honest

Tuesday, September 15, 2009 (7:28 a.m.)

Loving Lord,

I confess. I’m here right now only because I’m ‘supposed’ to be. Yes Lord. The emotions from Sunday are finally kicking in and I admit to feeling really sad right now.

Thank You Lord. Thank You that I get to bring my feelings of sadness to You. Thank You that You are willing to accept me exactly as I am, with feelings of sadness, despair and all.

Lord, thank You that You are bigger than all my feelings. Whether they be positive or negative, my feelings are fleeting. They come. They go. But You are eternal. Thank You Lord.

Thank You that I get to look out my window at this cloudy, hazy day and take solace in Your presence.

(11:58 a.m.)

Oh thank You Loving Lord!

Thank You that hours (of many tears and much sadness) later I get to come back before You truly AGOG with You once again!

I don’t have “all the answers”. In fact, I have far more questions than solutions.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009 (5:16 a.m.)

And here I get to be again,

Thank You Lord. Thank You for laughter yesterday. Thank You for joy. Thank You for the courage to confess a dent I thought I had made in the van ~ that turned out not being from me! J

Lord, how I thank You for the opportunity to be honest. With You, with myself and with others. Lord, thank You for the freedom not to keep trying to pretend. Thank You that my outsides are once again starting to match my insides.

Oh my goodness God! No sooner had I ‘tapped’ the thoughts above then I looked up verses for the words ‘honesty’ and ‘honest’. Jesus’ words in Luke 8:15 speak directly to my heart (as does the whole parable about the sower, the seeds and the soil) “But the good soil represents honest, good-hearted people. They listen to God’s words and cling to them and steadily spread them to others who also soon believe.”

Most holy Lord, I want to be that type of person! I want my roots to grow down deep into Your good, rich, fertile ground. Be with me this day dear Lord. Teach me what You would have me share with others. I love You so much dear Lord. Thank You for continuing to bless me with Your love. Embolden, empower, enable and enrich me to speak freely and honestly about You and Your great love for each of us. I love You so much. Thank You. Amen.

(429 words ~ 7:35 a.m.)