plans

Sunday, January 31, 2010 (6:15 a.m.)

Mom’s Family Room

Most Blessed and Beloved God,

You are teaching me. I am learning. Slowly. Steadily. Some lessons easier than others.

Mm. Most Holy Lord. I sit. I look. I read Your Word. I think. I ponder. I wonder. I thank. Yes Lord. I thank You!

I was honest with You yesterday. I confessed my concerns and went out in Your strength. It was Your power that gave me the courage to put one foot in front of the other. Repeatedly.

Most Loving Father, thank You for Your hand upon our hearts. Thank You for knowing the plans Your have for us. “Plans for good and not for evil. Plans to give us a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

Oh Most Dear and Perfect Lord ~ I had so many plans yesterday. And by spending time alone with You in Your Word before attempting to implement any of them, You gave me the power, the strength, the courage and the wisdom to follow through when MY plans all started to fall apart.

Lord, I love You so much. Sometimes it seems so lame to just say that to You over and over again.

Oh but Lord ~ it is so true! Beginning in Your Word this morning, I turned to Proverbs 31 and was promptly reminded of all the things as a wife and mother that I am not! Oh yes ~ but THIS time I was keenly aware of the areas in which I have improved.

Thank You Lord! Thank You for opportunity to grow and change. Thank You for being able to hope and trust in You.

Again I read 2Peter 1:1-11. I see things differently than I have in the past. I notice the progress that is to be made by following each step as it was ordained. “Want more peace? Learn to know Him better” (v2).

Mm, yes Lord. Help me know You better!

Thinking again of plans ~ my plans, Your plans… I started flipping my way toward Jeremiah 29:11. Previous underlining and exclamation points caused me to stop short at chapter 18 to read “The People Refuse to Listen” and about “Giving Up Control”.

Lord, I confess how cunningly baffling my own plans for maneuvering through each and every day have once again turned back into my own feeble attempts to control their outcome. Thank You for reminding me yet again that YOU are the Potter ~ I am the clay! YOU are the One in charge. “In the beginning YOU created the heavens and the earth” (Genesis 1:1).

YOU are the One with the plans! YOU know what You are doing! Come into me this day I pray oh Lord that I would truly learn to know You better and better (2Peter 1:2). Thank You Lord. I love You. So much! Amen.

(477 words ~ 7:12 a.m.)

excellence

Saturday, January 30, 2010 (6:25 a.m.)

Incredibly Awesome God,

Thank You! Ten minutes ago my plan was to come before You complaining about the cranky irritable feelings I keep having. One step into the hallway and that all changed. Thank You Lord for the early breathtaking view of the moon that is to be completely full twelve hours from now. An awe-inspired gasp literally left my lips without thought. Thank You Lord!

I confess to having thought that that was all it was going to take to rid me of this overwhelming feeling of irritation that I keep experiencing. Now I realize that it is not. Lord, how I ask that You would protect me from myself. I keep wanting more of what I don’t have. More peace. More power. More protection. More of You.

Truly Lord, I desire excellence! I want to love and be loved well. We have worked all these years in our own power and strength. Shift my focus back to You where it belongs. You are the true source of all our needs.

It is in You that I long to find my rest. It is only in You that I place my faith, my hope, my trust. Teach me Lord. In this year of learning to love as You would have me love, show me how to know You better.

Peter started his second letter by praying Your blessing of special favor and wonderful peace to those who come to know You, Jesus, our God and Lord, better and better. Verse three tells us, “As we know Jesus better, His divine power gives us everything we need for living a godly life. He has called us to receive His own glory and goodness!” Yes please!

“And by that same mighty power, He has given us all of His rich and wonderful promises. He has promised that you will escape the decadence all around you caused by evil desires and that you will share in His divine nature.” (2 Peter 1:4)

Lord, I long to live and breathe as though I absolutely trust and believe that! I keep second-guessing. Rehearsing. Pretending.

“So make every effort to apply the benefits of these promises to your life. Then your faith will produce a life of moral excellence. A life of moral excellence leads to knowing God better (v 5). Knowing God leads to self-control. Self-control leads to patient endurance, and patient endurance leads to godliness (6). Godliness leads to love for other Christians, and finally you will grow to have genuine love for everyone (7). The more you grow like this, the more you will become productive and useful in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ (8).”

Mm. How I pray, asking that You would do this in and for me Lord. Guide and direct my heart, my soul, my thoughts and my steps this day. I long to be Yours. ‘Fill me with Your love and divine power, so that I will make every effort to apply the benefit of these promises to my life, ultimately knowing You better via a faith producing life of moral excellence.’

This is far too great an order for me to even begin on my own Dearest Lord. Please provide my every need and right attitude. I love You Lord. Help me know and love You better. Thank You. Amen.

(559 words ~ 7:36 a.m.)

miss out

Friday, January 29, 2010 (5:59 a.m.)

Blessed Lord,

I didn’t want to miss it again. Time alone with You. Watching the sky change colors in the early morning hour. Mm. God, thank You for such a wonderful day yesterday. Oh! And look at such beauty already this morning!

Oh. Most dear and glorious Lord, how I thank You for such beauty. Such glory. Such love. Yes Lord. Your love, poured out upon each of us, over and over again. Your love. A gift, beyond measure.

Lord God, I sit here feeling content. Blessed. Knowing You have Your hand on our lives. I confess to You Dearest God of the days I feel lost. Uncertain. Thank You for Your gifts of the past few days that have allowed me the awe and reverence for You that You so rightly deserve.

Mm. Lord. I missed out on this time here with You yesterday. I did it on purpose. At the request of our seventeen year old, I awaited the delivery of two soft scrambled eggs and a sliced orange. A hypothetical order I placed if, "say for instance, a favorite godson wanted to make breakfast for his favorite Nina".

Because of our own miscommunications, I almost missed out on time with him as well! Lord. Thank You that You brought him back, after having gotten partially down the street, so that I could enjoy his company, as well as his offering.

Lord. It truly is in the little things that I feel so loved. People remembering and celebrating the day I was born. Notes. Phone calls. Cards. Gifts. Oh Dearest Lord, where do I start at thanking You for the outpouring of Your love through others?

