avoiding

Monday, November 30, 2009 (8:21 a.m.)

Beloved Lord,

Am I avoiding You this morning? Four hours ago I thought about meeting with You, but my eyes weren’t fully open. Two hours later, my eyes were open but my thoughts continued elsewhere. Now, I’m here ~ but am I really?

Lord, I love You. Consciously, purposefully I turn to You asking, what would You have of me today Dear Lord? Without distraction, putting You first, where shall we go together?

My husband’s continuous humming of ♫Octopus’ Garden♫ draws my mind to images of being under the sea, in the shade, let in… by You!

I realize it’s a stretch. But Lord, how easy is it that I speak to other’s about music, books, television and movies. It’s only when I come to those that don’t know You that I hesitate inviting them ♫to come and see, An Omnipotent’s Garden with me♫

Lord, You know I mean no disrespect! I read words about being ♫warm below the storm♫ resting our head(s) on the sea bed, singing and dancing around because we can’t be found, shouting and swimming about the coral that lies beneath the waves, experiencing the ♫joy for every girl and boy Knowing they’re happy and they’re safe♫

Most Holy God, what a freeing opportunity to know (beyond a shadow of doubt) that we are safe with You! I can’t even begin to express the hope that seeps into my very being as I read Paul’s encouraging words in his first letter to Timothy.

As he drew this letter to a close, he urged his dear friend (6:20-21a The Message) to, “guard the treasure you were given! Guard it with your life. Avoid(ing) the talk-show religion and the practiced confusion of the so-called experts. People caught up in a lot of talking can miss the whole point of faith.”

Oh my Dearest Lord, I read these verses in four different interpretations and each one entices me further. The New International Version says, “Timothy, guard what has been entrusted to your care. Turn away from godless chatter and the opposing ideas of what is falsely called knowledge, which some have professed and in so doing have wandered from the faith.”

The Living Bible puts verse 21 very simply, “Some of these people have missed the most important thing in life – they don’t know God. May God’s mercy be upon you. Sincerely, Paul.”

Beloved Lord, if I should have to go about avoiding things, let it never be You. I love You SO much! Thank You for loving me first. Amen.

(431 words ~ 9:44 a.m.)

cherish

Sunday, November 29, 2009 (6:25 a.m.)

Lord,

This morning I want to learn how to cherish You. And Isaiah 51 is speaking directly to me about this.

Lord, how I thank You for answering my prayers often before I even know what to ask. My eyes weren’t even open this morning when the song Cherish began singing itself to me.

♫Cherish is the word I use to describe All the feeling that I have hiding here for You inside♫ Lord, how grateful I am to be able to come here before You wanting nothing more than to learn more about how it is that I am to love and follow You.

This morning I have no hidden agenda. I am here with You because I want to be. I know what everyday holds for me when I don’t first bathe myself in Your presence. You are who I want to pattern myself after. Left to my own devices, my first inclination always is to fear.

Father, thank You that You have so much more to offer me than to continue being afraid. Thank You for having Isaiah ‘confront the people of Judah with their sin and denial and then to inspire them to rebuild their lives based on Your promises.’ Dearest Lord, it is Your Holy Word that allows me to hope each day.

“Listen to me, you who know the right from wrong and cherish my laws in your hearts: don’t be afraid of people’s scorn or their slanderous talk” (Isaiah 51:7). Lord, I grew up being afraid. I desperately feared the thoughts and judgments of others. Truly terrified of not measuring up. Not making the grade.

Thank You Lord that You want us to fear YOU, not others! Thank You that again and again You offer glimpses of Your bigger picture to us. This is not the life of which we are to be focused and concerned. No. It’s our life with You that matters most.

Lord, I am so used to concerning myself with what others think and say about me. Please continue changing that in me. Redirect the fearful energy I have misplaced in caring so much about things that don’t bring or sustain life to practicing more what it really is to cherish You as much as I know You already cherish me.

Change me Lord that I would truly love, honor and cherish You as You so rightly deserve. I love You so much Lord. Help me do it better! Thank You for all You are and all You do on our behalf. I love You. Amen.

(430 words ~ 7:09 a.m.)

getting better

Saturday, November 28, 2009 (8:50 a.m.)

Mm. Most Holy God,

Father, Friend, Blessed Lord… Thank You for the opportunity to come before You exactly as I am. The words to a Beatles song singing again and again in my mind until I finally looked them up. ♫I’ve got to admit it’s getting better A little better all the time♫

Lord, I confess to You that I’m far more willing to look up a “Christian” themed song when it sings out to me, than I am a pop cultured one. And look what I would have missed!

My intent here Lord is never to alter the meaning of things to my own understanding. I don’t ever want to imply that what I’m getting out of a specific reading of something is what was actually meant by its author. What would You have me do when I see myself in someone else’s own creativity?

Mm, Lord. I love the contemplation of finding evidences of You in the simplest of places. ♫I have to admit it’s getting better Since You’ve been mine♫

Truly Lord, I can’t imagine my life without You at the center of it! ♫Me used to be an angry young (wo)man Me hiding me head in the sand You gave me The Word, I finally heard I’m doing the best that I can♫

I’m convinced The Beatles didn’t have You in mind when they penned this song, but I look at it and my heart just screams “YES! ♫I admit it’s getting better A little better all the time Yes, I admit it’s getting better Since You’ve been mine♫”

Most blessed God I take these words to Your Word (John 11) and read of Lazarus’ sickness and resultant death. I find hope in verse four when You heard that ‘your good friend’ was ‘very, very sick’ and said, “The purpose of his illness is not death, but for the glory of God. I, the Son of God, will receive glory from this situation.”

Oh Your goodness Lord! Oh Your sweet, blessed goodness!

Further along in the chapter, You continued speaking truth to Your disciples and they, right there in Your presence, misunderstood what You were saying. You told them (v. 11) “Our friend Lazarus has gone to sleep, but now I will go and waken him!” And they (v. 12) “thinking You meant he was having a good night’s rest, said, ‘That means he is getting better!’”

We jump to conclusions Lord. I view circumstances through my own limited scope of understanding. How I ask You to improve my spiritual vision Lord that I would continue seeking You in the situations of our everyday life. I love looking to You Lord. Trusting, believing that I’m ♫Getting so much better all the time♫ Because of You dear Lord. Always, only, because of You!

