provision

Thursday, July 30, 2009 (8:15 a.m.)

Primm, NV

Beloved God,

I love You! It’s that simple. You give us so much and all the thanks I could ever offer back to You doesn’t even begin to cover the basics of all You are and all You do on our behalf. So I simply begin with I love You.

Even with that said I shift over to thinking “How do I love Thee? Let me count the ways…” and I realize again that I am at such a loss for words. Quotes of other people’s lyrics and rhyme come to mind, but what do I have to say to You that’s just pure and unadulterated from my own heart?

You are good Lord. You provide beauty and joy. You supply our every need. As I search Your Word looking to learn more of Your provision, I find myself reading excerpts of Paul’s letter to the Romans (5:17 to begin).

Friday, July 31, 2009 (7:55 a.m.)

And here we flash forward into today. Still I am grateful and praising You for Your provision Lord!

On the ride home yesterday when Terry suggested we again listen to our standard desert drive CD (The Beach Boys, The Brother Years) there You were as I seemed to truly hear track four (Long Promised Road) for the very first time.

Oh my goodness God! Upon replaying it for the third time, I told Terry “This is very biblical”. Just now while looking up the lyrics I read of another person thinking what an uplifting, hymnal worthy song this is. Yet another of Your provisions Lord! Thank You!

Thank You for providing us with friends Lord. Friends that help us learn more about You, friends that share themselves and their burdens openly. Father, thank You that at this particular time of my life You have me reviewing most of my belief systems. You have me looking deep within myself examining those things that serve me well and those of which I must let go. Thank You God.

Thank You that many years ago, when I wasn’t quite ready for it, the book Forgive for Good came into this house. Thank You Lord that You provided for it to literally fall off the shelf above our bed the other day for me to finally read past the initial introduction. Again, a provision from to You to help me learn how not to take things personally, how not to blame others while holding a grudge and how not to continue to play a victim of circumstance.

So often in Your Word, we read of Your plan of forgiveness. And almost equally as often I get excited about the truth it rings in my heart and my soul, without knowing how to practice it. Thank You Lord that You provide people, places and things that lead us back to Your grace and Your glory. You do not leave us stranded, nor on our own. You have a better way. Strike that. You have provided us the best Way - the ONLY Way, Jesus Christ Your Son.

Thank You Lord for Your provision. You are truly our good and gracious God. Amazing, awesome and absolutely perfect in every way. Thank You for Your love, Your patience, Your kindness, Your goodness, Your gentleness, Your faithfulness, Your joy and every thing You provide that helps us learn to practice self-control (Galatians 5:22, 23). I love You so much Dear Lord! Thank You. Amen.

(571 words ~ 9:13 a.m.)

truth

Wednesday, July 29, 2009 (8:26 a.m.)

Buffalo Bill’s – Primm, NV

Blessed Lord,

Good morning. Praise You. I can’t think of anything to say right now that doesn’t seem stilted.

I love You. That was real. And here it is again. The thought I had upon awakening. Lord, talk to me today about speaking the truth with love.

You are such a good and loving God. You’ve provided us with such perfection. And with that said, I absolutely confess to not understanding the whole free will concept.

You created a perfect world and allowed us [a major part of Your creation] to come along and mess it up with ‘the power of acting without the constraint of necessity or fate; the ability to act at one’s own discretion’.

Thank You that through Your great love for each of us You sent Jesus to come, teach, suffer, die and rise again that none of us would have to perish (John 3:16).

While on the one hand, I marvel at Your contingency [provision for a future event or circumstance that is possible but cannot be predicted with certainty] I often wonder how/why You would go through all the trouble of watching mankind fail again and again throughout the eons of generations. Hmm, could it be the satisfaction it brings You when one of us finally ‘gets’ it and comes running back to You at full speed with arms opened wide? Yeah, I could see how that would make it all worth Your effort!

So, back to ‘speaking the truth with love’ (Ephesians 4:15) - and even here I confess to struggling at knowing what truth really is. Your Word is truth. The Bible Handbook partially describes truth as ‘a revelation of reality as God knows it’.

It goes on to say, “This kind of truth is a dynamic and freeing thing. Men wander about in a world of illusions, guessing at the nature of the universe and struggling with moral judgments, without knowing which of the many competing philosophies of life is best. But when we come to the Word of God we are freed from uncertainty.”

Oh my goodness God! Talk about being “AGOG with God” again! Here I started out with practically nothing to think to say to You and now my mind is jumping all over the place with various degrees of “Aha!”