“A Call to Listen to God” is emboldened right above Hebrews 12:14. Mm. Lord. Mm, that I would not only listen to You, but obey You as well.

“Try to stay out of all quarrels, and seek to live a clean and holy life, for one who is not holy will not see the Lord. Look after each other so that not one of you will miss out on God’s best blessings. Watch out that no bitterness takes root among you, for as it springs up it causes deep trouble in their spiritual lives.” (Hebrews 12:14-15)

As I continue looking through Your Word Dearest Lord, love is the overwhelming theme. (1Corithians 13:13, “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”) It’s what lasts. It’s Your greatest gift to us, through Your only begotten Son (John 3:16).

If last year was my time to practice “keeping it so simple”, could this year be dedicated to me learning to love as You would have me love? I love You so much already Lord. Help me do it better!

I love You. Thank You! Amen.

(475 words ~ 7:06 a.m.)

Proverbs 22:17-19

Wednesday, January 27, 2010 (5:28 a.m.)

Blessed Lord,

More than twenty minutes and many smiles have been spent just now searching Your Word. I woke up thinking of one direction and got out here and it just didn’t seem ‘right’.

Thank You Lord that Your plans are so much better than mine. In fact, Jeremiah 29:11 was one of the verses I thought of first thing upon awakening. I read all of Proverbs 27 and had several verses ring out to me. But it’s Proverbs 22:17-19 that again causes me to pause and dig even deeper.

Most Holy and Loving God, How I thank You for Your love. Thank You for Your Word. Thank You for Your faithful followers throughout the years who have helped me be able to sit here in the warmth and comfort of this home learning more about what You have for me to know.

Proverbs 22:17-19 (TLB) “Listen to this wise advice; follow it closely, for it will do you good, and you can pass it on to others: Trust in the Lord.”

Mm. Lord. Trust in You. Yes. Lord. Trust in You. ♫With all my heart. And lean not on my own understanding. In all my ways acknowledge You. And You will direct my path♫

The contributors to The Life Recovery Bible (1992) said this in their Recovery Commentary Notes for these verses, “Here Solomon repeated one of his favorite themes in Proverbs: it is wise to put our trust in God. He alone is the source of perfect love and truth. It is only by surrendering to Him that we can experience true love and discover how our life should be lived.”

Hmm. And all these years I’ve tried working harder and faster to get the job done. Surrender to You. Hmm. “Trust in the Lord.” Yes Lord. I’d like to work on that instead. Thank You, Lord. I love You. Amen.

(316 words ~ 6:47 a.m.)

Lord, You are...

Tuesday, January 26, 2010 (4:22 a.m.)

Blessed. Beloved. Glorious. Awesome. Wonderful. Mighty. Almighty. Most Holy God,

See? Now THAT’S the way I like to wake up in the morning! Thinking of all the things You are. Mm. Yes. Lord, You are…

♫… more precious than silver. Lord, You are more costly than gold. Lord, You are more beautiful than diamonds, and nothing I desire compares with You.♫ (Proverbs 3:14,15)

Mm. Most Amazing God. Thank You! Thank You for the tiny little ways You remind me that You are here. That You are near. That You want the very best for me.

Take yesterday morning. After days of searching for a small, key piece to our coffee maker. With no more ideas of where to look, and no longer even thinking about it, there in the dark (and my bare feet) I stood praising You, for the lost was indeed found.

Thank You God. It’s moments like those that I am keenly aware of Your message to Zerubbabel, “‘Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the Lord Almighty’” (Zechariah 4:6).

Lord, I confess. I forget to come to You with most things. Far too often I still try desperately to figure problems out on my own. You’ve been so good to me already. How can I possibly keep coming back to You asking for more? Oh but then again. How can I not!

Lord, I love You so much. The opportunity to read Proverbs 3 in The Message just now is wonderful. Eugene Peterson aptly titles the first twelve verses, “Don’t Assume You Know It All”. Mm. Lord. Thank You for Your reminders. Thank You for calling me to You.

Work in me today. Build up Your wisdom and common sense (v. 21) that I will “never tire of loyalty and kindness” (v.3). Lord, I ask that I will “hold these virtues tightly. Write them within [my] heart.”

Oh You are good Lord! Thank You so much. I love You. Amen.

(334 words ~ 5:33 a.m.)

starting

Friday, January 22, 2010 (4:34 a.m.)

Beloved God,

I don’t know where to start this morning. I’ve gotten so used to waking up with a song or a thought, a word or a phrase that I really don’t know where to begin. By starting, of course!

Thank You Lord. I love getting to turn in Your Word. Scouring for what You would have me know. There’s so much Dear Lord. Will You guide and direct me to what You would have me see this morning?

I read some of the Preacher/Teacher’s (Solomon?) thoughts

Monday, January 25, 2010 (6:55 a.m.)

And then I promptly gave up and avoided You for several days. Forgive me Lord. You deserve far better from me than avoidance.

Thank You for a new day, a fresh start. Let’s see if I can finally finish what I started last week. Yes?

To begin with, I love You. I wasn’t willing to say that the other day. I didn’t want it to sound manufactured or fake. I don’t even remember what was going on that kept me reserved in expressing myself to You. But today I can say it without reservation. I love You Lord.

Thank You for allowing me such grace. Lord, I’ve thought about You all this time. I’ve entered Your Word trying to make sense of why it feels like I’m avoiding You. I start to read and then feel frustrated and want to give up again.

Speak to me I pray, Dear Lord. In words You have for me. In the way You know I need to be able to continue here with You each day.

I miss the peace I normally experience in our time together. I confess to feeling unsettled, even agitated, with You. That’s how I usually feel without You! Guide me. Direct me to what it is You have to say to me. Don’t let my own understanding of anything get in the way of what it is You want me to know.

I DO love You God! Unsettled. Uneasy. Displaced. Displeased. Lots of other feelings all laid here on Your altar of love. I don’t know where in Your Word You would have me turn. I don’t know where to start.

And just like I ignored the Sound of Music song in my head on Friday, I’m tempted to disregard it again right now. Thinking I know better, it seems easier for me to continue searching Your Word for what I think You’d have me find.

