Star! J] I love You! Amen.

(403 words ~ 1:45 p.m.)

mindset

Friday, October 15, 2010 (8:32 a.m.)

Blessed Lord,

Thank You! Extra sleep. Readily available songs, and a radically changed mindset. Thank You!

Lord, You know the thoughts that swim so freely in my mind. There are doubts and regrets and things of which to be afraid. There are mistakes. The ones I’ve already made and the ones just waiting for me around the next decision.

But this morning before even opening my eyes I was again singing to You. In Spanish no less! ♫Cantad al Senor un cantico nuevo [Oh sing to the Lord, oh sing God a new song]♫

Lord, I don’t pretend to understand Your ways. I realize they are higher than mine (Isaiah 55:9). There is no way that I can even try to make sense of all You do. But what’s so incredibly cool for me right here and right now is that every single thought that has tried to take me away from what is real and true has been countered with either another song or the search for another verse.

Before getting up I was thinking about how things change. Nothing stays the same or turns out exactly as we plan. Immediately (Matthew 14:31) my mind countered with ♫On Christ the solid Rock I stand: All other ground is sinking sand♫ (Matthew 7:24).

Hand in hand the verses and songs keep coming to me this morning. Thank You Lord. And just like that [SNAP!] I am in tears! Freely streaming down my face. Catching my breath with every reminder of all You are and have for us.

Isaiah 43:19 speaks clearly to the truth that ♫God will make a way Where there seems to be no way He works in ways we cannot see He will make a way for me♫ Thank You Lord! Thank You that I get to trust You with the past, the future, the life You have planned for me. Thank You.

My mindset [established set of attitudes held by someone] of the past was to be afraid. Of everything! It is You and Your Word that can change all that! You love me. Your Word says so again and again. I am not to be afraid for You have ransomed me. You have called me by name; I am Yours (Isaiah 43:1). When I go through deep waters and great trouble, You will be with me. When I go through rivers of difficulty, I will not drown! When I walk through the fire of oppression, I will not be burned up – the flames will not consume me (v.2). For You are the Lord my God, my Savior, the Holy One of Israel (3).

Thank You Lord. You have the power, as well as the love, to change a faulty mindset. Thank You. Thank You for loving each of us so very much Dearest Lord. You are wonderful. Awesome. Incredible. And loved. So very loved. Thank You Lord. I love You. Amen.

(492 words ~ 9:43 a.m.)

attitude

Thursday, October 14, 2010 (12:51 p.m.)

Amazing Lord,

I love You! I keep wandering around You today. I first came before You about six hours ago but I didn’t stay. I drew near to You (James 4:8a). Tiptoed around. Even quoted You. But I kept finding reasons to leave.

Thank You for relentlessly calling me back to You! From one song (♫Cantad al Senor/O Sing to the Lord♫) to another (♫Attitude Dance♫) I am getting Your message Lord. Loud and clear!

I confess to You the non-harmless habits I have slipped back into these past few days. Random ingesting of almost anything that happens to be laying around, watching WAY too much TV. Very little exercise and next to no discipline at all.

Thank You Lord. Thank You for place (Judges 4:9) after place (James 4:8b) in Your Word that are reminding me of the importance of a proper attitude with which to approach You.

Oh Your goodness Lord! No wonder I couldn’t just sit down earlier and tap out words of devotion to You! I keep putting my thoughts and wants for myself ahead of that which You might like to give to me. Let me once again come before You with an attitude of joyful acceptance of all You want for me to have. Peace of mind? Yes! Rest for my soul? Please.

I put myself into the presence of good company as I ask that Paul’s closing words in his second letter to the people of Corinth include me as well. “May the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all.” (2Corinthians 13:14) Amen, Dearest Lord. Amen, indeed!

(285 words ~ 3:16 p.m.)

love

Wednesday, October 13, 2010 (7:33 a.m.)

