changes

Friday, July 10, 2009 (8:11 a.m.)

Harrah’s Laughlin, NV

Oh my goodness God,

You are so good! I can’t even begin to fathom the depths of Your grace, Your might, Your majesty.

Lord, it may seem like such a simple thing. But You and I both know how difficult it is – no. Scratch that. Let’s change it to – ‘used to be’. You and I both know how hard it used to be for me to recognize what is really going on as it is happening. Ah, but now. You keep working in me and I get to react to things in present time. Amazing. Awesome. Wonderful. You! At work, in me.

Oh most incredibly amazing wonderful Lord, I love You so much. I love getting to experience all the changes that are taking place around, as well as within each of us. Lord, thank You!

This morning for the very first time in twenty-seven years, when I initially tried memorizing 2 Corinthians 5:17, the verse has come alive to me as never before! “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.”

You are amazing! The work You do in each of us. Knowing exactly what one particular person needs and what another won’t be able to grasp immediately. You keep working in us. Changing us to fit Your perfect mold for us. Amazing. Absolutely amazing!

And what is it that has me so awestruck? The fact that I couldn’t proceed with packing for this present trip until Terry and I had successfully communicated what was going on with each of us. There was something ‘wrong’ between us that neither of us could identify. Our old nature would have been to avoid the problem and just keep working to reach our end goal.

Thank You God that You would have none of that. Thank You for providing me with the courage to completely stop what we were doing and orchestrate change in our behaviors. Such positive growth and maturity only comes from You. Again, You amaze me.

One minute I was feeling desperate just to have my husband ‘like me’ again and the next I was fully aware of the truth that help set us free (John 8:32) to be open and honest with one another. Recognizing mid sentence that after 36 years of being together if he didn’t like me by now we really were in serious trouble, I was able to push that thought completely aside. A first! Serious growth taking place here!

And why? Because You are so hard at work in each of us. Lord, I never thought I’d get to the place where I could even begin to consider thanking You for my mom’s current illness. The added work, the stress, the time, the ‘but what about my life?’ selfishness involved in her care… But here I am, wholeheartedly thanking You for all You are teaching us about ourselves and each other through this entire process. None of us would be experiencing the changes currently taking place within and around us had we each been allowed to remain in our own self-absorbed comfort zones. Thank You Lord.

Thank You for taking us from the old to the new, from the false to the Truth. From ourselves to You. Again I say, “Amazing!”

And what has me so amazed? The fact that I could recognize a potential problem – that I could not possibly be ready by the time Terry had set for us to leave. I confessed to him that I was not capable of meeting his request and asked for a later departure. Who knew it could be so simple? Yeah, well I guess YOU did! But really, after 36 years of me spinning myself into points of frenzy trying to give him everything I thought he wanted without ever risking disappointing him, how much easier it was to just say, “I can’t do it. Can we do this instead?”

Lord, this new life in You, taken quite literally really IS freeing. To be able to acknowledge almost immediately the other night when I realized that I had again fallen into the lifelong habit of telling someone what I thought they wanted to hear. Thank You for the awareness it took for me to be able to say to our son, “You know what? I really DO want that yogurt you offered me, even if it IS going to be inconvenient for you to have to go get.” New behavior for me Lord! Brand new behavior.

“When someone becomes a Christian, he becomes a brand new person inside. He is not the same anymore. A new life has begun!” (The Living Bible)

Beloved Lord, thank You for the changes You have brought about. And thank You, in advance, for the power You are going to provide for each of us to meet the challenges that are sure to come our way as a direct result to all these changes. I love You so much Dear Lord. And I am ever grateful for another glimpse of Your grace! Thank You. Amen.

(861 words ~ 11:41 a.m.)