Instead I will heed the song and ♫start at the very beginning. A very good place to start…♫ Genesis 1:1, “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.” Thank You God.

Thank You that You have always known what You are doing. From the very beginning, when You first started creating things. You knew what needed to come first. You are “not a God of disorder but of peace” (1Corinthians 14:33).

Lord, I confess to not understanding my ‘short fuse’ of late. I bring to You my irritation with people, places and things. I offer up to You the wretchedness I’ve been trying so hard to hide from You, as well as myself. Yes Lord, ♫Let’s start at the very beginning. A very good place to start.♫

Order me this day dearest Lord. My heart, my soul, my mind and my strength that I would love You as You command (Mark 12:30). As much as I love You already, purify it (me) and make me whole.

Thank You for Your patience with me and especially Your love. I love You so much. Amen.

(599 words ~ 8:09 a.m.)

Mighty Fortress

Wednesday, January 20, 2010 (5:39 a.m.)

Mighty Fortress,

Hmm. What a glorious thought is that! You Lord, “my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is (You are!) my shield, the strength of my salvation, and my stronghold” (Psalm 18:2).

Thank You Lord! Everyday it is becoming more natural to turn to You. In the past I was much more ready to turn to my own good (?) common sense, or the court of public opinion.

Thursday, January 21, 2010 (4:15 a.m.)

Whoa! Lord! Look at what happened there! I got sidetracked. Didn’t even finish the touting of how much You have changed my life. And the very next thing we knew, I was taken out by a three year old!

Thank You Lord! Thank You that it was just about an hour ago that I woke up with a tiny bit of realization about what took place yesterday.

You and I had started out so strong together! ♫A mighty fortress is our God, a bulwark (defense) never failing♫ It was all going so well.

Ah. And then I switched over to thinking I could play ‘catch-up’ with You as soon as I got the high-schooler off to school. That was a really bad decision Lord!

Not twenty minutes before was I singing Your praises ♫Our helper He amid the flood Of mortal ills prevailing♫ only to be caught off guard.

My plans were interrupted. I took things personally. And for the first time in I don’t even remember how long, I binge ate over the frustration of it all.

So much for it’s “becoming more natural to turn to You”! Lord, I confess to full on turning to my own common sense (definitely NOT good!). I feel embarrassed to tell You how easy it was to take this time with You yesterday so casually. The thought was absolutely “Lord, let me go take care of this one ‘important’ thing and I’ll be right back.” What a really NOT good decision! Lord, You deserve so much more from me.

♫For still our ancient foe Doth seek to work us woe – His craft and pow’r are great, And armed with cruel hate, On earth is not his equal♫ My self esteem took such a hit yesterday Lord. I clearly did NOT see what was happening. In no time at all I had gone from knowing I am fully protected by You, to once again trying to solve situations in my own strength and power. And let us not of course forget the eating debacle.

Forgive me Lord! I know better! It was all so subtle. I didn’t even recognize what was happening. Thank You that I don’t have to stay in past (really bad) behaviors. Thank You that You ARE “our refuge and our strength, a tested help in times of trouble” (Psalm 46:1). Forgive me for once again taking You and Your help for granted.

I love You so much Lord. Continue Your life changing work in each of us Dearest Lord. Your love IS so amazing! Let me not slip back into the negative patterns of my past. “Lord, how I love You! For You have done such tremendous things for me.” (Psalm 18:1) You! Our Mighty Fortress. Thank You Lord. Amen.

(555 words ~ 5:21 a.m.)

FOREVER!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010 (5:10 a.m.)

♫Our Father,

♫Which art in heaven Hallowed be Thy name Thy kingdom come Thy will be done On earth as it is in heaven Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil For Thine is the Kingdom and the power and the glory Forever Amen♫

Forever Lord. It’s still the concept that is beyond my reach. Eternity. Always. Without end. I remember as a kid being somewhat afraid of the idea. Now as an adult I know to “Fear not” and “Do not be afraid”. So instead I wonder. And these days I like it that I bring the bulk of my wonders directly to You.

Thank You Lord. Thank You that even as I sit here trying to get a clue about forever, song after song sing out to me. ♫You have called, I have come to the House of the Holy One You are God, I will run into You♫

Who needs more hope than what You offer? Thank You Lord that I get to have such easy access to the words of songs that sing themselves to me. Thank You that so often in church that I am overwhelmed by the Truth they represent that I can only nod my head in agreement as I brush and blot away the tears.

♫I will love You for the Cross And I will love You for the cost Man of suffering, Bringer of my peace You came into a world of shame And paid a price we could not pay Death that brought me into life Blood that brought me home♫

Oh most Holy God ♫I once was fatherless, a stranger with no hope; Your kindness wakened me, Awakened me, from my sleep Your love it beckons deeply, a call to come and die. By grace now I will come And take this life, take Your life.♫

Most Dear and Holy Righteous God, how I thank You for loving me with a love that knows no bounds. A love that is forever! Mm. All of a sudden that word holds a lot of comfort and hope. There is a wonderful peace that comes with the thought of being loved by You forever.

Forty-five years ago when I first tried to understand the idea of just going on and on with You forever, I could never understand the point or purpose. My unexpressed… Oh Your goodness Lord! I have NEVER talked about this with You before!

Over forty-five years spent wondering, off and on, what I am going to have to DO forever. Forever. Never ending. Like some cruel personal repeat of the movie Groundhog’s Day, over and over.

Getting to know You better had never really changed the concept for me. Each time I thought of eternity with You, I was still wondering about the doing aspect. Thank You Lord for this very first time of having the concern shattered! Right here before my very eyes. The mere mention of being loved by You forever makes all my doubts and wonders cease to matter! I get to just sit here with coffee in hand, contemplating such love!