Continuing with the handbook, “Scripture directs us to reality, pointing us toward good and away from what is wrong and harmful.” Going back up to the first sentence of this special article on truth, “The Hebrew and Greek words for ‘truth’ share a common meaning: each suggests that a thing is ‘true’ when it corresponds to reality.” Resuming in the final paragraph, “In its biblical sense as reality, truth is something which is to be experienced by Jesus’ followers. We are to let His words define the issues of life and to act on His words obediently.”

Pausing here to confess what a tall order letting ‘His words define the issues of life and to act on His words obediently’ appears to be. Ah, but God, what another glimpse of Your grace! Here I was seeking to learn how to speak the truth with love. And there You are knowing that I first must learn what truth and love really are.

John 8:32 told me many years ago “and you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.” Lord, I am asking (asking, seeking, knocking – Matthew 7:7) You right now to continue Your work in me that I will truly be able to live according to Your Word. Paul’s words to the Ephesians (the ones I originally set out seeking this morning) ring especially true for me right now.

Thinking I wanted merely to learn to ‘speak the truth with love’ (4:15) today, I again realize that there is so much more here than meets the eye. Beginning with verse 12, Lord how I ask that You would continue growing me into a righteous woman. “Why is it that He gives us these special abilities to do certain things best? It is that God’s people will be equipped to do better work for Him, building up the Church, the body of Christ, to a position of strength and maturity; until finally we all believe alike about our salvation and about our Savior, God’s Son, and all become full-grown in the Lord – yes, to the point of being filled full with Christ.”

All this leading up to the pinnacle of what I ask You this day, “Then we will no longer be like children, forever changing our minds about what we believe because someone has told us something different or has cleverly lied to us and made the lie sound like the truth (v.14). Instead, we will lovingly follow the truth at all times – speaking truly, dealing truly, living truly – and so become more and more in every way like Christ who is the Head of His body, the Church (15).”

Oh, Dearest Lord God, make it so! I love You so much and I truly want to become all that You have designed me to be. I love You, Lord! So be it! Amen!

(870 words ~ 10:14 a.m.)

seeking

Tuesday, July 28, 2009 (7:17 a.m.)

Thank You Father,

Thank You for bypassing all the excuses I had for me not coming here with You today. Thank You for continuing to encourage me to seek You, Your will and Your way. I love You so much Lord and I confess to the ease with which I choose so many other things over my time with You. Thank You for accepting me exactly as I am, something I ask You to teach me how to do.

Lord, You are [long pause while I seek descriptive words] - God! As I turn in Your Word seeking a clearer picture of how to worship You, I keep being directed to the Chronicles. While turning to them, I found the end of my search for how to describe You just now. You are God. 1 King 18:39 is underlined in my Bible. “The Lord – He is God! The Lord – He is God!” Going back further in the chapter to see what made all the people fall prostrate and cry out, I read of Elijah’s time on Mount Carmel. “At the time of sacrifice, the prophet Elijah stepped forward and prayed: ‘… Answer me, O Lord, answer me, so these people will know that You, O Lord, are God, and that You are turning their hearts back again.’” (v. 36, 37)

Oh Dear Lord, oh that our hearts would truly turn back To You! I allow such minor things to come before You. Various verses in both books of Chronicles speak of seeking You. Not just seeking You, but of setting hearts (and soul – 1Chr. 22:19) on seeking You. These verses (2Chr.11:16, 12:14, 19:3) give me hope and encouragement. Thank You for calling me to You Dear Lord.

Thank You especially for providing me with the description of Hezekiah’s celebration of Passover in 2Chronicles 30:17-20, “Since many in the crowd had not consecrated (made sacred) themselves… Although most of the people… had not purified themselves… Hezekiah prayed for them, saying, ‘May the Lord, who is good [look Lord! Another description of You!] pardon everyone who sets his heart on seeking God – the Lord, the God of his fathers- even if he is not clean according to the rules of the sanctuary.’ And the Lord heard Hezekiah and healed the people.”

Thank You Lord for being such a good and loving God. Keep helping me learn to set my heart on seeking You. I love You so much. Amen.

(416 words ~ 8:25 a.m.)

pain

Sunday, July 26, 2009 (5:58 a.m.)

Blessed Lord,

Still You teach me. You provide. You treat. Surprise, supply and teach. Thank You Lord. Thank You for helping me learn to ask for what I want. Thank You for showing me how to look past what I see. You are so good Lord. And I love You very much.

