Forgive!

 Friday, September 15, 2023 (6:18 a.m.)

Forgive me Father,

I’ve been reluctant. Resistant. Refusing. Rebelling. Not the best way to end yesterday. Nor begin today.

Perfect song to wake up with though. Actually had to giggle a bit. ♪Fool♪ That would be me!

Allowing a slight to burrow in to a hurt. And holding onto that hurt over everything else. Almost like a game. Who will cave first?

Forgive me God. You HAVE taught me better than this. The easy route is to wall off. Block out.

Do in, with, by, though and for me Lord all that I am completely unwilling to do myself. Forgive.

There it is. I’ve known for almost a day that all I have to do is that. Just forgive.

And therein restarts the struggle. There’s a part of me that really wants to just let it go. It was so minor. An absolute slight. And I’ve continued adding to it ever since.

Withdraw. Turn away. Be polite. Not raise a voice. But still not forgive. Excuse. Or overlook.

Yet I keep coming back to You. Asking, seeking, knocking (Matthew 7:7) for Your forgiveness. ♪Your forgiveness Is like sweet, sweet honey On my lips♪

(7:15 a.m.)

Finally! After this song [♪Fool♪]. And that [♪Holy Water♪]. Looking here. Searching there. Reading in Psalms (51). Romans (2:4). 1 John 1:9. Here’s Mark 11:25.

Father, I cannot circumvent [bypass, get around, evade, avoid] Your will. Nor am I able to manufacture any degree of goodness on my own.

Thank You God that Your will is so much greater than my won’t! When I am not able, You are!

Easy-to-Read Version. “When you are praying and you remember that you are angry with another person about something, forgive that person. Forgive them so that your Father in heaven will also forgive your sins.”

Taking this Truth over to The Life Recovery Bible comment. “11:20-25 God wants us to pray for His will to be done in our life as much as He wants us to pray for fruitfulness in His Kingdom work.”

Thank You Father for the smile that comes as I continue reading. “It is God’s will, however, to remove mountains of resistance [thank You Lord!] or denial from our life. God has the power to do miracles - but not if we doubt Him.”

Yes Father! It wasn’t You I doubted. It was me. I knew I needed to trust You to do in, with, by, through and for me all that I could not on my own. Wondering if I couldn’t or wouldn’t, I lay myself before You Lord.

“If we want God to work a miracle of healing in our life, we must pray and believe that He will. We need to admit our helplessness and put our life into God’s hands. He will then walk with us as we face each new step in recovery.”

Interesting, God. Here’s another song. Thank You for the ways You provide.

♪God Will Make A Way Where there seems to be no way He works in ways we cannot see He will make a way for me He will be my guide Hold me closely to His side With love and strength for each new day He will make a way♪

Thank You that You do Dearest God! Whether I couldn’t, or wouldn’t forgive, You made the way. Laying aside the slight that led to the grudge, my heart is free to praise You.

Jesus speaking [in Names of God Bible]. “That’s why I tell you to have faith that you have already received whatever you pray for, and it will be yours. Whenever you pray, forgive anything you have against anyone. Then your Father in heaven will forgive your failures” (Mark 11:24-25).

Father, thank You for doing that which I am unable. Opening and changing my heart. Breathing forgiveness in where I refused it. Empowering and enabling me to love as You would have me love.

You. With all of my heart, soul, mind and strength. My neighbor as myself (Mark 12:30-31). Do all You must to this end.

I love, need, trust and want You Lord. Forgive and use me as only You can. Thank You. Praise You. Amen.

(716 words ~ 8:42 a.m.)