♫And I will love You for the cross, I’m overwhelmed by the mystery, I love You for the cross That Jesus You would do this for me. When You were broken, You were beaten, You were punished I go free, When You were wounded and rejected, In Your mercy, I am healed. Jesus Christ the sinner’s friend Does this kindness know no bounds? With Your precious blood You have purchased me O, the mystery of the cross You were punished, You were crushed But that punishment has become my peace Yes, that punishment has become my peace.♫

Oh yes Lord! Your punishment HAS become my peace. And it will take me FOREVER to thank You for Your love and this peace. Thank You Lord. Thank You for this opportunity to finally speak to You about such a huge concern I have carried all these years. Another glimpse of grace with You Dear Lord! Forever. Not nearly the scary concept I had made it out to be. Thank You Lord. I love You. Amen.

(717 words ~ 6:09 a.m.)

the view

Sunday, January 17, 2010 (6:44 a.m.)

Mom’s Kitchen Sink Window

Most Amazing God and Father,

How have I missed it Lord? All these years... Oh I know! I was never really looking for or at it.

The view my mom has from her east facing windows is beyond incredible! I actually lean into them trying to see more. Lord, is this what others’ description of heaven is about? Never wanting to look away. In the very blink of an eye, bright vivid colors fade to shades of gray. I can’t possibly take it all in. Yet I try!

My eyes scour to the south, then to the north. And back, even further south. Cars drive passed. Birds fly by. And I am just lost in the grandeur of it all.

I assume the early morning walkers are out for their morning exercise. I look. I see. But how much do I know?

Most Holy God, thank You for moments such as this.

Monday, January 18, 2010 (7:13 a.m.)

Mm. Most Holy Father, this morning the view is from my own living room. There’s rain and clutter and thoughts that reflect rain and clutter. But beyond that Lord, there’s You! Your love. Your strength. Your power. Your faithfulness.

Mm, Lord. How I thank You for Your faithfulness. Reading already this morning in the book of Nehemiah, I learn that Ezra stood in full view of “all the people” (8:5) when he read to them the scroll of Moses’ laws. Not only was there public reading of Your Word, but public teaching as well. And with that, three verses later (v. 8) we are told, “They read from the Book of the Law of God, making it clear and giving the meaning so that the people could understand what was being read.”

Oh to understand Lord! Your Word. Your joy. Two verses further (v. 10) “… for the joy of the Lord is your strength!” Reading a devotional pertaining to these verses reminds us, "This joy comes from recognizing, even celebrating, God’s ability to bring us out of bondage and to care for us as we pass through the sadness toward a new way of life."

Wow Lord! What a view! Thank You. I love You. Amen.

(373 words ~ 8:49 a.m.)

all our hope

Friday, January 15, 2010 (5:17 a.m.)

♫Jesus, Messiah

♫Name above all names. Blessed Redeemer. Emmanuel♫ Most Blessed Lord, how I thank You for all You are. So often I get caught up in thoughts of all You do. Especially all the things You do for me.

Just to wake up singing ♫All my hope is in You♫ is such a gift Lord. Another gift of grace ~ Your grace. And I am so grateful.

Most amazing God and Father, thank You for Your tender care. Psalm 25:5

Saturday, January 16, 2010 (5:54 a.m.)

Mm. Lord. Here I am. Once again practicing discipline. I confess to being here in body, but not so much in spirit or even mindfulness.

My thoughts are scattered. I seem easily distracted.

Oh, but You are indeed an awesome God!

Blessed Lord, thank You! Thank You that in all of the things there were to do yesterday and even more today, here You are. In waking up singing to You yesterday morning of the hope that’s in You, I sang it as ‘my’. Sometime later I realized it is written as ‘our’. ♫All OUR hope is in You♫

Yes Lord. All OUR hope is in You! Looking up these words instead, I find myself directed to Paul’s first letter to Timothy (4:10). Here the apostle reminded the young pastor “for our hope is in the living God who died for all”.

Just a few verses earlier (7,8) Paul encouraged his close friend, “Don’t waste time arguing over ideas and silly myths and legends. Spend your time and energy in the exercise of keeping spiritually fit. Bodily exercise is all right, but spiritual exercise is much more important and is a tonic for all you do. So exercise yourself spiritually, and practice being a better Christian because that will help you not only now in this life, but in the next life too.”

Mm. Most Holy God. Being reminded that all OUR hope is in You enables me to turn again to Psalm 25:5 asking You wholeheartedly to, “Lead me; teach me for You are the God who gives me salvation. I have no hope except in You.”

Mm. Most Blessed Lord. How I thank You for the love You have for each and every one of us. Thank You for infusing us that we would truly live. In faith. In hope. In love. (1Corinthians 13:13) In You!

Thank You Lord! Thank You for changing my attitude; my heart, my soul, my mind, my strength (Mark 12:30). Thank You for calling me to learn to trust You in all things.

I love You so much Dear Lord. In Your Son’s most Holy name I pray. Amen.

(449 words ~ 6:39 a.m.)

creation

Thursday, January 14, 2010 (6:13 a.m.)

Amazing Father,

You are indeed incredible! Just look at this day that’s beginning outside. You give a whole new dimension to ♫Oh what a beautiful morning♫.

Hmm. Funny that that’s again where my mind is drawn. Broadway musicals. Starting off with Mama Rose (Gypsy) belting out ♫Curtain up! Light the lights!♫ I can see it all now Lord… “Creation! ~ the musical”

I joke. I laugh at my own off beat brand of humor and interaction with You. But the crux of the matter is that almost every time I turn around there is another song that reminds me of You. Whether it is ‘spiritual’ or ‘worldly’ in its origin, so often it all comes back to You, about You and Your creation.

Lord, thank You for allowing me to see things differently. NOT irreverently, mind You! But how can I look out at the clarity of this particular morning without bursting into another number about all You’ve provided us?

The very first mention I find in Your Word about creation is in Genesis 2:1, the New Living Translation. Looking there, I read more about Adam and Eve. Then, in The Bible Handbook is a ‘Theology in Brief’ entitled “The Seven Days: the Bible and Science”, offering six different theories concerning Your Creation.

Sharing my thoughts with You. Offering myself up for You. Singing my heart out to You. Just think about it, Lord. It could be a blockbuster! “Creation! ~ the musical”

I love You Lord! Thank You for creating all of this for us. ♫Curtain up! Light the lights! We’ve got nothing to hit but the heights…♫ Amen.