This morning I come to You in pain. Having barely tweaked the left side of my lower back while bending to pick the laptop up off the floor seemed like such an easy thing to dismiss early yesterday morning. Now I’m rethinking my decision to just ignore the original ‘ouch’, expecting the pain to simply disperse.

Dearest Lord, how often do I do this very thing with other aspects of my life? I allow situations to ‘get under my skin’ and act as if they haven’t. I don’t always take care of things in a timely manner. I pretend, ignore, act as if. Thank You for providing me with this opportunity to remember to pay closer attention to whatever I may be doing at any given time to avoid injury and the resulting pain.

This time the pain is physical. But how often am I not careful enough to avoid mental, emotional, even spiritual pain? Thank You Lord. It’s not that often I remember to give You thanks in the midst of a painful situation.

Turning right now to 1 Thessalonians (5:16-18) I sincerely ask You to help me continue learning to “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

I love You Lord. And I DO thank You, even for the pain. Amen.

(285 words ~ 6:52 a.m.)

forgiveness

Saturday, July 25, 2009 (4:01 a.m.)

Most Amazing God of Glory,

I want to practice being agog with You again. You definitely provide me with more than enough opportunity to be “very eager or curious to hear or see something [from the mid 16^th century Old French en gogues – ‘in fun’].”

Yes Lord. I want desperately to be appreciative and ‘in fun’ with You again! So often You present me with another glimpse of grace; another gift of gratitude. And too many times here of late, I have taken them more for granted than straight to my heart.

Thank You Lord for the work You have been doing in me these last few days in learning again to deal with disappointments. I must confess to doing it poorly. I’ve withdrawn (You did notice my two day absence from my time here with You, did You not?). I’ve pouted. I tried anger for a few days. And then of course, came bitterness and resentment.

Thank You Lord for helping me to remember that we are so much better than that! Because of the blood that You shed for every single one of us, we get to choose to forgive one another as we each have been forgiven.

(9:21 a.m.)

Wow!

No sooner said than put into practice. Father, THANK YOU for some extra hours of sleep and rest, allowing me to be more fully coherent. Thank You for the opportunity just now to identify, right in the moment as it was beginning to happen, a potential resentment.

Oh my goodness God. THANK YOU! My normal modus operandi would have been to ignore or to flee the scene right as a hint of ugliness began to rear its unattractive head. This morning, instead, I stayed more calm than usual. I was able to identify a tone of unpleasantness and promptly ask if the backhanded comment was necessary to be directed at me.

God! That was YOU – at work, in me! THANK YOU!

Thank You that I get to keep coming back to You; asking Your will, seeking Your Way, knocking down the walls I have set up in the futile attempt of keeping myself ‘safe’.

My safety comes from knowing and loving You. YOU are my hiding place! I don’t need to continue rehashing old hurts. I no longer have to hold onto unmet expectations. Through the blood of Your love for us, I get to keep learning to let go of every premeditated resentment I have been holding all these years. THANK YOU GOD!

Thank You that You have so much more for us than we could ever hope to imagine. Thank You that Your love is far more than able to sustain us all. I love You so much Lord and I ask that You would continue Your work in freeing me to be the woman You originally had in mind for me to become. I want desperately to be all that You have in store for me.

I love You Lord! Amen

(505 words ~ 10:01 a.m.)

stewardship

Tuesday, July 21, 2009 (6:59 a.m.)

Beloved Lord God,

Good morning. The day is already sunny and bright and pushing it’s way toward hot again. Help me manage my time much more wisely today than I did yesterday. It is such a precious commodity and I want desperately to treat it as such.

Lord, You are so good to us. In looking for a verse regarding ‘time’ and finding very close to a thousand of them I realized what I really want is to be a good steward. You have provided each of us with the same amount of time. We also have our own set of talents and treasures. Learning to use them all wisely is an art I long to develop.

Father, I love You so much. The choices I make don’t always attest to that. I waste. I squander. I don’t see myself as the “good and faithful servant” (Luke 19:17) I truly desire to become.

Thank You Lord that this morning I get to keep finding Jesus’ words to His disciples here in the book of Luke. I read them and am again encouraged.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009 (6:39 a.m.)

Wow God!

No sooner asked, then delivered! I asked to be a better steward of my time and You provided ample opportunity and commitment to getting the jobs done. Thank You Lord.

I like that I get to keep looking to You. Even when we were taking breaks yesterday, there You were with us. Guiding our conversations. Keeping our tones even. Celebrating the love, honor and respect that comes to us through loving You. Thank You Lord!