Beloved Lord,

Let us love one another. My head is very musical this morning. Singing a variety of songs to You. Thinking of You as ‘love’ (1John 4:8,16) I find myself interchanging a word to another Beatles tune. ♫All you need is God, God, God is all you need♫ And we do Lord! We need You so much.

Speak to me this morning about love.

(8:45 a.m.)

And You did. And You are. And I just don’t even know what to do with myself! Lord God, how I thank You for once again reminding me of The Cotton Patch Gospel. Do not let me distort one word of Your Word. Don’t allow me to mislead anybody. But if there is even one person like myself that can be blessed by the work done by the Koinonia Partners, so be it Lord!

I long to share Your love Dearest Lord. Not Your love of my understanding. Your love. You. Will this version http://www.rockhay.org/cottonpatch/index.htm help another become excited to know and love You more? I pray so.

I love You so very much Dearest Lord. Help me love and serve You more. Thank You. Amen.

(199 words ~ 8:53 a.m.)

forgiving and forgetting

Tuesday, October 12, 2010 (7:23 a.m.)

Amazing God,

I love You! You are good. You are holy. And I love You. You keep calling me to You. I continue straggling along. And every time I do, You are here. Waiting. Patiently.

Thank You Lord. I truly straggled the other night, on the streets of San Francisco. The shoes I was wearing caused my feet to start hurting. It was Fleet Week. Trolleys were overcrowded, traffic was congested and tempers were short. A little bit of forgiveness goes an exceptionally long way. Thank You Lord that You are ever present to teach us the importance of forgiving and forgetting. I confess to You Lord, I’m not quite there yet. I’m still straggling.

Thank You that I have Your Word here with me in my straggle.

(10:31 a.m.)

I get to keep reading about You Lord. I am able to grasp just a tiny little bit more of the idea of Paradise and Heaven as You have designed them. Staring again in 2 Corinthians 12, I read to the end of chapter 13. Following a chain of events I am once more reading David’s Song of Praise to You (1 Chronicles 16:7-36) and learning more about what it is to truly worship You.

You encourage and enable me to seek [and find!] more of Your forgiving, all-encompassing love. Having no idea where I am to look for more about forgiving and forgetting, I find myself in Psalm 103. Thank You Lord. Because of Your great love for all, I am reminded that You forgive all my sins (v.3). You ransom me from hell, surrounding me with loving-kindness and tender mercies (4). Filling my life with good things (5) giving justice to all who are treated unfairly (6) You are merciful and tender toward those who don’t deserve it; slow to get angry and full of kindness and love (8). You never bear a grudge, nor remain angry forever (9).

And here’s what I found without even intentionally looking for! “He has removed our sins as far away from us as the east is from the west” (12). You don’t keep a list of my sins. In Your eyes I am clean.

I want to be like YOU Lord! Loving. Merciful. Forgiving and forgetting the slights of others! Thank You for putting the desire to know You and to love You even more in my heart. Thank You. I love You. Amen.

(409 words ~ 11:15 a.m.)

powerlessness

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Embassy Suites Room 303

South San Francisco, CA

Beloved Lord,

Thank You for Your love. Thank You for Your grace and mercy and kindness and blessings. You are so good. Generous. Powerful. And I am not. In and of myself I am none of these things. But in You and through You I get to be more and more like You.

Beloved Lord, I DO want to be more like You! More loving. More kind. More gracious and generous and good.

Talk to me this morning Lord about powerlessness. There are things I think and do of which I am finally beginning to be more aware. There are blessings all around me that I continue missing because I am still unable to see them for what they are.

I keep holding onto things we no longer need because I lack the ability to make good decisions of what to keep, what to store and what to get rid of. This is DEFINITELY an area of powerlessness from me Lord. I am stuck in a lifelong ‘holding’ pattern.

After seeing a completely unexpected awe-inspiring air show over the Golden Gate yesterday, I am more keenly aware of the difference between staying put and moving forward. The practice, precision and attention to detail the Thunderbird, Blue Angel and other pilots must have in order to execute the stunts we were so incredibly inspired by is nothing short of phenomenal! There are maintenance crews and countless people behind all that we saw yesterday, but YOU are the One who ultimately holds it all together! It’s Your air. Your Space. Corny as it can possibly be ~ YOU are the wind beneath their wings!

