learning to lament

Sunday, March 11, 2018 (7:00 a.m.)

Awesome God,

I am asking You to talk with me concerning my learning to lament. It’s a relatively new-to-me topic. I confess to struggling with the seemingly fine line difference between truly lamenting and simply complaining.

Griping, growling, groaning, grumbling… those all come relatively easy for me. So much so that I try desperately hard to avoid them. Now I’m learning that we’re not called to gloss over the hard stuff, we are to grieve it.

Hmm. Work in me I pray. Reading in Psalms, Lamentations, Habakkuk, Zephaniah and Zechariah I find examples of Your people who truly lamented. They didn’t pretend. They cried out to You. Honestly.

Thank You Father. Thank You for reminding us throughout Your Word of our need to be honest with You. Psalm 23:4 (New Life Version) tells us, “Yes, even if I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will not be afraid of anything, because You are with me. You have a walking stick with which to guide and one with which to help. These comfort me.”

Holy God, I confess to attempting to avoid walking through the dark things. I look long and hard for the positive in the valleys as if to bypass experiencing the pain. Teach me, I pray, to lean into and trust You to carry me through all the hurt I have yet to allow myself to feel.

There are disappointments. Disillusions. Wrong beliefs. Challenges. Illnesses. Denials. Deaths. All of which I thought I handled fairly well. Now we’re coming to the Truth. Your loving, wonderful Truth.

I actually need to grieve the losses. Not pretend my way through them. Truly feel them. Teach me I pray.

(10:24 a.m.)

How I thank and praise You!

Here again I get to read of Truth and freedom (John 8:31-32). While I do not claim to understand the complexity behind these seemingly simple words, I do ask You to make them real in my life.

“Jesus said to the people who believed in Him, ‘You are truly my disciples if you keep obeying my teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.’”

I seek Your freedom Father.

The Life Recovery Bible devotional Honesty (John 8:30-36) begins by asserting, “Living in denial is living dishonestly.” It concludes with, “The spiritual forces that sway our life have roots in either truth or deceit. Truth leads to freedom; deceit leads to bondage and death.”

I confess to the deceit that has kept me bound. I have yet to grieve the losses in my life. My parents. Many hopes. And dreams.

Work in me Father. By, with, through and for me. Bring me to a point of lament, grief and healing. I love You. I need You. I trust You. I choose You. And I ask You. Oh, how I ask You. Do all You must to free me from this self-imposed prison of my own making.

Yes Father. Teach me. Free me. Thank You. Amen.

(517 words ~ 10:48 a.m.)