Thank You Lord. I love You. Amen.

(478 words ~ 10 :18 a.m.)

broken

Friday, November 27, 2009 (8:45 a.m.)

Father God,

You are good! You amaze me. And in You I find peace and love and hope and joy. Thank You Lord.

Thank You that thirty minutes ago I sat down here crying out to You to “help me”. I looked up several Bible verses using those exact words. But You would have none of it. Nope. That was MY agenda!

Yours is better Lord. SO much better!

Yesterday was a pretty easy day for giving thanks. Things went well. People got along. Until…

My feelings took over. I sat. I watched. I listened. I felt. Sad. For other people… Lord, You know my experience with this better than I. That’s why I was going to ask You to ‘help me’. But no. You knew better.

You knew You wanted me to see my brokenness. “It is a broken spirit You want – remorse and penitence. A broken and contrite heart, O God, You will not ignore” (Psalm 51:17).

That’s why You would not let me ignore the singing of ♫Take these broken wings♫ I know, cheesy as it sounds, You continue to speak to me at a level that I can grasp. ♫Baby I don’t understand Why we can’t just hold onto Each other’s hands… Take these broken wings And learn to fly again Learn to live so free When we hear the voices sing The Book of Love (MY emphasis!) will open up And let us in…♫

The Book of Love! YOUR Book of Love! That’s what we are to be living. YOUR love! Not something we try to manufacture or sustain on our own. No. Your Love! Your absolute and perfect love!

Take my broken wings, Lord. My broken spirit. My broken and contrite heart. And let me learn to fly again through Your Book of Love. ♫Learn to live and love so free♫ exactly as You would have me live and love!

I love You so much Lord. ‘Help me’ do it so much better. In Your Precious Son’s name I pray. Amen.

(344 words ~ 9:40 a.m.)

giving thanks

Thanksgiving Thursday, November 26, 2009 (5:51 a.m.)

Blessed God,

Thank You! Today we have a full-fledged national holiday reserved especially for giving thanks. Thanks to whom? For what?

Lord, I’m confessing to You right now that for far too long I’ve made this particular holiday far more about the food and the traditions behind them than I have about the people right here in front of me.

Lord, this year may I please do it better? Starting with the song of my heart already ♫Give thanks with a grateful heart; give thanks to the Holy One, Give thanks because He’s given Jesus Christ His Son…♫

Yes Lord! This is the way I want to start this day. Singing praises of love and thanksgiving to YOU. Blessed Lord, how I ask that You would be the focus of our day.

Today we have an opportunity we’ve not had in MANY years. Four generations will be represented under the same roof. In past years Lord, this gifted occasion was trivialized far more than it was treasured. Lord, today I ask that not to be the case.

As I read Psalm 100, “A Psalm. For giving thanks.” Dear Lord, how I ask Your blessings on this nation, in Your people, on our neighbors, in our families, our homes, our very selves.

Lord, You are so incredibly wonderful! You deserve FAR more recognition and acknowledgement than one football day filled with far more food than we could ever hope to eat, strategically placed the day before “Black Friday” which secularly leads us into another distorted time of ‘preparing ourselves’ to honor the awesome birth of Your precious Son.

Oh Most Blessed God, save us from the insanity of it all! Turn us back to the days that we truly would, “Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth. Worship the Lord with gladness; come before Him with joyful songs. Know that the Lord is God. It is Him that made us, and we are His; we are His people, the sheep of His pasture.” (1-3)

Most Dear and Holy God, I read these words and I want to take them IN me this day! Reading them in The Message brings it even closer to reality for me. “A Thanksgiving Psalm ~ On your feet now – applaud God! Bring a gift of laughter, sing yourself into His presence.”

Oh that I would Dear Lord! Sing myself into Your presence… ♫I will enter His gates with thanksgiving in my heart I will enter His courts with praise I will say ‘this is the day that the Lord has made’ I will rejoice for He has made me glad…♫ (v.4)

Lord, thank You for an extremely unexpected early morning phone call from our ‘just and righteous gift from You’ just now. Thank You for the opportunity to start this day off by sharing Your Word, deeply embedded memories and songs of thanksgiving and praise with one another.

Thank You Lord. May I take You with me today as our continued reason for giving thanks. I love You Lord. Thank You. Amen.

(516 words ~ 7:19 a.m.)

surprise

Wednesday, November 25, 2009 (5:16 a.m.)

Awesome God,

Thank You Lord. What a nice surprise! Mm, yes! A lovely surprise indeed! The house is quiet. No one else here is yet awake. I get to be alone with just You and Your Word. No outside distractions. Mm. Nice surprise!

Thank You Lord for the eagerness with which I came out here to You. It wasn’t my original plan. This is a time I am genuinely enjoying Your surprise for me. Sadly, I must confess that is not always the case. Too often I moan or groan at a situation I think is not to my liking. Today Lord, I ask that You would help me be grateful and gracious to whatever surprise may come my way.

Mm, Lord. You are so good. You offer us so much joy. How often do I refuse You and Your gifts to me because I just don’t recognize You or them? Help me pay attention to You today Lord.

Again I have turned to Ezekiel. In The Bible Handbook I get to read articles about “Free Will/Human Responsibility”, Your Spirit and Your Glory. Oh most dear and ever providing God, how I thank You for Your generosity and Your grace.

Thank You for redemption and hope. Thank You that we are not called to life in You to live filled with discouragement, despair or disillusionment. NO! You’ve called us to a much grander life. A life lived in You, by You, for You, with You. Why am I always so surprised by Your intense love for each of us Dear Lord?

Your love that is always available, ever hopeful, healing and forgiving. Thank You Lord. Thank You that as I read of Ezekiel’s surprise at the ‘many trees growing on both sides of the river’ (47:7) I am surprised by my own tears.

I read the accompanying comments and insights of Your glory and Your goodness. Lord, I get to be reminded (again!) of Your love and forgiveness toward each of us. Oh how I ask You Lord to work in me this day bringing me ever closer to the me You would have me be. Now that would be a nice and lovely surprise indeed! Thank You Lord, in advance. I love You. Amen.

(379 words ~ 7:07 a.m.)

from thinking to thanking

Tuesday, November 24, 2009 (6:28 a.m.)