Having witnessed that kind of power in technology, how can I still find it so darned difficult to ruthlessly sort through everyday, ordinary stuff?

Lord, I look to You for guidance. I depend on You and the mighty power of Your Word (here particularly in 2 Corinthians 12:1-10) to do in and through me that which I am powerless to do for myself.

I love You so much Dearest Lord and I thank You for this opportunity to come before You in my powerlessness. Thank You. Amen.

(374 words)

packing

Friday, October 8, 2010 (6:15 a.m.)

Loving Lord,

Thank You! Yesterday I made the conscious decision to choose You and Your Word. Lord, I don’t remember the last time I got so much done throughout the day, so effortlessly. Truly, it was as though I wasn’t even in charge [I really don’t think I was J] of all I was doing. Items I hadn’t planned to look through were sorted, filed or gotten rid of. That in itself is next to a miracle!

Thank You Lord. Thank You that although I didn’t finish all that I had planned to do, when I recognized I was frustrated, disappointed in one area and tired, I chose to go to sleep. Thank You Lord for much needed rest.

Which brings me right to the task of this fairly early morning. Packing, Lord. That’s where I left off last night. There’s another trip. I want to stay warm enough and wear comfortable shoes without taking too much. I’m coming to You Lord, just like I did yesterday, to see what choices You would have me make.

First off I hold Your Word in my hand, scouring internet translations to find one that mentions ‘packing’. Eugene Peterson’s The Message is the only one I can find. And with each verse my smile gets bigger and my heart lighter, more peaceful.

Lord God, how I thank You for the descriptions of people and demons that were “sent packing” by You and Your followers. The more I read, the more hopeful I become. Lord, how I ask You to teach me to share the glory of Your Good News with others!

In his letter to the Christians in Rome, John Mark (Mark 6: 7-13) told of how You sent Your twelve disciples out two by two. You told them what to take (nothing except walking sticks) where to stay (only at one home in each village) and what to do when not accepted or listened to (shake off the dust from their feet as they left).

“Then they were on the road. They preached with joyful urgency that life can be radically different; right and left they sent the demons packing; they brought wellness to the sick, anointing their bodies, healing their spirits” (vs. 12-13). Now that’s the kind of packing I truly long to do Dear Lord! Take Your joy and share it with others? Yes Lord!

More important than any of the right clothes, help me in not only packing Your joy, but in sharing it freely and willingly with others!

I love You so much Dear Lord. As seemingly effortlessly as You worked in and through me around here yesterday, “Please Sir, I want more”. Thank You Lord. I love You. Amen.

(458 words ~ 7:16 a.m.)

choosing

Thursday, October 7, 2010 (7:01 a.m.)

I’m choosing You Lord,

Just for this very moment of this very day I am choosing to turn to You in my shakiness. I always have the choice to fear or have faith. I get to judge or show grace. I can hurt or heal. Most dear and blessed Lord, thank You that my deepest desire just now was to readily turn to Galatians 5:22 in The Bible Handbook asking You to teach me more about the Fruit of Your Spirit.

Thank You that upon arriving there I found the word “Freedom” in bold print. Reading all the way through the brief theological overview of what Christ’s life, death and resurrection did for us I come to the last sentence. “We are freed to concentrate on loving Jesus and so experience the changes God is working within.”

You set us free. Completely free! I am so used to the rules and expectations of others Lord, that I confess to not knowing exactly what freedom in You is like. I get glimpses of it. There are moments when I take the opportunity to run free and experience the pure joy that comes from such freedom.

Lord, I long to live my life ~ each moment of every day completely in and through You. Here I am asking that You would please teach me not only what that looks like, but how to do it as well.

