cloud / crowd

Saturday, September 13, 2014 (5:26 a.m.)

Holy, Gracious, Loving GOD,

Thank You.

This morning I am highly emotional. I didn't expect to be. The tears are streaming and my heart is full. Thank You.

Thank You for random acts of kindness. Thank You for surprises by others. Thank You for the unexpected.

You placed me in a family that loves one another. Maybe not particularly well, but love all the same. Love that stems from You. Thank You.

Thank You for a cousin who has a huge heart for photography and the restoration of old photos. Thank you for his genuine desire to share them with others. Thank You especially for the certain one he posted recently depicting four generations of our family.

Blessed GOD, I can't even think of it without welling up. Thank You for this kind of emotion! For so very long I had walled myself off from feeling anything. Refusing [unable/unwilling?] to care about most things.

Once again I am hopeful. Caring. Kind [I hope/pray]. And pensive.

On this particular Saturday, this day of all days, I am especially grateful to You. On this very date, five years ago, You saved my brother. From himself. From the demons that run rampant in our family. The demons that are not seen in the above mentioned photo. And I have been so very blessed in the process.

Thank You that it is Your love that has surrounded us every step of our life together. The good times. The bad. The scary. The sad. You've been here through it all with us. Often times more noticeable than others. But here. With us. Nonetheless. Thank You.

Back to my reaction upon seeing this particular photo of people I recognize mostly through other snapshots. A great-grandfather, dearly loved my his namesake. A grandma and grandpa I never really knew. Their youngest son. A favored aunt and her first born. Our very own cloud/crowd of witnesses (Hebrews 12:1).

That was my first thought upon seeing it last night. I truly have thought this for years. But seeing this image of ancestors gathered together over sixty years ago caught me off guard. I wasn't ready. Not prepared. Oh, but how I thank You.

Thank You for the perfect reminder that we do have a cloud/crowd of witnesses surrounding us. Quoting The Message here. Hebrews 12, verses 1-3 begin under the title “Discipline in a Long-Distance Race”. Mm. Yes. Discipline. Please.

“Do you see what this means – all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we'd better get on with it. Strip down, start running – and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we're in. Study how He did it. Because He never lost sight of where He was headed – that exhilarating finish in and with God – He could put up with anything along the way; Cross, shame, whatever. And now He's there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item. That long litany of hostility He plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!”

Mm. Yes. God shoot adrenaline into my soul that I would finish well this race that You've set before me. Here come the tears again. Help me use them well this day. To Your good and to Your glory. I love You. I want You. I need You. And I thank You. Amen.

(598 words ~ 6:43 a.m.)