desire

“Fat” Tuesday, February 16, 2010 (6:56 a.m.)

Most Holy God,

Thank You! Thank You for the desire to know You more. Yes Lord. Thank You for desire!

On this particular day, officially set for excess, thank You that I instinctively desire You more than anything. Thank You Lord, that it IS to Your will and to Your way that I aspire and ascribe.

Late last night I got to fall asleep with my heart singing ♫Word of God speak♫ and just now it started again. Thank You Lord that even in turning in Your Word to look up more about desire, I find “Charity’s Heart Song”. It’s associated with Psalm 19:14 and although I’m unfamiliar with it, it speaks straight to my own. ♫O Lord, fill my heart, fill it up with You. O Lord, take my heart, make me more like You. May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart, Be acceptable to You. May Your love in my life be a light to the world. That keeps on shinin’ through. O Lord, fill my heart, fill it up with You♫

This past weekend Lord, I broke. As I sobbed in the church service and sat unable to speak in the prayer room afterward, I knew You were ready to do a great thing in my life. (Actually You’ve BEEN ready, Lord! It’s me that was a little slow accepting Your offer!) I don’t know what it is You have for me, but I do know that it is absolutely Your will and Your way I desire more than anything!

♫Word of God speak Would You pour down like rain Washing my eyes to see Your majesty To be still and know That You’re in this place Please let me stay and rest In Your holiness Word of God speak♫

And You do… Psalm 40:6 The Message, “You’ve opened my ears so I can listen.” And not just listen Lord. I long to obey! Verse eight in the NIV is what originally brought me to this text, “I desire to do Your will, O my God; Your law is within my heart.”

Eugene Peterson transcribes verses seven and eight this way, “So I answered, ‘I’m coming. I read in Your letter what You wrote about me, And I’m coming to the party You’re throwing for me.’ That’s when God’s Word entered my life, became part of my very being.”

Yes Lord! Your Word, part of my very being! Thank You Lord.

Thank You too for Pastor Ed’s lesson on Mark 10:23-52 this past Sunday about Jesus’ question, “What do you want Me to do for you?” Lord, I asked You to give me the courage to change. And You are. You are helping me see things in present time, while they are happening, and helping me address them in Your language of love.

Thank You Lord that I am getting to recognize situations for what they are and to stand firm instead of wilting away. I love You Lord. What do I want from You? Serenity (to accept the things I cannot change) Courage (to change the things I can) and Wisdom (to know the difference!)

I’m going up against a three year old “Goliath” tomorrow Lord. A three year old, for whom the very sight, sound or mention of me takes her to tears. I’ve tried all these years Lord, in my own strength, power and ideas to overcome the damage it does to my self-esteem to represent such sadness to this precious little one. This time Lord, prepare me, much as You prepared David (1 Samuel 17:1-58) with faith in You to overcome the biggest giants. Provide all that is needed to allow Your ‘peace which passes understanding to guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus’ (Philippians 4:7) ever reminding me that “I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength” (v.13) ~ even going up against a three year old.

I love You Lord. Thank You for ALL You are doing in our lives. Amen.

(677 words ~ 8:24 a.m.)