And You do. I ask. You answer. “Christ Gives Freedom”. Paul reminded the Galatians (5:1-15) that You have set us free! Thank You Lord. Verse 13 tells us that he said, “My friends, you were chosen to be free. So don’t use your freedom to do anything you want. Use it as an opportunity to serve each other with love.” Oh Your goodness Lord. Oh Your sweet and glorious goodness!

Paul reminded that “All the Law says can be summed up in the command to love others as much as you love yourself. But if you keep attacking each other like wild animals, you had better watch out or you will destroy yourselves” (14-15).

Mm, Lord. I thought for sure I was choosing to learn more about the fruit of Your Spirit this morning Lord. Little did I know that You had a bigger lesson for me first. The Learning Bible has this to say about Your Holy Spirit, “For Paul, it is the Spirit who sets free God’s new people and who changes their lives so that they can have peace and be obedient to God (Romans 8:1-17). The Spirit gives them the ability to understand God’s will, to live together in love, to see what the future will bring, and to carry out the different kinds of work that need to be done in the churches (1Corinthians 12-14). The Spirit produces within them the love and the lifestyle God wants for His people (Romans 4:9-13; Galatians 5:22-23).

Lord, how I ask You to keep working in me that I will continue choosing Your freedom over the snares and trappings of this world. I love You Lord. Thank You for the honor, the privilege and the desire of choosing You! Amen.

(534 words ~ 8:03 a.m.)

Moses

Wednesday, October 6, 2010 (7:39 a.m.)

Blessed Lord,

Talk to me this morning Lord. Loudly. Clearly. Plainly. Let me know which of the many thoughts I’ve had so far this morning are from You. What in the Bible do You want me to learn today? Is it about Moses, one of Your great heroes of faith?

How cool it is Lord that his parents had faith to keep him hidden for three months before making a basket out of reeds, covering it with tar, putting him in it and placing it in the tall grass along the edge of the Nile River (Exodus 2:2,3). There is so much to learn here Lord.

While awakening this morning the word ‘stutter’ came to mind. I thought of Moses’ objecting to You right there at the burning bush (3:11) pleading with You about getting tongue-tied [stuttering] and his words getting tangled [stammering] (4:10). This is Moses Lord! Sometimes called “The Father of All Prophets” and “The Seer of God”.

Moses, Lord! Not exactly an eager leader. He balked at Your initial call to him. Moses, whose own mother did all she could for him and then left him in Your hands. Moses, one of the greatest leaders in the entire Old Testament but also one who acted impulsively, without looking to You for advice.

There is so much to learn here Lord. Let me take the lesson! I long to have my own self-doubts and personal fears give You the chance to show Your power. Live in and with and through me Lord that I would truly become a woman known for facing the ups and downs of life with faith in You and a commitment to Your plan. Teach me that it’s more than okay to be an imperfect woman learning to set healthy personal boundaries and still be greatly used by You.

Oh most dear and precious Lord, help me see the words ‘Moses’ and ‘faith’ as practically synonymous. And how cool is it for me right at this moment to fully embrace the fact that the loving lady I was named after had this very last name. Moses. Quite the profound thought to consider this day. Thank You Lord. I love You. Amen!

(374 words ~ 10:06 a.m.)

seek

Tuesday, October 5, 2010 (7:22 a.m.)

Oo-ya Lord!

How’s that for pure praise and adoration? Straight from my heart, just to say “I love You!”

This morning I am seeking You. To be even more exact, I am seeking HOW to seek You. “While Paul was waiting in Athens (Acts 17:16) he was upset to see all the idols in the city.” As he spoke to the various groups of people there, “they invited him to the forum at Mars Hill” (19).