On this 81^st anniversary of my dad’s birth, with new to me pictures of his family again I come back to the love You’ve provided through the years. Sadly Lord, I grew up with a lot of misperceptions of what family is and does. The love we had and shared with one another was real and genuine. But it was also skewed. Thank You Lord that You continue working in each of us to make us so much better stewards of Your love.

And that is exactly what I ask of You this morning – You see? I AM learning to ask things of You, thank You very much! For so long I’ve been caught in the exhausting trap of thinking I have to try harder and figure things out for myself by myself. And here You’ve always been just waiting for me to ask.

So yes Lord, here I am bright and early this morning asking You to guide and direct my every thought, decision, direction, desire, my every move. I love You so much Dear Lord and I want desperately to develop this fine art of stewardship You have for us.

Thank You for blessing us and keeping us and making Your sweet face shine upon us and being gracious to us. Thank You for turning Your face toward us and giving us peace. (Numbers 6:24-26)

I love You Lord! Amen.

(504 words ~ 7:51 a.m.)

safe

Monday, July 20, 2009 (7:25 a.m.)

Awesome, Amazing, Incredible Father God,

Thank You! Thank You for such a safe trip. Thank You that even in looking up the word ‘safe’ just now, a whole new direction of thought begins.

Lord, You are so good to us. You provide our every need and then some. Turning to Your Word yesterday on our ten and a half hour car ride home (from a wonderfully blessed two night stay at cousin Tim’s house in Las Cruces, NM) I got to learn a little more. You kept me great company in the back seat, as well as helping me remember a few verses and where most of the books of the Old and New Testaments are found. Thank You for that Lord.

While planning to come here and talk to You more about what I was practicing yesterday (Philippians 4:8 and 1 Corinthians 13:4-7) instead I am in awe of the poetic verses I am discovering with reference to being safe in You. Oh my goodness Lord, You never cease to amaze me!

Thank You Father that even as I am speaking with You and looking up various verses of how others have been kept safe in and with and by You through the years, in comes by beloved husband with a cup of freshly brewed coffee. What a treat.

Lord, thank You for the ways in which You have helped us grow together through the years. Here we are speaking lovingly about the trip we just completed, all the while knowing that it is Your grace that has brought us to where we currently are.

Thank You Lord. As I prepare to leave our time together here and attempt to bring order to this disorganized household, I ask You to go before me. Work within the three of us as we join together to adjust to being home again. Lord, it is only by Your grace that Terry, Justin and I can keep coming back to one another with genuine love for and acceptance of each other. Thank You for continuing Your work in us. And thank You again for a wonderfully blessed and safe trip. I love You Lord. Amen.

(368 words ~ 8:45 a.m.)

well pleased

Thursday, July 16, 2009 (7:44 a.m.)

Fawn Lakes Campsite #5 Red River, NM

Blessed Lord,

Thank You! Thank You for allowing me such opportunity to appreciate the beauty of Your earth. Father, I confess to You knowing I don’t deserve it. Here we are surrounded by Your creation and I still want to talk trash about other people. Lord, I feel so ashamed. I want desperately to be a woman with whom You are well pleased.

Thank You Father that I get to be so incredibly honest with You. You see my heart. You know my thoughts. You are fully aware of what is real in me and what is pretense. And I am blessed by the understanding that You love me in spite of myself. Thank You Father!

Most Beloved Lord, I keep turning in Your Word to places You were pleased, not pleased and well pleased. With every turn of a page I find my hope begin to soar again. Because of Your great love for Your people, You have provided for our every need. Thank You Lord!

Thank You that I get to come before You, exactly as I am. Shameful. Unholy. Unworthy. And all because of Your great love for each of us, I get to leave filled with renewed hope. None of the love You call us to have for one another can be manufactured in and of ourselves. “And now just as you trusted Christ to save you, trust Him, too, for each day’s problems; live in vital union with Him. Let your roots grow down into Him and draw up nourishment from Him. See that you go on growing in the Lord, and become strong and vigorous in the truth you were taught. Let your lives overflow with joy and thanksgiving for all He has done.” (Colossians 2:6,7)

As we prepare to leave this campsite for the day and go up into the higher country, Lord how I ask that You would not only go with us, but before us. Lord, keep working in my heart. Root out the fear and insecurities that dwell so deep inside causing me to look at the faults of others in a skewed effort to build myself up by tearing another down. Despicable. Unloving. Forgivable only by another glimpse of Your grace.

Thank You that You love us so much that You don’t want us to satisfied with our own smug attitudes. Keep working in me I pray Dear Lord. How desperately I want for You to be well pleased with me. I love You! Amen.