(277 words ~ 6:57 a.m.)

the REAL thing

Wednesday, January 13, 2010 (6:29 a.m.)

Mm. My Lord, my Father,

Mm. Thank You Lord. Thank You for a heart filled with You this morning. Peaceful. Loving. Irritated? No. Oh yeah. That can be me.

Lord, it’s when I remember to look to You, look around at all You have provided and not at the potential irritants, that my heart returns to peaceful. Calm. Content. Thank You Lord, that You are so perfect.

(8:07 a.m.)

Mm. Again. Look to You. Put my focus on what is real and not on what I would have situations be. Mm. But the truth is I want different. I want better. I want truth. I want real. Real relationships. Based on Your love.

Lord. There is a lot of strain and force and pretense involved in this family and I don’t know how much of it I caused or am responsible for. I’ve made so many mistakes Lord and I look around and see the results and I feel ashamed. My choices have affected others to their cores and I don’t know what to do Lord. I truly need You to tell me what to do.

I realize that I can’t go back and change any of my decisions from the past and I confess not knowing how to proceed. Show me Lord. How do I set good examples? How do I draw healthy boundaries and enforce them? Keep working in me Lord.

Keep drawing me to You, to what is REAL. The REAL thing Lord. You. Your love. Your Word. Your will. Your way. Fill me. Guide me. Confront and change me. I love You and all these things I ask in Your Son’s most Holy name. Thank You Lord. Amen.

(288 words ~ 8:39 a.m.)

love so amazing

Tuesday, January 12, 2010 (5:41 a.m.)

Blessed Lord,

What an incredible way to wake up! Singing in my head, and my heart, to You. ♫Love so amazing Love so amazing…♫

Mm. Lord. Love. So amazing. Yes. So amazing. I get to sit. I get to look. I get to hope. All because Your love is so amazing!

♫He became sin Who knew no sin That we might become His righteousness He humbled Himself and carried the cross Love so amazing Love so amazing♫

How do we even begin to thank You Lord? Learn more? Love more?

I find in Your Word, at most, 25 different verses mentioning the word ‘amazing’. These verses describe: things, deeds, power, blessings, wonders, visions, miracles, even a report.

Mm. Yes. The report! That amazing report (Luke 24:22-23) of the women from Your group of followers who came back from Your empty tomb announcing “they had seen some angels there who told them Jesus is alive!”

♫Love so amazing Love so amazing…♫ Love so amazing indeed! Lord, thank You for a love such as this. A love so amazing that we are to copy it and give it freely to others.

Do that in me this day I pray Dear Lord. Hold me to the origin of Your love, so amazing. Help me share that love, Your love. So amazing, with others. I love You Lord. Thank You. Amen.

(233 words ~ 7:22 a.m.)

Power!

Monday, January 11, 2010 (6:20 a.m.)

Most Amazing God of Glory,

Thank You. Thank You that during all of the restlessness that made up my night, ♫Hallelujah to the Lord of heaven and earth♫ kept singing in my mind. Of course I jumped to the conclusion that we would be talking here about the word ‘hallelujah’ - meaning ‘praise God’ - or even the song itself.

Nope. You keep reminding me not to continue trying to put You into a box of my own understanding. Yes, it’s taken over 40 minutes for me to recognize the “Power!” behind the singing of that song throughout the night.

I knew it was You Lord. Every time my mind would start to consider this thought or that concern ♫Hallelujah to the Lord of heaven and earth♫ jumped right in. Thank You Lord!

Reading in Revelation (17-19:6) of “what sounded like the shouting of a huge crowd, or like the waves of a hundred oceans crashing on the shore, or like the mighty rolling of thunder, ‘Praise the Lord. For the Lord our God, the Almighty reigns’” I realized I was seeking more.

A lesson in our Psalty (the Singing Songbook) Bible made reference to Psalm 47 where I found the words to ♫Singalongathon♫ that mentioned the word ‘maranatha’ which I looked up on the internet. All these years after having first come across the word (again because of Psalty the Singing Songbook) I discovered that it “is an Aramaic phrase occurring once only in the New Testament” (and only in a few translations at that!). “It is transliterated [using the closest corresponding letters of a different alphabet or language] into Greek letters rather than translated”. It is only found in 1 Corinthians 16:22 (in not many versions) and when translated means either “Our Lord, come!” “Our Lord has come” or “Come, O Lord”.

This of course started me singing ♫Come, Lord Jesus, come♫. Which somehow tied into ♫My God is mighty to save, He is mighty to save♫. That led me to think of the Power! You have to save. The Power! You use to change hearts and minds, even in the middle of a somewhat sleepless night.

Dearest Lord God, how I thank You for Your Power! Please use it in me this day. I love You. Amen.

(375 words ~ 7:39 a.m.)

loving

Sunday, January 10, 2010 (6:30 a.m.)

Mm. Most Holy God,

Thank You! Really. Truly. Deeply. Thank You!

I never imagined that ‘speaking the truth in love’ (Ephesians 4:15) with my mom yesterday would result in her and I having the best day together that I honestly ever remember.

Lord. You are GOOD! I definitely didn’t see it coming. You planted in me the idea of examining 1Corinthians 13:4-8a together with her. I verily felt held within Your parameters (framework, limit, boundary). There were moments when I felt ready to fly off the handle, but You were there speaking YOUR truth in love to me.

You spoke kindness and goodness and patience into my heart and I was able to practice them. Oh most Holy God, thank You!

Mm. Lord. I read Your Word. And I read in Your Word, about Your Word. Side commentaries reaffirm what happened in Mom’s kitchen yesterday right before our very eyes. “It is God’s will that we love; without love nothing else matters.” Amen! “Love is more than a feeling. It is a choice of behaviors that grows in our life; it is a fruit of the Holy Spirit, produced in our life as we yield to God.”

It is Lord! I felt it. I knew it as I was choosing to take a deep breath and hold in the mounting frustration. I asked instead of telling. I listened instead of insisting. I heard her Lord. I actually, honestly heard not only what she was saying, but what she was feeling as well.