Blessed Lord,

I love You. With all the (way too many) thoughts I had all night long, I wish I had come out here much sooner and just said that to You straight out. Instead, I tossed. I turned. I twisted. I rolled. But far more than that, I thought and contemplated (profoundly and at length). My thoughts projected hours, days, even weeks into the future. Sadly Lord. None of my thinking turned into thanking until just now.

Lord, You are so good. So holy. Thank You that You love us so much. Thank You that just now when trying to find a certain song that just started singing to me, I found it on the very first attempt.

♫Ohh praise Him! Ohh praise Him! He is Holy! He is Holy! Turn your ear To Heaven and hear The noise inside The sound of angels’ awe The sound of angels’ songs And all this for a King We could join and sing “All to Christ our King!”♫

Lord, I confess to some dizziness I’ve been feeling the last few days and a bit of a headache that keeps trying to gain my attention. I keep ignoring them Lord. Hoping they’ll just go away. Rather than pushing them aside Lord, would You please teach me how to embrace them that I would learn whatever it is that You may be wanting me to know? Make me aware. Alert. Yes Lord, keep me alert to the things You want me to know!

(9:44 a.m.)

Mm. Most Blessed Father, how I thank You for sticking with me as my thoughts continue flitting around. You keep drawing me back to Your Word, to Your promises. Your ‘source of hope’. Mm. Thank You Lord!

Paul wrote his first letter to the Thessalonians ‘to commend the believers there for their trust in You, to encourage them to continue trusting him and to reassure them that Christ would return.’ I read the page of introduction to this book in my Life Recovery Bible and I see traces of Your faithfulness to Your people.

Paul, Silas and Timothy first traveled to Thessalonica on their second missionary journey. “Many people there who had worshiped idols turned their lives over to God, and for this Paul commended them. The believers in Thessalonica had gone from a life of dependency upon material things and empty ritual to a life of serving the living and true God.”

Uh. Hello, God? I long to be that devoted to You!

In chapter two, verse 4 Paul wrote, “For we speak as messengers from God, trusted by Him to tell the truth; we change His message not one bit to suit the taste of those who hear it; for we serve God alone, who examines our hearts’ deepest thoughts.” Oh, yes Lord. I want to be consistent with Your Word!

‘But wait! There’s more!’ Further along in verse 13, “And we never stop thanking God for this: that when we preached to you, you didn’t think of the words we spoke as being just our own, but you accepted what we said as the very Word of God – which, of course, it was – and it changed your lives when you believed it.” Oh most Holy God, I want lives to be changed because I would know how to share Your Word accurately with others!

And now, as my time here with You has to come to a close, how I thank You for one more little glimpse of Your gentleness. This little reminder of Your leading me in The Bible Handbook. An entry regarding 1 Thessalonians 2:13 entitled simply, “Thanksgiving”. Perfect Lord! You are indeed perfect.

Thank You for taking me from thinking to thanking! I love You. Amen.

(625 words ~ 10:14 a.m.)

challenge

Sunday, November 22, 2009 (7:02 a.m.)

Much Loved Lord,

Mm. Just to sit here, taking in Your presence is such a gift Oh Lord. To be able to consider all the ways in which You love us is wonderful.

I could try to thank You for all You do and give and are and would never be able to come close. Hmm, I wonder. Could I attempt just for this day to be aware, be alert, be actively seeking physical evidences of Your goodness, Your mercy, Your grace in our lives?

Mm. Yes Lord! That seems like a mighty big challenge. And just for today, I want desperately to be up to the task!

You Lord, deserve my honor, my praise. You already have my love. Teach me to live in and through that love with everyone I come across. I have lived my life in self for so long. It IS going to be quite the challenge, Lord. Ah, but quite the adventure as well!

Lord, I love You so much. Every time I come before You willingly and lovingly, without preconceived expectations, You bless me. Just like now. Daniel 4:34-37 tells of King Nebuchadezzar’s return to sanity after having been ‘driven away from people and ate grass like cattle…’ (v. 33)

Monday, November 23, 2009 (11:42 a.m.)

Most Holy God, How I thank You for the challenge of yesterday. Allow me once again to focus on ‘not only loving much, but well’ (Philippians 1:9 TM). That I would indeed “Learn to love appropriately.”

And as You do this mighty work in me Lord, how I ask that You teach me to more readily and properly honor my mom as directed in Exodus 20:12. Lord, I wholeheartedly confess to You that I don’t know how to do that.

I do things for and with her, but where is the honoring? http://doulomen.tripod.com/sermons/Ex20_12.htm

Lord, thank You for answering me when I take the time to ask. Again I will confess to knowing that I can’t do any of this on my own, without You. Ah, but here comes Connor’s currently favorite verse immediately to mind, “For I can do everything God asks me to with the help of Christ who gives me the strength and power” (Philippians 4:13).

Yes Lord, it will continue being Your strength and power that ultimately teaches me how to honor You by honoring her. Lead me that I would follow. Teach me that I would learn Lord. I love You so much Dear Lord. Help me show You how much by my obedience to Your command. Thank You Lord. I love You. Amen.

(437 words ~ 12:28 p.m.)

goodness

Tuesday, November 17, 2009 (9:56 a.m.)

Carnival Elation ~ Cabin U112

“At Sea” (off Catalina?)

Oh Your Goodness Lord!

Oh, Your Holy, amazing goodness! I don’t even know which way to turn Dear Lord! There are so many blessings! Where do I even begin to thank You for them all?

Is it to say thank You for such an amazing husband that booked this incredible adventure and wanted desperately to include his mother-in-law in it? How about the peaceful, calm, lake-like waters upon which we are currently cruising? Lord. You are amazing!

There are so many friendly, helpful people and so much to see and do. You are amazing Lord. Truly amazing!

I sit here in solitude on this fabulous balcony, not wanting to do anything else but commune with You. Looking at the sun’s reflection on the water, I see a combination of twinkle lights and diamonds and I claim them as Your gift to me. Another glimpse of Your goodness Lord. Your amazing, generous goodness.

As I sit here contemplating Your Word (Hebrews 6:5; 19) and ‘singing to You a new song’ (Psalm 96:1) by keeping the tune but changing the words ♫Holy is the Name [Blessed Be Your Name]♫ Lord, I am blessed!