(429 words ~ 8:48 a.m.)

love

Tuesday, July 14, 2009 (8:33 a.m.)

Riverside Lodge and Cabins Red River, NM

“Beloved,

“Let us love one another, love one another. For love is of God, And everyone that loveth is born of God And knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God, For God is love. Beloved, let us love one another. First John four: seven and eight.”

Yes Lord! Today I ask that You would teach me more about Your love and loving the way You would have us love.

1Corinthians 13:4-7 describes loves as “patient, kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

Beloved Lord God, I confess to not coming anywhere near loving like that! I want to. Sometimes I even try to. But in day-to-day application, I fail. Often.

How do I begin to stop inwardly judging others and the ways they live their lives. I guess Matthew 7:1-5 sums it up fairly well. “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”

Beloved Lord, how do I ever get to the point where my own eyes are clear? How do I overcome the seemingly constant urge to criticize and condemn the way that others live their lives? This is not something I can even attempt on my own. I have failed so miserably in this area through the years. I need You to do Your work in me. I haven’t enjoyed pointing out the faults of others for years, but that hasn’t stopped me from doing it. I know that it is not something You would have me do, but there’s always that next word about somebody or the way they do something that is practically dying to get out.

I need Your help Dear Lord. You know the things You would and would not have me thinking and saying. In 2 Corinthians 10 (verses 3-5) Paul said, “For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

Lord, I want to live my life with thoughts that are obedient to You. I want to only speak words that are true, helpful, inspiring, necessary and kind. These are things I truly cannot do on my own. Muzzle my mouth today Lord. Let out only those thoughts and expressions that will glorify You. Take all the others and throw them in the lake of fire (Revelation 19:20) that they will be burned and destroyed and no longer part of who and what I long to be. I love You so much Dear Lord. Help me to truly love others as You would have me love. I love You. Amen.

(628 words ~ 9:40 a.m.)

gladness

Monday, July 13, 2009 (6:09 a.m.)

Riverside Lodge Red River, NM

Happy my mom’s 80^th birthday Lord,

Talk with me this morning about rejoicing, giving thanks in all things, not behaving like a spoiled brat most of the time. Growing up. Yes Lord. I want to grow up in You, learning to be glad!

For quite some time now You’ve been pushing me toward gladness and I truly appreciate You for it. Just looking in the concordance Lord, I see columns of verses that refer to rejoicing and being glad, as well as gladness being linked with joy. It all seems so simple Lord. Ah, but therein lies the rub! You are helping me to learn that things of great value are rarely as easy as they seem.

Thank You Lord that because of Your great love for each of us through the years, we have Your Word to guide and support every concept You have for us to acquire. Life in You takes dedication and practice, just like consciously choosing to “be glad” rather than bad or mad or sad.

Lord, I want desperately for You to continue Your purifying work in me. I have been behaving so childishly through the years that it has truly become such an automatic, second nature response for me in most things.

Take yesterday for example, when plans changed and Terry actually left me on the side of the road (in full care of his brother and his wife, but on the side of the road none the less). There I was, fully capable of just going with the flow and understanding another bump in the plans. But internally, whether it showed on the outside or not, I knew a sense of negativity was there and I actually gave in to it for a moment.

Thank You God that You have come into my life to evoke positive change and to grow me up past my own natural bend toward selfishness. I love You so much, Lord. You provide us with blessings of every kind. Keep working in me that I would learn to automatically respond with gladness to all You so wonderfully and adequately supply.

Reading all of Psalm 104, I am again reminded of how perfectly You plan for our every need. Thank You most beloved Lord for all You are and all You do. You are wonderful and I am blessed to be loved by You.

Please watch over my mom today, providing her with that deep seeded joy that comes only from knowing that she is so loved by You and by others. I love You Lord. Thank You. Amen.

(440 words ~ 7:26 a.m.)

glorious

Saturday, July 11, 2009 (5:14 a.m.)

Harrah’s Laughlin, NV

Most Holy Lord God,

Thank You that the very first words out of my mouth this morning were, “Oh my God!” What a view Lord. Waking up with the curtains having been intentionally left open was spectacular. The colors of the eastern sky, set behind the Arizona mountain peaks and ridges were nothing short of glorious.

“But wait! There’s more” As breathtaking as it was to begin with, now the clouds are participating with this morning call to worship. There are pinks and purples swirling together in the north while dead center has some intensely white action going on. It all changes so quickly Lord. Just a glance down at the screen or the keyboard provokes yet another gasp as I return my gaze to Your heavens.