Thank You God. Thank You! It is only and all because of Your perfect love for each of us that I could even begin to have such an extreme experience as this. Another glimpse of grace with You! Your perfect, generous, loving grace.

So Lord, this I give to You. My thanks. My hope. My praise. My worship. All my adoration. Asking only for Your strength and power in helping me to give my mom what she wants from me… “A loving relationship.” YOU do it Lord! In and through me.

I love and thank You. Amen.

(351 words ~ 7:29 a.m.)

the Maker

Friday, January 8, 2010 (5:34 a.m.)

Mm. Good morning Lord,

I love You. I’m grateful. I wonder. I ponder. I hope. And in the midst of all that, sometimes (often?) I still fear.

Lord, thank You that in Your Word You tell us repeatedly to “Fear not”, “Do not be afraid”, “Be strong and of good courage.” Thank You that in all of these messages it comes back to You. And You being in charge. You having said or done something on which we can build with Your tools of faith and hope and love.

Mm. Yes Lord. You are the Master, the Maker of heaven and earth (Psalm 115:15, 121:2, 124:8, 134:3, 146:6). Lord, how I love when the focus turns from me and all the things I am not to You and all the things You are!

What a blessing. What a joy. What an opportunity to turn to You and Your Word to find more about You!

♫Halleluiah to the Lord of heaven and earth…♫

Saturday, January 9, 2010 (5:17 a.m.)

You allowed me a full day of self-indulgence yesterday Lord. I knew I could come back here with You when I got done with all the driving around through various counties. And I chose not to.

Forgive me for thinking that I didn’t want to ‘tempt fate’ when it came to turning the computer back on after so many hours of being away from it. Lord, it seems so silly now to think that You wouldn’t have been able to keep me focused with just finishing up our time together and not running all over the creation of the internet.

Oh Dearest Lord. Man-made creation does not hold one single candle to all You have made. Yesterday, for I don’t know how many days running, the glory of Your making was again evident in our surroundings. Clear, practically crystal clear blue skies against the sharp vibrancies of the mountain ranges had me gasping at Your creation once more.

Still, I didn’t trust myself not to get lost for the night by simply turning on the computer. When will I learn Lord that it’s not me I have to trust, but You?

Thank You Lord that You are so trustworthy. Thank You too for Your patience with such as me.

Turning again this morning to Jeremiah (33:2,3) I get to read once more of Your personal touch to one who loved and was faithful to You. “The Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth – Jehovah is His name – says this: Ask me and I will tell you some remarkable secrets about what is going to happen here.”

Again I confess oh Lord, that so often I still don’t ask You. And again it’s because of fear. Fear that You won’t answer. Fear that I won’t like what I hear. Keep working in me I pray Oh Lord. You, the Maker of heaven and earth!

♫Halleluiah to the Lord of heaven and earth…♫

I love You Lord. Thank You for all You are doing in and for us. Be with me this day I pray. Amen.

(516 words ~ 6:05 a.m.)

♫Hosanna♫

Thursday, January 7, 2010 (5:46 a.m.)

♫Hosanna…♫

Most Holy God, THANK YOU! Thank You for the chance to wake up once again literally singing Your praises!

♫Praise is rising, eyes are turning to You, We turn to You♫ Mm. Yes. We turn to You! ♫Hope is stirring, hearts are yearning for You. We long for You♫ Mm-hmm! We long for You.

♫‘Cause when we see You, we find strength to face the day. In Your presence all our fears are washed away. Washed away♫

Oh Most Blessed God, thank You for joy such as this. Just to sit and sing with You. Such peace.

♫Hosanna, Hosanna You are the God who saves us, Worthy of all our praises♫ Lord, what a gift You have given us in Your ability and willingness to save each and every one of us.

♫Hosanna, Hosanna Come have Your way among us We welcome You here Lord Jesus♫ Oh yes Lord. We definitely welcome You here Lord Jesus!

♫Hear the sound of hearts returning to You We turn to You♫ Mm-hmm. We turn to You! ♫In Your kingdom broken lives are renewed You make us new♫ Oh Lord. You DO! You make all things new!

Revelation 21:5, “Then He who sat on the throne said, ‘Behold, I make all things new.’ And He said to me, ‘Write, for these words are true and faithful.’” Oh Most Blessed Lord and God, thank You.

♫‘Cause when we see You, we find strength to face the day. In Your presence all our sins are washed away. Washed away♫

Most Holy God, I can’t thank You enough for all You are and all You do. I can only look to You and ask ♫Come have Your way among us We welcome You here Lord Jesus♫

Oh Yes Lord, we DEFINITELY welcome You here Lord Jesus! Thank You Lord. I love You. Amen.

(313 words ~ 6:20 a.m.)

Day of Epiphany

Wednesday, January 6, 2010 (6:04 a.m.)

Blessed Lord,

Speak to me this day. Guide me. Direct. Teach. The Day of Epiphany, Lord. What would You have that mean to me?

Here I am. One who draws the Christmas season out to include the twelve full days after. I look to You. Confused. What would You have me learn? What do You want me to know? And then, how do I put it all into practice?

I love You Lord.

(7:20 a.m.)

Searching. Seeking. Reading. Wondering. Reflecting. Thinking. Gasping. And finally, thanking, worshiping, adoring and especially AWE-ing, if that were even a word.

Another glimpse of glory! Your glory, Your goodness, Your gift to the world. Lord, momentary glimpses of the sun’s rising light reflecting off the majesty of Your mountains honestly took my breath away.

Lord, there is much written about the traditions of the Day of Epiphany. Many ways people celebrate.

(9:36 a.m.)

And I get to celebrate as I start here yet again. Thank You Lord for the ways in which we’ve already been able to celebrate this Day of Epiphany. So many definitions and traditions. The simplest I found, “a Christian holiday on January 6 celebrating the visit of the Magi to the infant Jesus.”

Reading Matthew’s telling of the event in chapter 2, verses 1-12 allows me to ponder their dedication. Their journey to find You.

Most Holy God, thank You for the freedom the birth of Your Son brought to those willing to believe His deity. Thank You for the gifts brought to honor Him. Thank You for the Gift He gave to each of us through Your perfect plan for our salvation.