More songs come to my heart, my mind, my soul quicker than I can even begin to sing them. ♫Lord of all creation Of water earth and sky The heavens are Your Tabernacle Glory to the Lord on high God of Wonders beyond our galaxy You are Holy, Holy The universe declares Your Majesty And You are Holy, Holy…♫ and then especially, ♫Lord, You Are More Precious than silver. Lord, You are more costly than gold. Lord, You are more beautiful than diamonds. And nothing I desire compares to You♫ (Proverbs 3:14,15).

Thursday, November 19, 2009 (11:15 a.m.)

U112 ~ Ensenada (“Enchilada”), MX

Mm, Most Good and Holy God,

Thank You Lord! Thank You for the last two mornings of waking up remembering that ♫This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice. I will rejoice and be glad♫

It’s not yesterday or tomorrow or the day after or before that. No, it’s today that I am to rejoice and be glad. Regardless the circumstances or locale, THIS is the day that You have made! I WILL rejoice and be glad! (Psalm 118:24)

Thank You God! Thank You for an early morning [9:00 a.m. – not exactly early according to non-cruise life] one mile “on deck for the cure” breast cancer awareness walk coming into the harbor. What an incredible way to start the day.

Thank You too for actual hunger in the morning for which to join my mom and husband for breakfast. Lord, how I am being made even more aware by others of the blessing that I still have in my mom. Blessed Father God, I am truly asking that You would enable me to more fully appreciate EXACTLY what we have in her!

Rather than rejoicing and being glad with where she is today, I fondly/bitterly recall the yesteryears and fearfully anticipate the tomorrows. ♫THIS is the day that the Lord hath made... I will rejoice in it!♫ Help me remember this!

Psalm 118:22-23, “The stone rejected by the builders has now become the capstone of the arch! This is the Lord’s doing, and it is marvelous to see!” Blessed God, I confess to rejecting Mom’s current health and mental restrictions. Rather than embracing them (and her!) I hold her at arms length. I help keep her safe. I want her to feel loved. Far too often though Lord, I know I ‘tolerate’ her much more than I treasure her.

“THIS is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it.” (v.24) I don’t want to continue rejecting these circumstances Lord. Truly, I WANT to rejoice and be glad in them!

You are truly good! You know exactly what You are doing. I want to trust You with every aspect of my being. “O Lord, please help us. Save us. Give us success.” (v.25)

I would not have chosen for myself this role of giving care to a dementia-impaired parent. In fact, You saw better than anyone how long and hard I rejected this particular ‘stone’. It truly is because of Your goodness that I get to continue catching glimpses of Your mercy and grace throughout this whole process.

You are building us into a masterpiece I could never have even hoped to imagine and for that Dear God, I truly rejoice and am glad in it! Thank You Lord. I love You. Amen.

(773 words ~ 12:30 p.m.)

Beloved

Monday, November 16, 2009 (2:26 a.m.)

♫Beloved,

♫Let us love one another… ♫ (1John4: 7-8). Lord, I’ve been awake for more than two hours. Singing praises and trying to remember everything else that needs to be packed.

Most Beloved Father, I truly felt joy yesterday. For the very first time in such a long while and I thought for sure it would sustain me through this week’s cruise with my mom. This morning, already, there are feelings of doubts and uncertainty. I don’t want to stay focused on all the things that could potentially go wrong. Instead I consciously look to You asking simply that You, Our Beloved Father, would truly teach us how to love one another.

Yesterday, Lord, I was blessed by a freedom that I can’t remember having experienced in such a long time. There was such a matter-of-fact approach to all the things that needed to be taken care of. One thing just flowed right into the next and before we knew it the day was over and I truly felt blessed by the whole experience.

Thank You God for the recognition of the sound of joy ringing in my voice. I heard it enough times that I actually asked my husband if he could hear it too. Thank You Lord that he did. What a blessing You are to us! Thank You for the love, the peace, the joy You’ve so freely given us these past few days.

Moving right on down the list of the Spirit’s fruit (Galatians 5:22-23) I’m going to ask Dear Lord, that today we would be blessed with Your patience. Kindness would be appeciated as well.

Lord, I love You so much. Because of Your generous, gracious love for each of us again I truly ask, ♫Beloved, let us love one another, For love is of God, And everyone that loveth is born of God, And knoweth God. He that loveth not, knoweth not God, For God is love. Beloved, let us love one another, First John four: seven and eight♫

Oh Most Dear and Blessed, Beloved God, I love You so much. Thank You for the blessings You’ve already provided us, as well as the ones You have in store. Keep me mindfully aware of Your presence, Dear Lord. I love You. Amen.

(386 words ~ 3:06 a.m.)

cease

Saturday, November 14, 2009 (7:28 a.m.)

Mm, Sweet Jesus,

Mm. I think of You and my thoughts and quivers seem to cease momentarily. Then I think I know where we’re going. Oh, but You surprise me. You never cease to surprise me!

I sit here, thinking I know what’s coming next. But no! [Maybe this will be the time I learn to stop jumping to conclusions J]

Lord, thank You for leading me to the word ‘cease’ this morning. Even though I ended up confusing it with the phrase “Peace, be still!” (Mark 4:39)

Sunday, November 15, 2009 (6:23 a.m.)

Yes Jesus. Reading further into that verse, “And the wind ceased and there was a great calm.”

Sweet, Sweet, Jesus. Thank You for the love that You are. Thank You for the peace that You offer. Thank You for the gifts You continue to give.

Lord, I got to wake up again this morning thinking of You. I look around me at all the joy You bring. For so many years I have had immense expectations. I absolutely believed that if I did all the right things perfectly I would end up with everything the way I wanted it to be. Thank You Lord that You can not be manipulated by our whims and fancy.

Thank You that faith in You allows us to grow and prosper in ways we could never imagine. We get to follow after You refreshed, renewed. And in so doing, our fears cease.

Thank You Lord. I have had decades of misconceptions. I honestly thought there could be a series of dots set about just for me and all I had to do was find the sequence and order they were to be in, then follow and connect them and that would be the path to You I was to take.

Today I got to wake up thinking of the blessings that just yesterday brought. Wow, Lord! You were right there in the mix of once again teaching me to trust my instincts and the importance of “speaking the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15).

Most Holy God, my godson and I get to go now to worship You with my brother and my husband because THEY wanted to and coordinated it. Oh Your Goodness, God! Your goodness ordained this! How I take this moment to pause once again and acknowledge that You truly never cease to surprise me!

