Hence the smile.

Monday, October 21, 2019 (3:30 a.m.)

Blessed God,

Thank You! Yes, the “thank You”s could go on ad infinitum. Without end. Forever. Again and again in the same way. Literally, “to infinity” [and beyond!].

The smile started about twenty minutes ago. That’s when I realized I had actually fallen asleep last night after all. Trying unsuccessfully to again count and sing and breathe myself back to sleep I started exploring the obstacles of yesterday.

It was during that review I found words to describe what I had been feeling. Sad. Hurt. Surprised. Embarrassed. Stubborn. Trapped. Shocked. Disappointed. Off.

Yep. After all the negatives had seemed to take their toll, I was shut down. Walled off. Unable to follow through with feeling better.

That’s where You came in. Angry didn’t have to happen. I knew because You’ve been reminding me lately that “joy comes in the morning” (Psalm 30:5b). And it did. Hence the smile.

Holy Father, how I thank You for the music You bring to my heart, my mind and my soul. I’ve already had so many different songs singing within me this morning.

Once I was able to articulate another’s seeming satisfaction in pointing out my mistakes, I remembered what I’ve been learning. Mistakes can be good. When we learn from them. 

I don’t have to be afraid. Or ashamed. I can fail with confidence! And then try again. And again. Thank You Father.

That’s when I realized I was singing about joy. Which had indeed come again in the morning. ♪ I’ve got that joy, joy, joy joy down in my heart…♪ Thanks Dad.

It was the next song that prompted my early arrival out here with You. Hence another smile!

I didn’t know it well enough to sing on my own. Wasn’t even aware of the title. Finding it easily enough, I was truly pleased to associate it with You again singing comfort to me.

♪ If you ever find yourself stuck in the middle of the sea I’ll sail the world to find you If you ever find yourself lost in the dark and you can’t see I’ll be the light to guide you [à la Psalm 139:1-12] We find out what we're made of When we are called to help our friends in need You can Count On Me like 1, 2, 3 I’ll be there And I know when I need it I can count on You like 4, 3, 2 You’ll be there ‘Cause that’s what friends are supposed to do ♪

Oh, but that’s not even the best part! ♪ If you’re tossin’ and you’re turnin’ And you just can’t fall asleep I’ll sing a song beside you And if you ever forget how much you really mean to me Every day I will remind you… ♪ Thank You Father that I find You singing to me in the most unexpected songs.

And just like that I’m singing back to You. Gratefully remembering that ♪You Make Me Brave♪ I have a different song breaking through. 

♪ In every season, in every change You are near In every sorrow, You are my strength You are near A peace in the storm Your voice I will follow In weakness I rise Remembering You hold my world I’m holding on to hope I’m holding on to grace I’m fully letting go I’m surrendered to Your ways The Anchor for my soul Father You will never change I love You, I love You… ♪

That’s what’s so comforting. And smile producing. You’ve got me. I don’t have to be ashamed. Or afraid. You love me.

♪My great Redeemer, My constant Friend You are near My faithful Father You took me in You are near I will remember Your promise forever My Strength, my Defender I can count on You You are my Savior, My hope and my Shelter Your love is forever I can count on You♪

That’s exactly what You sang to me. Earlier. In that other song. ♪…You can count on Me like 1, 2, 3 I’ll be there…♪ Like I said before, hence the smile.

Thank You Father. I love You. Use me this day exactly as You know is best. In sharing the hope and the joy and the confidence we have in being loved by You. Thank You for Who and All You are. I love You. I’m smiling. Amen.

(727 words ~ 5:30 a.m.)