Reading this passage of Scripture in our Psalty Bible has an accompanying song that is brand new to me. ♫I’m Gonna Wrap Up Myself for Christmas♫ has the descriptive announcement attached that says, “The best gift you can give to Jesus is the gift of yourself.”

Lord, we have practiced that this morning in being loving, honest and careful with our choice of words around here. Many heartfelt hugs, with promises to enjoy and declare Your majesty have already abounded.

Lord God, thank You for such a beautiful and glorious day as this to reflect upon all that makes up the gift of You.

I love You so much and ask that You would continue making me into the woman You would have me be. Thank You Lord. I love You. Amen.

(405 words ~ 9:57 a.m.)

twelfth day

Tuesday, January 5, 2010 (6:20 a.m.)

Good Morning Dear Lord,

Depending on who’s counting and how it can be looked at today is the twelfth day of Christmas. Lord, in an attempt (feeble as it may have appeared to myself or others) to honor You these past twelve days, I thank You for prompting me to remain faithful to You, Your will and Your way for me.

On several of these days Lord, I have truly thought of reverting back to ‘cursing the darkness instead of lighting a candle’. Moaning and groaning comes so easily to me Lord. Thank You that You call us to a much higher plain than that! Thank You that thanking and praising is what You prefer from me.

Lord, I long to honor You. I want to live me life as a testimony to Your goodness and Your grace. It’s only through Your constant reminders to me that I remember where to look (to YOU!) for the courage and strength it takes to get through each obstacle that crosses my path.

Thank You Lord that I get to keep looking to You! Thank You that even this morning as I turn in Your Word to mentions of a twelfth day, I find three. All from the Old Testament: Numbers 7:78, Ezra 8:31 and Ezekiel 29:1. Each verse is coupled in my Life Recovery Bible with commentaries reminding me that all our hope, all our help comes from You.

Lord, how I thank You for keeping my eyes, my heart, my soul seeking You this holiday season. As we prepare to enter into “Ordinary Time”, prior to the coming of Lent (Ash Wednesday, February 17) let me not slip back into thinking that there is ANY thing ‘ordinary’ about You.

I confess to You Dear Lord, how very often and easily I fall back into old behaviors. Keep my focus on You oh Lord! Your will, Your way, Your might, Your good, all the things I need to live my life as You would have me. I love You Lord. Thank You for this particular twelfth day of Christmas, the culmination of many truths learned about You, as well as myself. I love You Lord. Thank You. Amen.

(372 words ~ 7:34 a.m.)

heartened

Monday, January 4, 2010 (6:39 a.m.)

Awesome, Amazing, Wonderful, Incredible God,

Lord, thank You! I may be feeling dispirited because of circumstances that just don’t seem to be changing for the better, but I don’t have to stay there.

I know You are able to work ALL things together for good (Romans 8:28). Take right now for instance. I initially came before You to whine about some hurt feelings. I was also seeking some direction from You. The next thing I know I am turning in Your most Holy Book to read parts of Paul’s letter to the Romans and I’m smiling. Feeling heartened.

It’s You Lord. Your grace, Your love, Your offer of salvation. These are the things on which I am to focus.

It’s very easy for me to let my mind slip gears back to plotting evil and seeking revenge, to fight hurt feelings with more hurt feelings. Thank You that the life You offer us in You is far better than our natural bent toward things. Where my first inclination is to withdraw, becoming sullen and angry, You encourage loving forgiveness.

Thank You that even though these are not my automatic first choices to hurtful situations, I know they are Your best for me. What is truly wonderful here Lord, is that I know these are not things I can offer in and of myself. I must draw closer to You, the source of all things good, asking that You would share Your love and forgiveness with me that I may then in turn offer it to another.

So here I am Lord. Asking, seeking, knocking (Matthew 7:7). I am currently incapable of continuing to serve with a clear mind and open heart. The lines to what are and what are not my responsibilities have become fuzzy. I come to You seeking direction.

You are who I long to follow. Your path is where I want to tread. I love You Lord. I look to You. Asking, seeking, knocking that You would clearly show me the very next step I am to take.

Thank You Lord for heartening my soul. You encourage, uplift, inspirit, raise, boost and cheer us on to Your glory. Do for and in me all that I cannot do for myself Lord. Change my attitude every single time it heads off toward negativity. I love You too much to play around with such toxicity.

Thank You Father that I get to love You so much. Keep working in me I pray. I love You. Thank You. Amen.

(423 words ~ 7:41 a.m.)

last day

Sunday, January 3, 2010 (7:40 a.m.)

Lake Arrowhead Chalets #114

It’s our last day here Lord,

Have we learned what You would have us learn? Have we grown in ways that are pleasing to You? Will we take positive memories home with us? Will we trust and depend on You more readily?

I can only speak for myself here Lord, with a loud and resounding ‘Amen!’ Again I look to Your Word and find verses that speak specifically to me. Nehemiah 8:9b-10, “Don’t cry on such a day as this! For today is a sacred day before the Lord your God – it is a time to celebrate with a hearty meal and to send presents to those in need, for the joy of the Lord is Your strength. You must not be dejected and sad!”

(8:27 p.m. – home again)

“…not be dejected and sad”. Thank You Lord! Thank You that because of You there is reason for rejoicing and good cheer. Thank You that even when all does not turn out as we expect or hope, we can look to You and place our hope there. Mm. Yes Lord. Hope in You! Yes!

Falling asleep earlier, while watching T.V. and not being able to sleep now gives me the chance to come back and finish our time together. Thank You Lord!

Thank You for a safe, beautiful trip down the hill. Thank You for another inspiring time of worshiping with my family. Thank You that even though there remains an unsettling glitch between the wants and needs of a certain individual, YOU are more than able to reshape and breathe Your life into each of us.

Lord, there were signs of ingratitude and attitudes of feeling put upon. Oh but Lord, just as we learned in the message at church today (John 2:1-10) about You performing Your very first miracle by turning water into wine, You keep the best for last. We don’t know what we’re going to have learned from this last day of vacationing together. But I can choose to look to You, expecting that Your best for each of us is yet to come.