Turning to 1 Chronicles 29:13 in Your Word, I get to read David’s prayer over the building of Your great temple at Jerusalem. Most glorious God, here he thanks and praises Your glorious name. But again, there’s so much more here than originally meets the eye. Even in reading about the details of the building itself, there was encouragement (28:20) in not becoming afraid of the size of the task.

Lord God, thank You that You never ask us to build anything without Your first knowing what Your plan is. Thank You that even though David was not permitted to do any of the actual building as he had originally thought, his last days were still “happily filled with its details and in gathering the resources” (The Bible Handbook).

There is so much more to learn here, but this particular morning I have to jump up, get ready and move on to Albuquerque via Flagstaff. Father, I ask You to continue Your blessings on us during this trip. You’ve made it glorious thus far.

Thank You for Your love and this time to fellowship. I love You so much. Amen.

(326 words ~ 6:26 a.m.)

changes

Friday, July 10, 2009 (8:11 a.m.)

Harrah’s Laughlin, NV

Oh my goodness God,

You are so good! I can’t even begin to fathom the depths of Your grace, Your might, Your majesty.

Lord, it may seem like such a simple thing. But You and I both know how difficult it is – no. Scratch that. Let’s change it to – ‘used to be’. You and I both know how hard it used to be for me to recognize what is really going on as it is happening. Ah, but now. You keep working in me and I get to react to things in present time. Amazing. Awesome. Wonderful. You! At work, in me.

Oh most incredibly amazing wonderful Lord, I love You so much. I love getting to experience all the changes that are taking place around, as well as within each of us. Lord, thank You!

This morning for the very first time in twenty-seven years, when I initially tried memorizing 2 Corinthians 5:17, the verse has come alive to me as never before! “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.”

You are amazing! The work You do in each of us. Knowing exactly what one particular person needs and what another won’t be able to grasp immediately. You keep working in us. Changing us to fit Your perfect mold for us. Amazing. Absolutely amazing!

And what is it that has me so awestruck? The fact that I couldn’t proceed with packing for this present trip until Terry and I had successfully communicated what was going on with each of us. There was something ‘wrong’ between us that neither of us could identify. Our old nature would have been to avoid the problem and just keep working to reach our end goal.

Thank You God that You would have none of that. Thank You for providing me with the courage to completely stop what we were doing and orchestrate change in our behaviors. Such positive growth and maturity only comes from You. Again, You amaze me.

One minute I was feeling desperate just to have my husband ‘like me’ again and the next I was fully aware of the truth that help set us free (John 8:32) to be open and honest with one another. Recognizing mid sentence that after 36 years of being together if he didn’t like me by now we really were in serious trouble, I was able to push that thought completely aside. A first! Serious growth taking place here!

And why? Because You are so hard at work in each of us. Lord, I never thought I’d get to the place where I could even begin to consider thanking You for my mom’s current illness. The added work, the stress, the time, the ‘but what about my life?’ selfishness involved in her care… But here I am, wholeheartedly thanking You for all You are teaching us about ourselves and each other through this entire process. None of us would be experiencing the changes currently taking place within and around us had we each been allowed to remain in our own self-absorbed comfort zones. Thank You Lord.

Thank You for taking us from the old to the new, from the false to the Truth. From ourselves to You. Again I say, “Amazing!”

And what has me so amazed? The fact that I could recognize a potential problem – that I could not possibly be ready by the time Terry had set for us to leave. I confessed to him that I was not capable of meeting his request and asked for a later departure. Who knew it could be so simple? Yeah, well I guess YOU did! But really, after 36 years of me spinning myself into points of frenzy trying to give him everything I thought he wanted without ever risking disappointing him, how much easier it was to just say, “I can’t do it. Can we do this instead?”

Lord, this new life in You, taken quite literally really IS freeing. To be able to acknowledge almost immediately the other night when I realized that I had again fallen into the lifelong habit of telling someone what I thought they wanted to hear. Thank You for the awareness it took for me to be able to say to our son, “You know what? I really DO want that yogurt you offered me, even if it IS going to be inconvenient for you to have to go get.” New behavior for me Lord! Brand new behavior.

“When someone becomes a Christian, he becomes a brand new person inside. He is not the same anymore. A new life has begun!” (The Living Bible)

Beloved Lord, thank You for the changes You have brought about. And thank You, in advance, for the power You are going to provide for each of us to meet the challenges that are sure to come our way as a direct result to all these changes. I love You so much Dear Lord. And I am ever grateful for another glimpse of Your grace! Thank You. Amen.

(861 words ~ 11:41 a.m.)

