variables

Friday, January 19, 2017 (5:00a.m.)

I am here Blessed God, not fully awake.

(5:28 a.m.)

Still not fully awake. Singing. Studying. Searching. Seeking. And yes, going back to bed.

Holy God, I love You. I need You. I choose You. I thank You. And right now, this very minute I ask You to guide my heart, my soul, my mind and my strength in loving You as You wish (Mark 12:30).

♪In unity, to dwell in unity♪ It's the song I originally woke up singing. ♪Lalalalalalalalalalala♪ 

Work in, with, by, through and for me Father. I have a lot of stray thoughts going on. Corral my thinking would You please? Let it come to focus and center on You.

(7:31 a.m.)

Oh Holy God,

Thank You for more rest.

(8:07 a.m.)

And now, for a great deal of honesty… my mind is spinning wildly. There are a LOT of variables coming up. A long awaited major surgery and all the details that come along with that. Changes in scheduling directly related to said surgery.

I practice thinking and saying, “I trust You, Jesus” and at the very same time hear myself using the words “fear” and “afraid”. My only constant in the midst of all the unknowns is You. Thank You that You are our constant in ALL things.

Mmm… “in all things give thanks” (1 Thessalonians 5:18). Yes! Please. Allow my mind to truly embrace this Truth!

Again I cry out. I love You. I need You. I choose You. I trust and thank You. This is more practice than complete belief. I’m saying it all because I’m supposed to. I’m looking to You to turn it all into something real and worshipful.

Yes. Please. Do all You must to settle my scrambled thinking and ideas. I love You. Yes. Deep breath. I need You. Yes. So incredibly much. I choose You. I do. Over fearful, frightened thinking “Forsaking All I Trust Him”! And again I ask You to do all You must in bringing me to Your path in all of this.

Now back to the song with which I awoke. ♪Behold how good and how pleasant it is For brethren to dwell together… In unity, to dwell in unity… Lalalalalalalalalalalala♪ (Psalm 133:1). Yes. Thank You Father.

Use me to advance the hope and love that comes consistently through trusting You at Your Word. Yes, Jesus. I trust You. Thank You. Amen.

(8:47 a.m. ~ 414 words)