life, strength, hope

Monday, December 4, 2017 (4:21 a.m.)

Oh Most Dear and Holy God,

Thank You for Your patience with me. Thank You for Your faithfulness. Thank You for Your mercy and grace. Thank You for the never-ending opportunities to begin again.

I have been behaving badly. To You and to others. I continue shutting down. Building walls. Trying not to get my feelings hurt. Putting the feelings of others ahead of my own has not been my forte recently.

Thank You for the way music just springs to my mind [heart, soul] in the simplest ways. Another word for forte is strength. And the next thing I know I am singing ♪My life is in You, Lord My strength is in You, Lord My hope is in You, Lord In You, it’s in You♪

Yes. I sing it. Believe it. Practice it? Not always. Let my feelings get hurt and praising You with all of my life, strength and hope goes right off the page. Forgive me Father.

I know better. Empower and enable me to DO better!

I want to love and forgive. Instead I curse and withdraw. I feign kindness. As I seethe and plot bitterness.

(2:51 p.m.)

Immature. The word that best describes my behavior these past many days is IMMATURE!!!

Thank You Father. Immature; “not fully developed” Yep. That fits me to a “t”. Thank You God. Thank You that You love me even when I behave immaturely.