More so

Thursday, July 9, 2009 (5:11 a.m.)

Amazing God,

Truly. Absolutely. Incredibly. Amazing God. You are doing it again, Lord. Right before my very eyes, the morning is unfolding and all I want is to sit here and watch. Beloved Friend, I confess to You how little time I have and how much I have yet to do.

Thank You Lord that although my continued thought process was to eliminate this time taker from my day, Your good common sense for me triumphed! Rather than spin myself into circles trying to do the impossible and be ready to leave on another trip in the next six and a half hours, here I am instead saying straight out loud “I need Your help God!”

You provide my every need! It’s what You do. You keep working in me. You continue changing, redirecting, refocusing me. I start going off in one direction and ever so gently You guide me back to what truly is most important in all of this – YOU!

Oh most dear and beloved Lord, I confess that I don’t know how to accomplish what all is on my list of things to do before we leave. But You do! You know what I can afford to remove completely from the list and what has to be done. Thank You for reminding me that time spent alone with You is not optional.

Shortcuts can – Oh my God! You just did it again! I thought the prism in the sky last night was phenomenal [which of course it was thank You very much!] but this current artwork You have going on here in the sky right now Lord is all the more so! Really God? A red cloud! With black pixels? I am again speechless!

Much like last night when I just had to sit down to take in the awesome majesty of seeing a prism in the sky, here I actually had to run outside to capture even more of Your awesome and incredible beauty.

Lord, thank You! Thank You for reminding me that these are the priorities of my life! The can’t afford to miss moments. Lord, You are amazing. Truly. Absolutely. Incredibly. And I have all of my hope and faith and trust resting in the goodness of You and Your Word. Whatever is supposed to come of this day, of this trip Lord, I give it all up to You. I have no expectations. No preconceived itinerary. My only absolute is You! You will be here with me wherever I am, whatever we do. Thank You Lord!

Okay. As much as I would rather just stay right here with You, reading “The Offering” of 2 Corinthians 8 [led here because of verse 22]. I must go. It’s time. I love You. Work in us. Work with us. Make us into the familial unit You would have us be.

I love You so much Dear Lord. [Have I mentioned I haven’t even packed?] Amen!

(495 words ~ 6:27 a.m.)

embedded

Wednesday, July 8, 2009 (5:57 a.m.)

“Blessed Assurance,

“Jesus is mine! O what a foretaste of glory divine! Heir of salvation, purchase of God, Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood. This is my story, this is my song, Praising my Savior all the day long; This is my story, This is my song, Praising my Savior all the day long.”

Oh my goodness God! When is the last time I have gasped while looking out the window in the morning? The clouds look like brush strokes. The colors are muted. But look. Here comes the sun, right over the crest of the mountains. And now I’m preparing for even more beauty.

How glorious it is to live our life in You, learning to constantly expect more. Lord, I remember just over a month ago [5/30/09] actually asking You for ‘more’. And here I am today, preparing for another trip, but in an entirely different mindset.

This time away seems to be accompanied with it’s own set of obstacles. So far every one of them has eventually brought me back to recognizing my need to have all my trust and faith firmly embedded in You.

Blessed Lord, that’s how I want to live. Firmly embedded in You! With Your Word firmly embedded in me! Let’s work together to make that happen, shall we? You keep guiding and directing me in the Way You would have me go. And I’ll keep depending on You to help me up every single time I fall down.

I love You so much Oh Lord. The Teacher of Ecclesiastes says in chapter 12, verse 11 “The words of the wise are like goads [a spiked stick used for driving cattle; a thing that stimulates someone into action] their collected sayings like firmly embedded nails – given by one Shepherd.” Lord, I want to be wise! Keep working in me. Help me become the woman You created and want me to be.

I love You. Amen.

(331 words ~ 8:16 a.m.)

dependence

Saturday, July 4, 2009 (7:49 a.m.)

Blessed Lord,

Independence Day. A day for celebrating all You have provided us as a country through the years. Thank You Lord. Thank You for the blessings that abound for each of us. You are such a good and generous God. Thank You for providing us Your power and strength.

Lord God, I look to You dependently. What freedom there is to be found in loving You and following Your will. Thank You Lord.

As I’ve continued learning to take better care of myself this past week, I see many of my relationships with others growing and changing. Thank You Lord. This is all completely related to my dependence on You!

Two verses in the New Living Translation speak to our dependence on You. Hosea 12:6, “So now, come back to your God! Act on the principles of love and justice, and always live in confident dependence on your God.” James 4:10, “When you bow down before the Lord and admit your dependence on Him, He will lift you up and give you honor.”