John 7:37 also mentions a “last day, that great day of the feast, (when You) Jesus stood and cried out saying, ‘If anyone thirsts, let Him come to Me and drink. He who believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.’” In verse 39 John described this ‘rivers of living water’ as being the Holy Spirit that would soon be given to all who believed in You.

It is upon Your Living Water that I depend Dearest Lord! This little hiccup of discontent for one in no way has to poison the hearts and souls of the rest. How I fully rely on You to take what we are to learn from this, which at this exact moment I believe is 1 Corinthians 13:7-8. “Love is always supportive, loyal, hopeful and trusting. Love never fails!”

On this, our very last day of vacation Lord, I ask You to teach us how to truly love one another as You would have us love. I love You so very much Dear Lord. Thank You. Amen.

(531 words ~ 9:25 p.m.)

inviting

Saturday, January 2, 2010 (9:14 a.m.)

Lake Arrowhead Chalets #114

Beloved Lord,

I have trouble finding the keys through my tears. Sitting. Reflecting. Emoting. Searching. Finding. Knowing. Feeling. Accepting. Wanting. Loving. Thanking.

Yes, Lord. Thank You for Your love for each of us. Thank You for inviting each of us into relationship with You, so that we would in turn invite You into our hearts. Our days. Our lives. Our thoughts. Our moments. Our praises. Our difficulties. And our pain.

Thank You Lord. Thank You for being able to wake up with thoughts of knowing my limitations can be overcome by inviting You into my places of inadequacy. There are so many areas of which I am powerless Lord. Oh but You Dear Lord are able! Thank You.

Thank You for, not only being able to meet our needs, but for being willing to, as well. Thank You that You are far greater than any disappointment or discouragement. Thank You that You created each of us in Your image that we would stand and point to You as THE One and Only God. Oh Dear Lord, thank You.

This morning I come to You confessing my powerlessness of meeting my own desires and self imposed expectations. I look to You, the God who can. Blessed beloved Lord, I am once again willing to let go of my own understandings. Lord, I confess to operating almost automatically on things that make sense to me. My own sense can so often be skewed by circumstances.

Thank You that again and again I get to return to the foot of Your cross, holding messes that I have made simply because they made sense to me.

Thank You God, that You are not thwarted nor put off by my own inability. Thank You that You are ALWAYS able! Able to do all that I cannot!

Lord, I love You so very much. I love digging into Your Word, finding messages of hope and recognizing myself over and over. See? Look. Here I am, mentioned right in the middle of Isaiah 35:8(TLB). “And a main road will go through that once-deserted land; it will be named ‘The Holy Highway.’ No evil-hearted men may walk upon it. God will walk there with you; (wait for it… here I come…) even the most stupid cannot miss the way.”

Thank You Lord! Thank You that even I can’t miss Your way!!!! Thank You for allowing me to wake up this morning inviting You into this day by singing ♫Come, Lord Jesus, come♫ In looking up and finding the words, I got to go again to Revelation 22 and read once more of Your promised river of life.

Back (Isaiah 35) and forth (Revelation 22) I read of ‘the renewed land which the redeemed of the Lord will inherit when God’s promises are fulfilled’ and of ‘a final vision of the new heavens and earth… [where] the redeemed will walk in this city of God, serving Him, seeing His face.’

Even in reading that, I find myself rushing off to find the words to ♫Let the redeemed of the Lord say so…♫ which takes me to Psalm 107:2 and reminds me that when the Lord has redeemed us, we are to speak out.

Oh most Holy God. Most Holy, Beloved, Lord God. Thank You! Thank You for loving, providing, saving, redeeming… Thank You for inviting us to invite You into our lives. Our days. Our moments. Our hearts. Our circumstances.

Your promise (Revelation 22:20) is “Yes, I am coming soon!” My inviting cry is (also Revelation 22:20) “Amen! Come, Lord Jesus!”

Ah, yes. ♫Come, Lord Jesus, come…♫ I love You so much. Thank You. Amen.

(613 words ~ 10:26 a.m.)

brand new

Friday, January 1, 2010 (7:45 a.m.)

Lake Arrowhead Chalet #114

New. Happy. Not.

Blessed Lord, It’s a brand new year. A brand new decade! And oh Lord, how I am asking You for a brand new disposition!

(10:55 a.m.)

One brand new parade, one brand new to us homemade cinnamon roll recipe and one brand new potential skirmish later and I have another glorious glimpse of You Lord.

Happy? Not yet. New – absolutely!

Lord. THANK YOU for the way You work in our lives. No sooner had I asked for a brand disposition than I found three verses to give me hope in exactly that direction.

Mm. Yes. God of hope. Thank You! Thank You that I get to read of brand new things that You promised Isaiah (43:19 and 48:7) for Your people. Mm. Yes Lord. Thank You.

Thank You that I get to choose if I want to continue feeling glum on my own or turn to You and Your Word for help. Thank You that this morning I chose You!

Thank You that I get to confess to You an extremely emotional heart at the moment. Tears are at the ready. It’s nothing new. I’ve DEFINITELY felt this degree of sadness at the end of an old year/beginning of a new year before.

Again I confess to feeling a little afraid of the emotion Dear Lord. Part of my mind tells me I have far too much to be grateful for to feel anything but happy. The other part of me is encouraging me to relax, even embrace the sadness, because this too shall pass.

Lord, thank You that I get to keep coming back to You saying, “Thank You”. Whole-hearted, loving thank You.

Turning in my Life Recovery Bible (Colossians 3:10) and The Bible Handbook I get to be wonderfully reminded of “Christ, The Pattern for a Fulfilling Life” and “Principles to Live By”. Lord. Thank You for prompting me to turn to You! Thank You for Paul’s words (vs. 1-3) urging us to keep putting our focus on You.

Lord, I love You so much. You provide for us so very well. Whether I am feeling happy or sad. Regardless if my circumstances are brand new or profoundly old, YOU are constant! You never change. One year. One decade. One millennial. You remain the same. Thank You Lord. Happy New Year! I love You. Amen.

(401 words ~ 11:57 a.m.)