provision and deliverance

Thursday, September 7, 2017 (6:33 a.m.)

Blessed, Holy God,

Thank You. Thank You for Your PROVISION AND DELIVERANCE. Thank You for changing my focus. Thank You that as much as I know I want to be grateful, it is rarely my first response.

I confess to You Blessed God. Grumbling comes easy to me. As do growling. Grousing. And grudge holding. Praise and thanksgiving? I have to work at them.

Thank You that You do not give up on us. Your Word tells us often and repeatedly to love. You. Others. Ourselves. Simple enough when all seems right with the world.

Oh, but let the storm clouds come in. Or now, with even the threat of them, and I become surly. Sulky. Bitter.

Thank You Father that You do not leave us alone to our own devices. You set up a better system long ago.

(7:01 a.m.)

Up, down. Start, stop. Grumble… Grin? No. I refuse to grin.

(7:53 a.m.)

And just like that it all begins again.

Father, I truly AM grateful! You bless us profoundly. Of this I am absolutely aware. And appreciative.

Thank You for leading me to start singing ♪It Is Well With My Soul♪. It is. I know it is. Along with the hymn itself is the verse associated to it. Psalm 55:18.

Reading the verse, I start humming something else. What is it? How will I put it together? Oh, there it is. In the chorus. ♪Great Is Thy Faithfulness♪ Lamentations 3:22-23.

As I continue reading and singing, there are several hints to me smiling. I attempt to refuse and stay out of sorts. Thank You that You will have none of this for me.

Thank You for a phone call that got me up and started with putting our home back into order. Thank You for the difference that doing just this one thing makes. Yes Father. Thank You.

I confess to feeling peevish. It is absolutely not my best look. Refusing to care about simple, everyday tasks and other people is a complete defense mechanism that no longer serves me well.

I continue looking to You for a healthy balance to my heart, my soul, my mind and my strength. I push. I pull. I struggle. I stop.

(8:19 a.m.)

And then I start again.

♪Give Thanks♪ is singing to me now. And I do, Father. Truly I do.

I thank You for Your love. Your ceaseless, unending love. Your love that covers a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8). 

You call us to live for You. In You. By, with and through You. Make it happen for me this day. Empower and enable me to actually BE the woman You [and I] want me to be. Not the one I continue trying to be.

Grateful. Thankful. Loving. Kind. Peaceful. Patient. Good. Joyful. Gentle. Faithful. Self-controlled (Galatians 5:22-23). Mm… yes Father. An extremely tall bill. One I absolutely cannot fill on my own.

♪Holy Spirit You Are Welcome Here Come flood this place and fill the atmosphere. Your glory God is what our hearts long for, To be overcome by Your presence, Lord♪

Mm… yes please. Do all You must. All of which I am completely unable on my own. Let me love as You would have me love. Freely. Without reservation, or hesitation.

♪Freely, Freely I have received♪ Make it so I will freely give (Matthew 10:8b). Yes, Lord. Yes. Make it so.

I love You. And I thank You Blessed God. Do all You must. Thank You. Amen.

(604 ~ 8:34 a.m.)