forgiveness

Saturday, July 25, 2009 (4:01 a.m.)

Most Amazing God of Glory,

I want to practice being agog with You again. You definitely provide me with more than enough opportunity to be “very eager or curious to hear or see something [from the mid 16^th century Old French en gogues – ‘in fun’].”

Yes Lord. I want desperately to be appreciative and ‘in fun’ with You again! So often You present me with another glimpse of grace; another gift of gratitude. And too many times here of late, I have taken them more for granted than straight to my heart.

Thank You Lord for the work You have been doing in me these last few days in learning again to deal with disappointments. I must confess to doing it poorly. I’ve withdrawn (You did notice my two day absence from my time here with You, did You not?). I’ve pouted. I tried anger for a few days. And then of course, came bitterness and resentment.

Thank You Lord for helping me to remember that we are so much better than that! Because of the blood that You shed for every single one of us, we get to choose to forgive one another as we each have been forgiven.

(9:21 a.m.)

Wow!

No sooner said than put into practice. Father, THANK YOU for some extra hours of sleep and rest, allowing me to be more fully coherent. Thank You for the opportunity just now to identify, right in the moment as it was beginning to happen, a potential resentment.

Oh my goodness God. THANK YOU! My normal modus operandi would have been to ignore or to flee the scene right as a hint of ugliness began to rear its unattractive head. This morning, instead, I stayed more calm than usual. I was able to identify a tone of unpleasantness and promptly ask if the backhanded comment was necessary to be directed at me.

God! That was YOU – at work, in me! THANK YOU!

Thank You that I get to keep coming back to You; asking Your will, seeking Your Way, knocking down the walls I have set up in the futile attempt of keeping myself ‘safe’.

My safety comes from knowing and loving You. YOU are my hiding place! I don’t need to continue rehashing old hurts. I no longer have to hold onto unmet expectations. Through the blood of Your love for us, I get to keep learning to let go of every premeditated resentment I have been holding all these years. THANK YOU GOD!

Thank You that You have so much more for us than we could ever hope to imagine. Thank You that Your love is far more than able to sustain us all. I love You so much Lord and I ask that You would continue Your work in freeing me to be the woman You originally had in mind for me to become. I want desperately to be all that You have in store for me.

I love You Lord! Amen

(505 words ~ 10:01 a.m.)