Thank You Lord! I love You. Amen.

(411 words ~ 8:10 a.m.)

Everlasting God

Friday, November 13, 2009 (6:10 a.m.)

Everlasting God,

Mm. Yes. Everlasting God. I like it. My plan was to remain fully pleased with having been awoken (pre eyes open) to my heart, or my soul, or both singing ♫You are the Everlasting God…♫ and then to come right out here to talk with You about expectations, and learning to wait expectantly, with expectancy [that’s a whole lot of expecting! J].

Oh but You are so much better than my plans! Thank You Lord that You are so much better than my plans! Because You are so much bigger (and better) than my plans, I get to read and learn more about Isaiah. Mm. Thank You God!

Words like truth, healing, denial, comfort, hope, judgment, salvation, deliverance, sin, repentance, sufferings, balance, humble love, forgiveness, spiritual growth, faith, blessing and recovery. Mm. Lord, thank You!

Blessed Lord, Everlasting God, how awesome it is for me to read these words as though for the very first time. My heart swells, my face smiles as I read commentary that refers to waiting. “Wait patiently”, “learn to wait for God”, “They that wait upon the Lord…” (Isaiah 40:31) and Lamentations 3:25-26, “The Lord is wonderfully good to those who wait for Him, to those who seek for Him. It is good both to hope and wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.”

Mm. Lord. Thank You. Such comfort. Such peace. Such joy is found in just sitting here contemplating how the words of this internally singing song were inspired directly from Your Word (Isaiah 40:28-31), ♫Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord We will wait upon the Lord … Our God, You reign forever Our Hope, our Strong Deliverer You are the Everlasting God, The Everlasting God You do not faint You won’t grow weary… You’re the defender of the weak You comfort those in need You lift us up on wings like eagles.♫

Lord, if it be Your will that I ever learn to wait expectantly, so be it. Until then, I genuinely ask that You would teach me to wait upon You… patiently and quietly. I love You, Lord. Amen.

(357 words ~ 8:26 a.m.)

Finally!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009 (1:13 p.m.)

My Love, My Father, My All-And-All,

I’m not feeling okay. Something’s not quite right with me and I keep trying to figure it out. Lord, I keep thinking You’re trying to tell me something and I’m not getting it. I’ve tried busying myself away from it. I’ve even tried talking to other people about it. Finally, here I am with You, asking Lord, what do You want me to know?

There was a recent death of another father figure from my childhood neighborhood and I don’t understand why I’m reacting to it as I am…

Thursday, November 12, 2009 (5:32 a.m.)

Lord, thank You that I get to come before You not only with praises and thanksgiving, but also with questions and unsettlement. Thank You Lord that even though I still don’t know why I’m having such an emotional reaction to this particular death, I’m comforted by Your availability.

Lord, I love You. I feel shaky and small and extremely judgmental of myself. And instead of continuing to try to figure this all out Lord, I’m looking to You. I’m coming before You without understanding. I don’t know why I feel as I do. And I even confess to feeling a little afraid to find out. Is there something deep inside that is way bigger than meets my eye? I don’t know what’s going on with me. But I’m very sure that I’m willing to go to almost any length in trying to avoid it.

So here I am asking Lord. Do what You want with me. Work in and with me in ways that I do not understand. ♫Have Thine own way, Lord! Have Thine own way! Thou art the Potter, I am the clay (Isaiah 64:8). Mold me and make me after Thy will, While I am waiting, yielded and still.♫

I look to You Dear Lord. I don’t understand. I hurt. I feel bad. And little. But I’m willing. I’m willing to wait. To struggle. To doubt. To fear. To avoid. Until finally I’m ready to risk and trust and run into You. Yeah, I like that better! Let me run into You with this Lord. Finally! Let me run into You!

I love You Lord. Amen.

(372 words ~ 9:40 a.m.)

Hosanna!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009 (5:19 a.m.)

♫Holy, Holy, Holy!

♫Lord God Almighty! Early in the morning our song shall rise to Thee♫ Lord, thank You that I get to think of You first thing upon awakening. Thank You that even before being fully awake thoughts of You swirl around inside me trying to form themselves.

Lord, You are awesome. Wonderful. Powerful. Mighty. Holy. You are these things and I am not. I am made in Your image and I depend on You. Yet I am here to confess to You right now that I don’t know how to do just that.

♫Sing Hosanna…♫

(8:06 a.m.)

Oh Most Holy Father, I don’t even know how to come back from that!

One minute I was confessing my ignorance of depending on You and the very next I was singing “Save, I pray” (Psalm 118:25).

Going straight back to sleep on that note, literally, I’ve continued to ♫Sing Hosanna to the King of Kings♫ since.

Lord, is it really that easy? All the ‘i’s I’ve attempted to dot and ‘t’s I’ve tried to cross through the years don’t get me any closer to following You do they? Looking back at all the rules I’ve tried to follow and expectations I’ve had of the ultimate end result of my own attempts at ‘goodness’, I need Your help Lord. I don’t know how to live in and through You. I try. I attempt. I don’t seem to rest in You (Psalm 37:7). I don’t think I really know how.

I read Your Word. I start to get excited. I think, “Yes! This is it” and then I doubt and fret and stew, redoubling my efforts toward attaining Your goodness, grace and mercy. Hmm, oxymoronic at its worse!

Lord, I love You. I AM grateful for Your blessings, for Your glimpses and yes Lord, even for the challenges that are helping me grow. “Save, I pray” Dear Lord. I love You. Amen.

(326 words ~ 10:21 a.m.)

bountiful

Tuesday, November 10, 2009 (5:30 a.m.)

Beautiful, Bountiful Father,

I love You! How I thank You Lord that just by saying that the next thing I know my heart is singing out bits and phrases of I’m not sure what.

Upon further searching it comes together in ♫We stand and lift up our hands… for the joy of the Lord is our strength We bow down… and worship Him now… how great… how awesome is He. And together we sing… Everyone sing… Holy is the Lord, God Almighty… the earth is filled with His glory…♫

Oh most Holy and Awesome God, thank You for the bountiful ways in which You bless us. Your Word. Your world. Your plan. Your love. Your hope. Your glory. Your grace. Bountiful gifts that we often don’t even recognize.