“So Paul, standing before them at the Mars Hill forum, addressed them as follows: ‘Men of Athens, I notice that you are very religious, for as I was out walking I saw your many altars, and one of them had this inscription on it – ‘To the Unknown God.’ You have been worshiping him without knowing who he is, and now I wish to tell you about him. He made the world and everything in it, and since he is Lord of heaven and earth, he doesn’t live in man-made temples; and human hands can’t minister to his needs – for he has no needs! He himself gives life and breath to everything, and satisfies every need there is. He created all the people of the world from one man, Adam, and scattered the nations across the face of the earth. He decided beforehand which should rise and fall, and when. He determined the boundaries. His purpose in all of this is that they should seek after God, and perhaps feel their way toward him and find him – though he is not far from any one of us. For in him we live and move and are! As one of your own poets says it, ‘We are the sons of God.’ If this is true, we shouldn’t think of God as an idol made by men from gold or silver or chipped from stone. God tolerated man’s past ignorance about these things, but now he commands everyone to put away idols and worship only him. For he has set a day for justly judging the world by the man he has appointed, and has pointed him out by bringing him back to life again” (22-31).

Again I read Your Word and see myself. Lord, I confess the far too many times I try to carve You into a god of my own understanding. The Life Recovery Bible has this to say, “Even though God may be unknown to us, He is near and willing to reveal Himself. God promised ‘You will find me when you seek me, if you look for me in earnest’ (Jeremiah 29:13). Turning over our will involves becoming willing to accept God as He is, instead of insisting on creating Him in our own image. When we seek God with an open heart and mind, we will find Him.”

Once again, You provide my every need. I confessed to not knowing HOW to seek You and I end up reading “with an open heart and mind”. Thank You Lord for providing our every need. Help me seek You this day that I would find You. I love You so very much. Amen.

(530 words ~ 8:45 a.m.)

Sing to the Lord

Monday, October 4, 2010 (6:24 a.m.)

Blessed Lord,

What a difference from yesterday. That’s when I woke up singing to You. Decisive. Confident. Sure. This morning I’m back to wondering what You would have me do today.

“Trust in the Lord” (Proverbs 3:5) “Shout to the Lord” (Psalm 98:4) “Sing to the Lord for He has done wonderful things. Make known His praise around the world” (Isaiah 12:5). Mm. Yes. Sing. Praise. Tell.

Tell of Your mercies Lord? I confess I don’t know how. I say too much. Or too little. Sometimes I say nothing at all. You are good and mighty to be praised! And I DO hide Your light under a bushel, just as the children’s song warns us not to.

You ARE the light for the world! (John 8:12; 9:5) And I am blessed because of that truth. You shine Your light on my fear and failings. You give me hope to carry on. Give me also Your words, Your courage to share You with others Lord.

Because I don’t want to make a mistake by saying too much, I remain silent. While minding my Ps and Qs, dotting my I’s and crossing all my T’s so I don’t make a mistake, I get lost in the details and say little of eternal value. Forgive me Lord. You HAVE done wonderful things! Your praise IS to be made known around the world! Let me at least begin doing that by singing to You Lord.

♫Oh sing to the Lord, oh sing God a new song… For Christ is the Lord! Amen! Alleluia! Oh, sing to our God, Oh sing to our God♫

Lord, as much as I say that I love You, help me to share You as well. Thank You for Your blessings, Your promises, Your future, Your kindness, Your goodness, Your love, You! ♫Amen! Alleluia!♫ Amen.

(309 words ~ 8:41 a.m.)

I remember!

Sunday, October 3, 2010 (6:52 a.m.)

Most Blessed Lord God,

I remember! How incredible are You that the very first thing I woke up to this morning was the thought that “THIS is the day that the Lord has made! I WILL rejoice and be glad in it.” (Psalm 118:24) The next thing I knew I was singing it, even before my eyes were open.

Lord, how I thank You that I DO have the choice of complaining and being bad or mad or sad in this day You have made. Thank You that for this very moment I am choosing joy and gladness.

Thank You also Lord that even as I found myself wishing I had some type of protective coat around me to ward off taking things personally and getting hurt feelings, I remembered You provided that very thing long ago. Paul wrote of it in his letter to the Ephesians (6:11). “Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand safe against all strategies and tricks of satan.”

I remembered all during these past two weeks that holding and nursing a grudge was not what You would have me do. I even remembered the devil had snares set up all around for me to fall into.