How often do we insist on going our own way Lord? We choose to bow down before false idols. We waste time and energy chasing things that are not nourishing or ultimately satisfying.

Thank You that You never change! You are always here inviting us back to Your fold.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009 (6:27 a.m.)

Oh My Goodness God!

Just being able to sit here again, with my Bibles spread all around me, reading others’ thoughts on Your Words I have the silliest grin on my face. It is so comforting to read of Your faithfulness.

This has been a particularly tough week for me Lord. Not having felt well, things around here have kind of spiraled to a place nearing chaos. So of course, You would provide for me to turn to a commentary that speaks directly to this. The Bible Handbook writes regarding The Prayer of Faith (James 5:13-18) “Health is an inner and spiritual state as well as a physical one.” Oh, but it doesn’t stop convicting me there. No, no. “This suggests perhaps that the illness is related to bitterness against someone wronged, and cleansing that relationship is vital for healing.”

Father, as I read Your Word, I realize again how very grateful I am to You. Thank You so much for loving and providing for me so well. Digging deeper, I read Your verses and I confess to You Lord just how ugly my anger towards others was. My stubborn refusal to “just let it go” when requested by Terry truly backfired on me. Father God, I confess to You there was absolutely nothing loving (as described in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7) in my approach to our quite petty misunderstanding.

Lord, I believe that very anger worked devastatingly hard against me to create my current medical state. Even as I shake my head here, another small smile comes across my face. I consider my own righteous indignation as I held so tightly to my ‘right’ to be that angry and I confess to how wrong I was. Nowhere in Your Word do I find anything that even remotely supports that mistaken idea.

Thank You Lord that You have allowed my body to react so acutely to such negativity. I feel embarrassed Lord that I had to get this sick to remember that unreleased anger is never the answer to any of our problems. As in every other aspect of my being Lord, I am grateful that my dependence is in You.

I love You so much Oh Lord. Thank You for all You are and all You do. Truly I would appreciate Your healing hand in my return to much better health. Continue Your work in teaching me all You have for me to learn Dear Lord. I love You. Amen.

(636 words ~ 8:31 a.m.)

Holy

Thursday, July 2, 2009 (6:35 a.m.)

Most Holy God,

How wonderful it is to wake up singing, “Hallelujah to the Lord of heaven and earth”. Thank You Lord! And then to find out again [don’t I do this every time?] that it is from “God of Wonders, beyond our galaxy You are holy, holy The universe declares Your majesty You are holy, holy Lord of heaven and earth”. Oh most blessed Lord, how I thank You for Your holiness.

Thank You Father that at just the right moment You provide exactly what we need. As one person prepares for a date in court, I am led to share Isaiah 8:13. “Do not fear anything except the Lord Almighty. He alone is the Holy One. If you fear Him, you need fear nothing else.”

Not only are You holy, but loving and merciful and kind. Thank You God. Thank You that it is Your desire that we learn to love You with all our heart and soul and mind and strength (Mark 12:30, see Deuteronomy 6:5). Lord, how I come before You this morning asking that You would provide us the power and the will to do exactly that.

It all seems easy enough in print. Ah, but comes the application! I fail Lord. Time after time, I choose resentment over forgiveness. Thank You that You are a forgiving God and we are made in Your image (Genesis 1:26). Thank You that You didn’t just leave us here to flounder and fail. Thank You that You continue offering Your much better Way (John 14:6).

Lord, I truly appreciate the various verses You are showing me this morning. Help me not just look at them admiringly. Enable and empower me to absorb and apply them to my day and all the interactions it provides.

Finishing up with the second of Your most important commandments, “Love others as well as you love yourself” (Mark 12:31) I am taken over to Leviticus 19:18 where it is first referenced. And while here I glance over to a commentary for 18:4,5. “God promises life to all those who live according to His program. The Hebrew expression ‘to live’ does not just mean ‘to exist’. It refers to finding contentment and enjoyment in life – living life to its fullest. While the personal moral standards in this section of Leviticus are quite restrictive, God’s plan offers freedom beyond our wildest dreams. It is the paths of sin that are truly restrictive. When we obey God’s standards we are free to discover life as God intended it to be. His plan leads to peace and contentment through mature and satisfying relationships.”

“Hallelujah to the Lord of heaven and earth! You are holy, holy…”

Thank You Lord. Helps us be exactly who You, in Your infinite wisdom, created us to be. I love You so very much. In Your Son’s most holy name I pray. Amen.

(487 words ~ 8:38 a.m.)