Thank You Lord that You don’t give up on us! Your love never changes. You never change. But Your constant love and faithfulness ultimately, intimately changes us. Thank You Lord.

Thank You for Your prophet Jeremiah. You sent him ‘to warn the people of Judah to turn from their sin and denial, and to obey Your good plan for them.’ They didn’t want to hear what he had to say on Your behalf. They mistreated him, even to the point of intense persecution and imprisonment. Lord, he remained faithful to You. Father, thank You for his example to us!

I spent the bulk of yesterday whining and complaining about my current lot. I distinctly heard You calling me to “Come” unto You and then to “Go” share Your hope with others. I didn’t though. I got sidetracked. Lost in the internet. Forgive me Lord.

It is only in You I find my strength. ♫Holy is the Lord, God Almighty… the earth is filled with His glory… It’s rising up All around… It’s the anthem of the Lord’s renown… And together we sing, Everyone sing…♫

Thank You Lord for lives lived for You. Thank You for Jeremiah’s faithfulness to You, as well as his honesty. I read his complaints (15:10, 15-18) to You and Your promise to protect him (15:11, 19-21). Lord, I am grateful for Your faithfulness.

I turned to Jeremiah (2:7) this morning because of its mention of Your having brought Your people “into a bountiful country, To eat its fruit and its goodness. But when you entered, you defiled My land And made My heritage an abomination.” Lord, how I see us doing that all the time. We take Your goodness and grace so much for granted.

I am again hopeful as I read another of Your promises in verse 9, “But I will not give up on you – I will plead for you to return to me and will keep on pleading; yes, even with your children’s children in the years to come!” Lord, how I thank You for Your persistence! Thank You that You never give up on those You love. Thank You that, as my Life Recovery Bible states, You “will continue to seek us out. As we wander from Him and try to take back control of our life, He lovingly pleads for us to return to Him.”

Oh most bountiful, beloved Lord, thank You for so loving the world (John 3:16)… I love You so much. Help me follow You as and where You lead. Amen.

(558 words ~ 8:30 a.m.)

Majestic majesty

Sunday, November 8, 2009 (5:56 a.m.)

Beloved, Majestic One,

“O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is Your name in all the earth!” (Psalm8:9) The color of the sky just now once again reaffirms Your awesomeness. Lord, thank You for yet another glimpse of Your greatness.

“O Lord, our Lord” what a wonderful way to begin time spent alone with You ~ contemplating Your majesty. A quick youtube look at a ♫Majesty♫ video and I have chills and am speechless.

“O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is Your name in all the earth!” I read the adjoining “Self-perception” devotional in my Life Recovery Bible and am again reminded (by the added commentary) that “Whatever the roots of our problems, we are now probably overly sensitive to the attacks of others. We see here (in this particular Psalm) that God has made us to be fantastic beings with great powers and privileges. We should not sell ourselves short. Our self-esteem should be based on what God thinks of us – not what others say about us.”

“O Lord, our Lord”. What a privilege to even be allowed, much less encouraged, to call You “Lord”! According to this particular Bible entry, a “skewed view of us probably warped our ability to see ourself as we truly are in God’s eyes… God wants us to realize how precious we are to Him and to begin to see ourself in the light of His love.”

Oh Most Beloved, Majestic One, I witnessed the majesty of Your sunrise just earlier. Please Lord, please allow others to witness the majestic power of Your Son rising in me!

♫Majesty, worship His majesty♫ Lord, thank You for a majestic way to begin the day. I love You. Amen.

(288 words ~ 6:57 a.m.)

life-giving

Saturday, November 7, 2009 (4:12 a.m.)

Life-Giving God,

I bristled negatively at a comment made in passing last night Lord. I took offense and allowed it to cast an ugly darkness to an otherwise lovely day. Why do I keep taking words so personally Lord? And more importantly, how do I stop?

I thought it was awesome that the song I woke up with this morning was ♫Give me oil in my lamp, Keep me burning, burning, burning…♫ Yet I’ve been sitting out here for more than an hour and a half refusing to sing it any further, because it just seems like another demand I’m putting out to You. Where’s the ‘please’ or the ‘thank You’? Where’s the love or adoration? Just “Give me”.

I can’t do it. I won’t! (Interesting that I just typed that word as ‘want’!) Life-Giving God, speak to me. Oh, I see. Somehow I think it’s demanding to say ‘give me’, but ‘speak to me’ is okay? Hmm. You definitely have Your work cut out for Yourself in me!

Lord, thank You that I get to be this honest with You. I get to run all over the place, exhausting myself until I finally come back before You, willing to listen to You ~ and learn!

Lord, help me learn what it is that You want me to know about living my life in and through You. I keep going out there ahead of You, creating situations that just don’t have to be the way I make them.

And here You are, the Life-Giving God of the universe offering Your love and guidance to me. But do I accept it? Oh no, I just keep my own stubborn approach to things, thank You very much. It’s what I’m used to. You know, the way I was raised.

Hmm. God. You can do something with that too. Can’t You? Okay. You win. Here it is ♫Give me oil in my lamp, Keep me burning, burning, burning. Give me oil in my lamp, I pray. Give me oil in my lamp, Keep me burning, burning, burning. Keep me burning Till the break of day♫ Yes Lord. I know. ‘But wait! There’s more!’ J

♫Sing Hosanna! Sing Hosanna! Sing Hosanna to the King of Kings! Sing Hosanna! Sing Hosanna! Sing Hosanna to the King!♫

Oh bless me Father, for I have sinned! Where do I come off thinking that that statement right there is any less demanding than “Give me…”?

Lord, I love You. You gave me life. In You. To live as You would have me. Please teach me how to do that. I want to encourage. Instill. Inspire. And on a day-to-day basis I continue taking offense, shutting myself off, trying in my own strength and power to protect myself and those around me from the harsh words and tones of others. Teach me to live in You Lord. Give me (ouch! Awkward!) joy in my heart to keep me singing, peace in my heart to keep me resting and love in my heart to keep me serving that I would genuinely ♫Sing Hosanna to the King!♫

Lord, I truly love You. And as I take the time to more fully examine the meaning of ‘hosanna’, again I am blessed by You even more. “Liberate us!” “Set us free!” “Save us!” Oh Lord, how I ask that You would do exactly that.