What I didn’t remember on my own was that ‘my strength must come from the Lord’s mighty power within me’ (v.10). AND that “we are not fighting against people made of flesh and blood , but against persons without bodies – the evil rulers of the unseen world…” (12).

Thank You Lord that even while I insisted in complaining instead of rejoicing and being mad instead of glad, You didn’t give up on me. You knew I needed to remember to “use every piece of God’s armor to resist the enemy whenever he attacks,” ‘and when it is over I will still be standing up’ (13).

Again I remember the importance of dressing myself everyday with ‘the strong belt of truth and the breastplate of Your approval’ (14). I must ‘wear shoes that are able to speed me on as I share the Good News of peace with You (15). In every battle I will need faith as my shield to stop the fiery arrows aimed at me by satan (16). And I will need the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit – which is the Word of God (17).’

Thank You Lord that You work so hard to remind me that in every instance I must ‘seek first Your kingdom and Your righteousness’ (Matthew 6:33). Thank You that You never give up on me especially when I am behaving most selfishly. Thank You that I get to remember and sing loudly [even if for now it’s all still in my head J] ♫This the day, this is the day That the Lord has made, that the Lord has made We [I! J] will rejoice, we will rejoice, And be glad in it, and be glad in it! This is the day that the Lord has made, We will rejoice and be glad in it! This is the day, this is the day That the Lord has made.♫

Hallelujah Jesus! Thank You for helping me to remember! I love You. Amen.

(546 words ~ 7:56 a.m.)

the struggle within

Saturday, October 2, 2010 (7:21 a.m.)

Most Holy God,

Thank You! Thank You that once again I got to struggle with myself to the break through point. Knowing that I had a choice between life [forgiveness] and death [grudge holding] (Deuteronomy 30:19) I chose the latter. Repeatedly!

Forgive me Lord. I was very well aware that I was playing around with anger. I didn’t have to. I could have let it go. But I kept going back over to it. Poking at it. Nursing it until it fully began taking on a life of its own. And by then I was back to a very old pattern of thinking I could quit any time I wanted.

It took almost two weeks for me to finally work my way over to Paul’s letter to the Romans and remember once again what good company I am in. Here I find that I am NOT the only person to ever know what it is I am to do [FORGIVE, in this particular case] and not do it (Romans 7:19a). As well as knowing that I am to ‘try not to do wrong’ [take things personally and speak ill of others] and ‘do it anyway’ (19b).

Lord, there is freedom and power in Your Word! When I am stubborn and stiff-necked I am ultimately choosing death. Thank You that You came to give us life. “So you see how it is: my new life tells me to do right, but the old nature that is still inside me loves to sin. Oh what a terrible predicament I’m in! Who will free me from my slavery to this deadly lower nature? Thank God! It has been done by Jesus Christ our Lord. He has set me free.” (23-25)

Blessed Lord, last night was the first time that I ever looked at this type of behavior as an addiction. Knowing that I shouldn’t do something and doing it anyway? That’s pretty powerless! Spinning myself into near crazy making because I don’t have the power and strength in and of myself to just let something [an ill chosen comment] go instead of building a fortress of self-righteous indignation? That’s not a healthy attitude!

Focusing on the negative. Magnifying it to make myself look more like a victim of circumstance is just plain taxing! It takes a lot of energy to be that mean and spiteful. Thank You Lord for showing me that this truly IS a form of unhealthy addiction. There are many areas where I stand the chance of sinking right back into old putrid behaviors. Thank You that You came to save me from myself! Thank You that You will continue Your work in me until I actually get to see You face to face. Thank You that I am NOT alone in my struggle within. You are here with me. Constantly calling me to a better way. YOUR Way, Your Truth, Your life (John 14:6).

Because of You dearest Lord I am not alone in my diseased soul. You will only forgive me to the extent that I forgive others (Matthew 6:12). Thank You for working in me through this extremely tough lesson. I feel exhausted, as well as exhilarated! Truly agog with another glimpse of Your grace! Thank You Lord. I love You! Amen.

(553 words ~ 9:18 a.m.)