proceed

Saturday, April 25, 2015 (6:57 a.m.)

Holy God,

I love You. I'm hurting right now. A lot. My thoughts go back and forth between ignoring the pain and embracing it. Talk to me please about how You would have me proceed.

Looking to Your Word (Job, Jeremiah) I read of various degrees of pain and loss. Reading of their trials, again I count myself blessed. Thankful. Yes. I have stiffness and limited movements. But I also have freedom and choices to make.

You and I communed in nature yesterday. Hours were spent weeding, pruning, considering how to proceed.

Mm. Yes. Proceed. Thank You Father. Thank You that I get to be completely honest with You. I am allowed to whine and want different. And in the process You remind me of all You have given me.

Thank You for the direction our time together took yesterday. Marriages. Respecting husbands. Love. Forgiveness. Truly deep stuff.

Thank You that right there in the midst of all I thought I knew about irritants and avoiding them, pride got in my way again. A perceived slight was immediately followed by annoyance. Huffiness came in where appreciation would have been far better suited.

Father, thank You that You are teaching us so much about forgiveness. Thank You that I want to learn more. I long to share Your love, Your joy, Your peace (patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control – Galatians 5:22-23).

Mm, yes. This too!

Oh, yes, Father I see how convoluted my thoughts seem at any given moment. And how they join together further on.

You started me out with Zechariah 4:5-7 (The Message). Reminding me of Your message to Zerubbabel: “You can't force these things. They only come about through my Spirit.”

Just as I was preparing to go deeper in that direction, the fruit of Your Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) came into play. Another thing that can't be forced. This time spelled out for me by The Message, which has me sitting up and taking notice.

“But what happens when we live God's way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the way that fruit appears in an orchard – things like affection for others [love], exuberance about life [joy], serenity [peace]. We develop a willingness to stick with things [patience], a sense of compassion in the heart [kindness], and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people [goodness]. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments [faithfulness], not needing to force our way in life [gentleness], able to marshal and direct our energies wisely [self-control].”

WOW! Talk about being agog with You! Thank You Father. Thank You for reminding me of how to proceed. In Your Spirit!

Blessed Father I long to be Your worthy example of a woman who lives Your Word. The automatic huffiness that appeared last night reminds us all that I need to keep practicing.

And then Zechariah speaks to me again. Chapter 4, verse 10a. “Do not despise these small beginnings, for the LORD rejoices to see the work begin...”

And still You bless me. The Life Recovery Bible comment for this entire section tells of the discouragement of Your people. They even wondered if You were with them. “Here God gave Zechariah a message of encouragement for His disheartened people. They needed to remember that success was not the result of human strength or ingenuity but a fruit of the Holy Spirit's power.”

See how these two sections come together? Oh thank You Father!

“With this power the difficult task of rebuilding could yet be accomplished. We often become discouraged as we face the massive task [and pain] of recovery, especially when we experience regular opposition from people, emotions, and temptations. But when we recognize our own powerlessness, God can step in. His power is more than sufficient for the task of recovery.”

I believe this Father. I know You to be good and able. Help me proceed as You would have me. Guide. Direct. Circumvent me through the mazes I continue setting up for myself.

You are good. You are holy. I want to love and forgive as You would have. Freely. Regularly. Often. Always. Thank You for helping me proceed thus far. I love You. Thank You. Amen.

(708 words ~ 8:24 a.m.)