Breathe Your life-giving breath (Genesis 2:7) into every fiber of my being that I would truly be liberated, freed and saved from the critical, defensive bent that I so naturally fall back to. I love You so much Lord. Thank You for coming to “give life in all its fullness” (John 10:10). Make me amiable to “life-giving rebukes” (Proverbs 15:31) and sure-footed in “Your life-giving light” (Psalm 56:13). I love You. Amen.

(641 words ~ 8:10 a.m.)

"troubleshooting"

Friday, November 6, 2009 (6:12 a.m.)

Lover of My Soul,

Mm. Lord. What a thought. You love my soul. And if You love my soul, it only stands to reason that You also love my heart and my mind and my physicality. Mm. Lord. I can’t even comprehend.

I tell You all the time how much I love You, but how do those words of love translate into actions? How does it become consistent? Automatic. Natural. Like breathing?

Mm, Lord. Thank You that I get to ponder thoughts like this with You. Thank You that because You do love my soul (and heart, and mind and strength) I am allowed to wonder what it would be like to love You as You desire to be loved by me.

With all the changes taking place in our attitudes around here recently, I desperately see the need for a section on ‘troubleshooting’ in Your Word. With part of me attempting to make light of some very deep and heavy thoughts, Lord I just look to You truly through the eyes of love.

You are so good. I feel so safe when I am here with You in Your Word. But then duty (real, everyday life) calls and it seems like I’m out there on my own, trying to make heads or tails out of awkward, uncomfortable situations.

Very first thing the other morning, our 17 year old made me aware of a problem with the Wii console. My first thought was the cost, followed by the fear of having to tell the dad of the household. I experienced an overwhelming sense of dread, perhaps even a degree of panic. But then came the idea of checking the instruction book under the troubleshooting heading and all was well in a matter of minutes. Literally! “Unplug power. Wait two minutes. Plug back in.” That simple.

Lord? Is life with You really that easy? When we are told that ♫Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord We will wait upon the Lord We will wait upon the Lord♫ can we really truly trust and believe that it will happen just like that? With no plotting, scheming, or manipulating on our part?

Oh Dear and Sweet Lover of My Soul, You are so much more valuable than everything we have. How often do I ever stop in the course of busy-ness to consider Your cost? Thank You Lord. Thank You for reminding me to do that just now. Proverbs 6:23, “The Law of the Lord is a lamp, and its teachings shine brightly. Correction [another word for ‘troubleshooting’, which I could NOT find in the Bible! J] and self-control will lead you through life.”

Mm, Lord. Yes. Please! Lead me through life. I love You! Thank You. Amen.

(459 words ~ 7:39 a.m.)

the tongue

Wednesday, November 4, 2009 (4:31 a.m.)

Incredibly Awesome God,

Thank You! Thank You that I get to come to You. Thank You that You not only allow us into Your presence, You invite us! (Luke 14:13) Oh my Lord. Most Holy Lord. How I thank You for Your love!

Feelings have been getting easily hurt around here recently. Thank You that You don’t just leave them there. Thank You that we get to keep coming before You as the little children (Matthew 19:14, Mark 10:14, Luke 18:16) we still behave like so often. Thank You that You have so much to teach us concerning the words we choose and the effects of the tongue.

Lord, You saw me blessing You while cursing Terry yesterday (James 3:9). I was fully aware of the essence of verse ten, although I couldn’t remember the words at the time. “And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Dear brothers, surely this is not right!”

I knew it wasn’t right Lord, but I didn’t stop. I tried to. I wanted to (at times). But I didn’t. I was well aware that ‘a spring of water does not bubble out first with fresh water and then with bitter’ (11). But I was unable to keep the praises of and for You coming on there own. At one moment I was singing ♫Beautiful One I love, Beautiful One I adore, Beautiful One my soul shall sing♫ and the very next there were horrible words being inserted to express my dissatisfaction of our situation.

Lord, thank You that James took the time and Your inspiration to write his letter telling Your people how to live. In his short written message he told us how we tend to hear Your Word without putting it into practice. Mm. Good aim Lord. Right between my eyes!

Thursday, November 5, 2009 (2:39 a.m.)

Again, Dear Lord ~ again I say, "Thank You." Thank You for once again showing me just how far off Your mark I so very often get.

Lord, as I sit here reading more in my Life Recovery Bible about the tongue and my inability to control it, I thank You for such easy access to the words that just began singing in my heart and my soul. ♫Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord We will wait upon the Lord We will wait upon the Lord…♫

Blessed Lord, how I ask that You would work in me. Not that I would finally ‘find my voice’ with which to effectively express myself as I’ve been saying these past few weeks. No Lord. Help me find YOUR voice within me!

♫Our God, You reign forever Our Hope, our Strong Deliverer You are the everlasting God The everlasting God You do not faint You won’t grow weary… You’re the defender of the weak You comfort those in need You lift us up on wings like eagles♫

Most Precious Lord, every time I think about strength rising as I wait upon You, I’m sure that this will be the time that I can let it happen. How often though, in the very beginning of waiting, do I begin to wonder why nothing seems to be taking place (according to my terms of what should be happening) and I just give up my watch?

Interesting thought here Lord. All this time of singing this particular song to You, I’ve considered waiting upon You as ‘staying where one is or delaying action until a particular time or until something else happens’. Just now I considered for the very first time that my strength will come as I ‘act as Your attendant’. ‘Wait upon’ here, quite possibly meaning ‘serve’. Hmm, I wonder.

See what I mean Lord? You have a LOT of work still to do in me! One minute I’m thinking about how harsh Terry’s tone of voice and words can be, without even considering my own critical nature.

Oh how I ask that You will work in me Dear Lord. Replace my own destructive words and tones with the ones You would use to heal and encourage. Lord, I love You so much. Teach me to use Your love as the basis for all my thoughts, feelings, actions and very being. ♫…You’re the defender of the weak You comfort those in need You lift us up on wings like eagles♫

Help me use the tongue You gave me to heal and not to destroy, to build up, not tear down, to bless, not curse. I love You so much Dear Lord. Thank You for loving and teaching me. Amen.

(771 words ~ 3:56 a.m.)

resolving

Monday, November 2, 2009 (11:48 p.m.)

I’m experimenting here Lord,

Putting you to the test, if You will. Hmm. That doesn’t seem like such a good approach now does it?

