refusing?

Monday, August 20, 2012 (7:08 a.m.)

Blessed Father,

I’m here asking for Your help. I’ve been talking to You much of the morning, trying to order my thoughts.

At first I thought I was going to spend time pursuing with You the avenue of disappointment. Now I ask instead, am I refusing You anything? It’s absolute not something I’m setting out to do intentionally. But I wonder…

Every single time I say or think, “I don’t care” or “It doesn’t really matter” am I just being plain stubborn? Without meaning to, am I refusing to: obey Your commands (Leviticus 26:15)? Listen to Your voice (Numbers 14:22)? Turn to You, the Lord, the God of Israel (2Chronicles 36:13)? Give my heart to You (Psalm 78:8)? Be comforted (Jeremiah 31:15)?

Thank You Father that I have Your Word to turn to always. Right now I am reading commentaries in The Life Recovery Bible and again am encouraged. I read how Your ‘anger grew’ against Your rebellious people because ‘they continually complained and refused to trust’ You (Psalm 78). I continue reading of Your power and past acts and I see myself in Your cowardly people. “When they should have boldly pressed forward, they ran from the conflict like cowards.”

Hello! Just how much running have I done recently? In Your eyes does avoiding resemble running?

Over in Jeremiah I read the comment for chapter 31. “Here God paints a joyful picture of recovery, with all the details of repentance, sorrow, forgiveness, laughter, restoration, and hope. Once again God’s people would follow His plan for them, and He would receive their worship and praise. We can experience this kind of restoration, too. We start the process by admitting our need for God’s healing power in our life.” [Yes! I do!] “God desires to rebuild His relationship with us, no matter how far we may have strayed from Him. He delights in finding new ways to exhibit His love to those who belong to Him.”

Most Blessed Father God, I confess just how much I have allowed disappointment and sadness to cloud over any sense of hope I usually have had. I bring to You the idealistic thoughts and dreams I once based my belief system on and ask You to rebuild them all according to Your will and Your way.

I love You. I long to live out this life as YOU desire I do. Filled with faith, hope and love (1Corinthians 13:13) NOT doubt, pessimism and apathy! Work in me Blessed Father. Through me. With me. Thank You.
Please remove this refusing attitude as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12). Thank You. I love You. Amen.

(447 words ~ 8:19 a.m.)