Okay. Let’s try this. I love You. I’m still feeling disappointed about the way some things went around here this evening and I’m not able to sleep because of it. So I’m turning to You.

I’ve tried ignoring it. Addressing it. Pretending it doesn’t matter. And the bottom line is harsh words were said in a cutting tone, tears were shed, kinder words were spoken in a gentler manner, but I’m still waiting for the resolution.

Monday is turning into Tuesday even as I tap this out and I am officially turning it over to You now. I love You Lord. Work Your will through this I pray. Amen. (12:25 a.m.)

Tuesday, November 3, 2009 (4:31 a.m.)

After two plus hours of sleep, I’m back to thank You Lord. Thank You for some rest. Thank You for some ideas of working toward resolving our current snag.

Lord, thank You for not even letting me complete the “That’s it! I quit.” thought I was started to have upon awakening. No. You reminded me that I am to “be faithful, even to the point of death” (Revelation 2:10).

Quitting has always come so easily for me Lord. Giving up. Forfeiting. Running for the hills. Those I can do. Sticking around? Standing firm. This is entirely new territory Lord and I need Your help in it!

Thank You Lord that the only verse I can find this morning with the word ‘resolving’ is Exodus 18:22. There, Moses’ father-in-law Jethro is speaking to him of the importance of setting limits, delegating and protecting himself from burning out. “These (capable, godly, honest) men (appointed by Moses) can serve the people, resolving all the ordinary cases. Anything that is too important or too complicated can be brought to you. But they can take care of the smaller matters themselves. They will help you carry the load, making the task easier for you.”

Lord, I read this and the comment relating to it and I know You are speaking to me as well. “This episode (of Jethro’s visit to his son-in-law) reveals that Moses had a difficult time setting boundaries in his life. (♫Hello? Is it me You’re looking for? ♫) Jethro gave Moses some wise and creative advice, helping him to protect himself from the extensive demands of the people… We need to set appropriate boundaries in our own life, maximizing the use of the time and energy that we have, while also protecting ourselves from burnout.”

Lord, I look to You to teach me how! I’m new at this. Your way is so much better than everything I’ve tried so far. ♫Have Thine own way, Lord! Have Thine own way! Thou art the Potter, I am the clay (Isaiah 64:8). Mold me and make me after Thy will, While I am waiting, yielded and still♫

As the lyrics continue Lord, I continue seeing more of myself. ♫Wounded and weary, help me I pray…Hold o’er my being absolute sway! Fill with Thy Spirit till all shall see Christ only, always living in me!♫

Oh yes Lord. Live in and with and through me I pray. I love You so much. Thank You for this extended time we’ve had together. And for the way You work things out in my heart, my soul, my mind and my strength. I love You with all these, as Jesus commanded in Mark 12:30. Thank You Lord, for letting me practice with You once again. I love You. Amen.

608 words ~ 5:38 a.m.)

"blessed"

Monday, November 2, 2009 (4:59 a.m.)

Blessed Lord,

Blessed Father, Blessed God. There are not enough ‘thank you’s in the world with which I can express my gratitude to You, Dear Lord.

(6:43 a.m.)

Having fallen asleep just sixteen minutes into reading Luke 12 and just now having fully awaken again, Lord I thank You for some added rest. A little more refreshed, I wonder what it is that You would most like for me to take away from this chapter today.

I started with verse 38, “And if he (your Lord) should come in the second watch, or come in the third watch (the midnight hours) and find them so (watching for Him), blessed are those servants.” Oh Dearest Lord, I long to be considered by You a watchful servant ~ a good and faithful, watchful, blessed servant.

And here I confess to You my self-doubts of ever being ________ enough! Lord, I look to You with help in this area. I have been spent (wasted?) decades in self-powered attempts at godliness. How freely I admit to You the very little I know or understand about truly being a good steward of Your blessings.

Ever so humbly I ask You Lord, even as I sit here thinking about all the ways You have already blessed me, to use me exactly as You would today. Allow me to practice being watchful and prepared for Your return. So that I too would be judged "blessed" by You.

I love You, Lord. I thank You. Amen.

(256 words ~ 7:55 a.m.)

interesting

Saturday, October 31, 2009 (6:11 a.m.)

Mm ~ Interesting God,

I don’t know that I’ve ever referred to You as ‘interesting’. Holy, loved, wonderful, marvelous and now interesting ~ mm.

Sunday, November 1, 2009 (5:42 a.m.)

Mm. Such contentment is expressed by my soul in every sigh of “Mm”. Lord, how I thank You for the opportunity to come to You again and again in various stages of emotion.

Thank You that as I further explore the only entry I could find for the word interesting (in The Living Bible) I am once again transfixed (caused to become motionless with wonder) by the Preacher/Teacher’s words in Ecclesiastes. I sit in awe and wonder of such a loving God as You. Thank You Lord. Thank You.

Thank You that as I actually expressed my heart’s desire aloud on Friday, I look again to You asking that You would make it so. Lord, I have believed for so long that it is Your purpose for my life that I ‘be a SAFE person who encourages loving You, self and others well’. Following along very nicely in that same vein Lord, I also know that I want to be an advocate for strong, healthy marriages. I have to look to You Lord to show me how You would have me proceed with that.

Too often I have such lofty thoughts and ideas that never take shape or form. But this time Lord, I am bringing them directly to You. Interesting, loving, wonderful You. Mm Lord. Mm.

Again I read the concluding words of Ecclesiastes. The Preacher (described in chapter 12, verse 10 as ‘not only a wise man but a good teacher; he not only taught what he knew to the people, but taught them in an interesting manner’) warned, “Here is my final conclusion: fear God and obey His commandments, for this is the entire duty of man.”

Lord, as I look at the titles of various paragraphs in this book, I sit quietly wanting to absorb them deeply into my soul. ‘Living a Balanced Life’, ‘The Value of Generosity’, ‘The Value of Enjoyment’, ‘Remembering God Right Now’ and ‘Fearing and Obeying God’.

Oh Dearest Lord. Oh, that I would learn, so I could teach. Show me the steps You would have me take to make this happen, Lord. You are such a good and interesting God. Teach me how to reflect and communicate that well.

I love You Lord. Thank You. Amen.

(408 words ~ 6:29 a.m.)